Ask the Yangxifu: Review of Exposing the Myth Behind Why Asian Men Can’t Date White Women

Chinese husband, Western wife, singing karaoke
My review of the CD "Exposing The Myth Behind Why Asian Men Can't Date White Women" (and the accompanying e-Book)

This week, I’m pre-empting the usual Q&A, to give you a review of the free audio dating CD, “Exposing the Myth Behind Why Asian Men Can’t Date Western Women,” and free e-book, “Enter the Pickup Artist Preview,” by JT Tran, the Asian Playboy.


Over the past year, I’ve gotten a lot of e-mails from Chinese men, who are desperate to know one thing — how to date Western women.

And so I’ve answered, from advice on how to meet Western women in China or America, to how to approach Western women in China, to even dishing out my suggestions for a Chinese student pursuing a brunette here in the US.

But the truth is, as good as my answers are, there’s much more to getting in a relationship with a Western woman than being in the right place, and having the right approach. That’s because you can fail for so many other reasons — because you don’t have the confidence, or you lack personality, or you don’t know how to hold a conversation, or you have the wrong body language.

Fortunately, there’s an Asian brother out there who understands. JT Tran was once, as he puts it, a “textbook nerd” who studied engineering in college here in the US, and had absolutely no clue on how to get American women. He was even rejected by eHarmony for being “too analytical and cerebral.” That was the wake-up call that jumpstarted his own transformation into the guy now known as “the Asian Playboy” — the number one dating coach for Asian men.

Asian Playboy?

Yes, I was a little skeptical too. After all, I’m not the kind of girl who runs around with playboys — never have, never will. The whole idea of a “playboy” seems against one of the most important things I have loved about dating Chinese men (namely, that they generally date seriously, with the intent to marry you). So why should I support a guy who might just turn all of these great Chinese men out there into lifelong playboys?

To be sure, JT could teach you how to be a playboy, if you really wanted. And he doesn’t shy away from talking about sex and seduction. But, the thing is, JT doesn’t discriminate. He also teaches many men how to find the love of their lives, that one dream girl they finally marry. And, after listening to his free advanced audio dating CD and e-book, I believe a lot of Chinese men could learn from JT, so they can confidently approach any Western woman out there.

First of all, the audio dating CD — “Exposing the Myth Behind Why Asian Men Can’t Date White Women” — really grabbed my attention just because it was so fun to listen to. JT Tran, along with William, the Better Asian Man, are so easygoing and affable throughout the CD. At times, I almost felt like I was eavesdropping on two Asian men swapping their best dating advice and dating stories. These guys are so relatable — and I found myself nodding my head at the examples they gave, because I’d seen or heard similar things from other Chinese or Asian men.

For example, William said he was once like a “walking contradiction” — because he had a really muscular physique, but lacked the social skills to go along with it. William also confessed that he was afraid to approach White women in the US, because he believed they wouldn’t find him attractive, since that’s what he saw on TV.

JT and William drive home the idea that White women actually perceive Asian men in a more neutral, not negative, way. That might be hard for Chinese men in China to believe, given the results of a recent survey on What Western Women Think of Chinese Men.  Or even the way Western women bemoan the dating scene in China over and over again.

On the other hand, the more important thing is that JT and William encourage Asian men to go beyond the negativity (“stop watching or listening to anything negative [about Asians]”), and instead see themselves as worthy of getting any girl they want. And I’m totally with them on this. I would love it if more Chinese men ditched the “I’m not worthy” mentality every time they see a Western woman.

Then come the tips. JT and William cover how to start building your confidence (such as William’s self-expanding beliefs, which were even inspiring to me). They talk about the importance of fashion and appearance, and how you can dress and style your hair to look more attractive (which even helped JT, who described himself as short, chubby, and not the best-looking guy in the room). They also talk about improving your “verbal game” and share some openers you could use with a woman in a bar (I was, admittedly, rolling my eyes at a few of these, but I’m willing to concede that there can be a time and place for them, provided you get the delivery right).

I loved William’s personal stories at the end — in particular, how he romanced a White woman, despite how she claimed she didn’t date Asian men, and that the experience actually ended up restoring her faith in men. And William’s not one to shy away from getting really personal, even confronting the “Asian men have small penises” question (and dishing out an awesome comeback for it).

My only criticism is that JT and William lose you every now and then with some of their references. For example,  pickup artist lingo, such as AMOG or kiss-close (both of which I had to look up). Or hair care product suggestions (which I don’t remember on any of the shelves in Watson’s). Or things that only Americans would understand, such as “corn-fed Midwesterner.” Fortunately, JT and William are talkers, and generally state the same advice several different times. So even if you don’t understand one sentence, just keep listening, and you’ll get it.

You won’t always get it, however, with the e-Book, called “Enter the Pickup Artist Preview.” That’s not because it has more jargon (which it does). It’s just dealing with a more inherently complicated subject, the subtle art of seduction. JT does his best to give a thumbnail sketch of picking up women, from exercises for improving your body language to tips on building sexual interest. But it’s hard to translate flirtations to the written page, because it’s something you really need to see in action. And, after all, this e-Book is only a preview — but an extremely generous one at that.

When it comes to sex, not everyone will be comfortable with what JT puts out there in the e-Book. But, on the other hand, that’s the good thing about JT — that he presents the whole spectrum of possibilities, and lets you decide how far you want to go.

Do I recommend getting the free CD and e-book? Absolutely. While this is no ultimate roadmap for picking up Western women, it’s still inspiring and insightful — a great starting point for any Chinese man who wants to to date us.

Best of all, it’s free — so think of this as my Christmas gift to all of the Chinese men out there, reading this blog. 😉

To get your free copy of the audio dating CD and e-book, just sign up for the Asian Playboy’s free newsletter at The ABC’s of Attraction or by visiting The Asian Playboy’s blog.


Do you have a question about life, dating, marriage and family in China/Chinese culture (or Western culture)? Every Friday, I answer questions on my blog. Send me your question today.

8 Replies to “Ask the Yangxifu: Review of Exposing the Myth Behind Why Asian Men Can’t Date White Women”

  1. Why just target “white women”? it’s like teaching chinese women to romance white caucasian men. Meeting and attracting a mate and hoping for a meaningful relationship would require a human to step out of their “comfort zone” or their usual social condition done unjustly by negative programming from close friends, their cultural upbringing beliefs (such as “I don’t like their way of living so therefore i think they’re bad to mingle with or they won’t be able to fit in with our family and society circle” or “she will have to change her ways for me.). Besides that, if it was going to be a successful relationship, two beings would have to have alot of common things (personal perspectives, interests,hobbies etc) they share together not just sexual/emotional connections.

  2. The funny thing for me is that most of the men I have met from china are funny, smart, and outgoing. Chinese men have just as much chance as any guy in finding the right women for them.. white or otherwise. Its great to see our generation really talking about AMWF ( or other )relationships. 🙂 As a women, its also awesome to listen to what Chinese ( or other) men have to say, and to talk to other women about their experiences.

  3. “I would love it if more Chinese men ditched the “I’m not worthy” mentality every time they see a Western woman.”

    It is very difficult when you see stuff like this…

  4. great read!
    This video is also pretty interesting:
    The consensus seems to be that asian men are just not manly enough. I spent this past summer in central china and I have to agree that the men there were often quite smaller and more fragile looking than the women! By the time I came back to the states, I had forgotten what real men look like!!

  5. The diet in that part of china lacks protein like meat.They don’t like too much meat.
    So, they tend to be smaller.

  6. Some of you Asian girls live in a Western media inspired dreamland.

    Southern Chinese can be small (like me). I am not even well built although i do a little bit of weight training because I used to be a competitive dancer. I am not that good looking either (I guess I was when younger).

    But when I used to dance with white women, sometimes they would rub their hands all over me. One said that when she did that she realised that she had been deprived. I had a 19 year old girlfriend when I was in my early thirties. She was 2 inches taller than me and (coloured) blonde; long legs; gorgeous, really pretty. She said what she liked was that I had a “tight” body.

    In my late thirties, I went into a men’s changing room in Essex to get ready for a dance comp. I had my shirt off. My body was defined, muscular and with a slight six pack. Slim, tight. Perfect. Many of the white guys – they were podgy, pink flesh in indistinct shapes. Many were younger than me. Yeah, they were taller, but so what? The quality of my flesh was first rate. They were hulking. It was like being a new sports car amongst huge old American cars that were falling apart. I was actually embarrassed because my brown body was shining in this assembly of pink flesh. Plus white guys age a lot quicker. They seem to lose melanin and whilst Chinese skin shines, theirs looks mottled. When they sunbathe, their flesh looks older.

    It is true, they have larger bones, larger builds and larger members. But so what? A larger body is more difficult to maintain physiologically.

    I am not anti -white. I don’t like to be critical, but Asian girls need to get the reality. I have grown up in the UK, played sport with these guys, done karate, gone into the same changing rooms. They are my mates and I love my English friends and (I would hope) they love me. But nature is nature and there are pros and cons and also Hollywood inspired lies. Listen, when I go out, I like to look “hip” and must admit that I wear vests on to show off my physique and women do comment on my body in a complimentary way. I don’t even go to gym – can’t afford it! But I work out on a very heavy kick bag with free weights………..and I am 47.

    The advantage is that I am slim. When I bulk up a bit, I look really good, like a young man. This is directly due to my Chinese genetics. I can’t be Joe Lewis, but I can be Bruce Lee.

    And that’s true for you Chinese young men. Don’t be discouraged by the lies and BS that even your sisters believe. Get working out, be aggressive in a white man’s world, be a bit of a trouble maker, lose jobs but gain some self respect. Learn off the black man.

  7. Asians have small penis, that’s true, but there’re exceptions too, and I’m just one of them. My penis is over the average American size. Yet Asian penises are the hardest comparing to the white and black’s, in a sex life, hardness is the most important thing for a man’s sex organ. Even you have 8 inches, but you can’t erect or erect softly, so how could you have good sex?

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