I’m on the fast track back to the US (I’ll be hopping a plane back there on Tuesday, August 16). That’s why I’m late to tell you about my latest appearance in the news — a Global Times article titled On the Fast Track to Love, a story about cross-cultural speed dating. Here are a few quotes from me in the article:
For some, the attraction comes from an interest in their partner’s culture. “I’ve always felt more comfortable in the company of Chinese men, since their culture is more in tune with who I am,” US born Jocelyn Eikenburg, an English/Chinese translator who married a Chinese man and blogs about intercultural relationships, said, adding that she’s actually “incredibly shy and not so direct with people.”
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For many Westerners, saying “I love you” is a big step in a relationship, a sign that you are really serious and invested; while love is usually implied among Chinese couples through actions such as sending you all the way to the door of your apartment, Eikenburg said.
“When Chinese do verbalize their feelings, they tend to use softer terms than what we are used to, such as ‘I like you’ because the word for love packs quite a punch in Chinese,” she added. “Not surprisingly, many Chinese with foreigners actually feel more comfortable saying ‘I love you’ in a foreign language.”
Check out the full article online. And if you love it, share it. Thanks!
I can well agree with this article. My chinese husband once told me that he likes to have social and outgoing girls as a friend but he prefers his wife to be more shy person (like me).
And we haven’t really had any kind of cultural clashes.. Maybe because he has been living outside of China already for about 6 years (in Australia and Finland) so he is well-adapted to different cultures. I have also never heard him saying ‘I love you’ in chinese, but then again I have just started my chinese languagestudies so we only use english as our common language for now..
Congrats. I know that this is late in coming, but thanks for answering my question 🙂 Sorry that my gratitude is late.
Jocelyn, what you said is quite right. A Chinese man would show his love by sending his partner all the way to her door or apartment like you said. This is also what happens here in Malaysia. And he is also likely to say I like you even he means I love you. And may I add he is also likely to buy you food. Of course, mores are changing with more and more intercultural relationships blossoming as a result of globalisation.
I’m shy ,too 🙂 lol. Chinese men are very smart with women appearances in general. Of course, we want beautiful looking women as our gfs or wives ;however, we will normally pick gf or wife material women over very beautiful women without qualities. I mean most women are extremely beautiful but if they’re not our long term targets we don’t marry them. We want women to be low maintenance not high maintenance . If I was a single guy right now, I would say I love you and kiss her when I walk to her door lol.