My Husband and His Childlike Christmas Cheer

John admiring the inflatable globe that "Santa Claus" brought him.
John, admiring the inflatable globe that “Santa Claus” brought him.

The other day, I caught John pouring over his inflatable globe — and couldn’t help but remind him of its origins.

“Remember when ‘Santa Claus’ gave that to you last year?” I said with a wink.

He giggled in response. “‘Santa Claus’ really knows what I like.”

It’s the sort of thing you’d hear a parent ask their child — instead of a wife asking her husband. Yet, even though we both know who “Santa Claus” really is, any talk of the jolly old man never fails to bring a smile to his face.

At the same time, the very mention of “Christmas lights” will have John’s face all aglow. He’s the one that even suggested the tradition of hanging them on our windows, along with the lights on our Christmas tree. He’s also the one who, year after year, loves stringing them up, just as he loves decking out our Christmas tree in all of the “Chinese ornaments” we’ve collected over the years.

He even opens our Christmas cards throughout the season with the joy of a child opening presents on Christmas morning. I always save every unopened envelope just for him, so he might “unwrap” the greetings for the two of us — and I might enjoy watching the smiles that unfurl across his face.

I’m sure lots of couples enjoy, say, their share of “Santa” jokes — or happen to have someone in the family who is crazy about their Christmas lights. But sometimes, there’s something unabashedly innocent — and even childlike — about John when it comes to enjoying the holidays. At a time in my life when the holidays sometimes feel more like work than wonder, he seems to balance my perspective, to remind me about the simple pleasures of the season, to implore me to relax and enjoy it.

Maybe that’s because he’s only known Christmas for 10 years. After all, he never celebrated until we started to date — and even then, it wasn’t until we moved to the US that he really experienced the holiday, in all of its bright lights, tinsel and gingerbread splendor. When you’re still getting to know such an important holiday, when it still feels as fresh and merry as a sprig of mint in your hot chocolate, perhaps it keeps you younger in your perspective — more immune to all of the Christmas stress and bah-humbug feelings that loom from time to time.

Whatever it is, I hope I’ll still have a few more good years of this, watching John giggle over the mention of his secret “Santa Claus.”

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32 Replies to “My Husband and His Childlike Christmas Cheer”

  1. My wife (from southern China), is similar. Though she hates the idea of looking for gifts or cards, it is so fun to watch her enjoy the holiday. Whether it is christmas yankee swap with our bird club, or opening gifts that she never expected to get from family, that innocent joy makes everything worthwhile. As may be the case with John, my wife is equally enjoyable to buy/make stuff for for other holidays and dates, as the gift-giving thing is pretty foreign to her. She is the only woman I know that doesn’t like getting cards; rather, she wants food! Our anniversary came the other day, and she was so upset that I might have spent $4.49 on a nice card, but she was quite happy with the chunk of her favorite “smoky cheese” and the bottle of pepper sauce that I got her instead. “Through the eyes of a child…” 🙂

  2. When I used to be a child I loved celebrating New Years with my family; we’d put up Evergreen tree and celebrate it and whatnot. But I started to grow older, and we stopped putting up the evergreen tree because it was too much work. We have a small one that we use, and that’s it. Throughout the years, I’ve stopped looking forward to New Years and at times holidays reminded me that the year was over and I accomplished so little over the year that I was extremely unhappy when holidays came.

  3. Awww… Sveta. That sounds so sad! I am like, the opposite. I am a Christmas FIEND. Especially when it comes to a tree! I just love all holiday decorating and feeling like the year is almost over. Since it is my first year of being married, I get to start all kinds of little traditions with my husband. 🙂

  4. To me, the loss of enthusiasm during the Holiday season can not be explained rationally: it just happened. I turely wish I could just have another reason to be happy, but it’s not coming back.

  5. Totally agree! The other day we put the Christmas tree in our home and he enjoyed with the lights and all decoration like a little kid. Plus the fact that when he gets home the lights are already on!

    The other positive thing is that since in Spain we “don’t have Santa Claus” Christmas last longer, until the Three Wise Men come in January with the presents and they leave them next to the slippers under the tree.

    So the whole story, the decoration, and the fact that Christmas is something new for him is really exciting.

  6. When I was younger I sometimes found Christmas to be quite stressful too, with all the preparations that had to be done. But ever since moving out from home I enjoyed the rare event of seeing my parents, brothers, sisters and nephews all gathered in one place for Christmas, with or without Christmas tree.

    This year will be different though. People in Shenzhen ask others for their Christmas plans all of the time and are quite surprised when I tell them that I have no plans since Christmas is a family event and it just feels weird if you celebrate it with friends instead of family (we did that a few years back in Kunming, but to me it just felt a bit strange and not Christmas-y at all).

  7. I’m also based in Shenzhen and some people, including my bf, asked me if I want to go to Hongkong for Christmas. I say that it’s impossible cause Christmas is for family and we always spend it at home, eating and singing carols. I’d feel terrible if I’d spend my Christmas Eve in a shabby room in Chungking Mansion, talking with my family on skype… ugh! Anyway, this is going to be my first Christmas away from home so I’m sad but also quite excited about my polish-chinese christmas tree and the dinner on the Christmas Eve, already invited my bf’s family and two friends 🙂
    But my bf is not excited at all and doesn’t even pretend to care… quite strange, since it’s going to be his first Christmas…

  8. @Barbara,
    I am in the “same” situation, Christmas is for family, since I won’t go home ( like the last 3 years, that I spent in the countries where I was working), spending the time with my couple, and close friends is the best thing.
    Last year we had dinner together, we used Skype to share the moment with our families in Europe, and turns that when your family sees you are happy, even cross borders, they feel is more than fine!
    Plus, I am so cool that I keep sending postcards to everyone! 😉 That’s quite expensive..but worthy to see their fridges with Chinese postcards!

  9. Love Christmas season. Set up 7′ tall tree, it looks so real but no falling needles 🙂 Lot of decorations on the tree.
    Don’t put lights outside any more because some neighbors are Jewish. It would be quite contrast to see the differences.
    Would usually write a lot of cards and send out gifts left and right. Reconnect to people that have not been in touch for a while.

  10. @Barbara: Same here with me. What is it about Hongkong that everyone wants to go there for Christmas? Do they have a tradition of celebrating Christmas there because it once belonged to Great Britain?

    Don’t know if my boyfriend would be excited about celebrating Christmas – unfortunately he won’t be here with me to celebrate it this year – but since he would like to visit my home country together with me next year I thought Christmas might be a good time to visit family and friends.

  11. @Jocelyn. Thanks for yet another great post. Since you are dedicating this site to dating between Chinese men and Western women, have you ever considered interviewing a Chinese man named Winston Wu who claims to have dated so many White Russian ladies? You can go to his site at to investigate. Good luck.

  12. @Manny,
    I think he is From Taiwan but raised in Canada. Russia is not 100% west, is a huge country and a very big part is East.
    I have read about him and the way he talks about himself and women is pretty annoying.
    It seems like he wants to “be” the next Hugh W. With playboy girls, but Mr Hugh behaves like a gentleman

  13. @ Laura. I read about him recently. I would like to corret you on 2 things: 1) Winston was rasied in California and not Canada; 2) Hugh Hefner is the name and not “Hugh W.” Yes, I agree that he (Winston) seems to want to be a philanderer. I am happy to read that an Asian boy has the nerve to seek out White girls and I am proud to know that not all White girls reject him. It validates my point that not all of my fellow Whites are prejudice against Asians. I hope that Jocelyn will do either an interview with him or an expose on him.

    @Laura. Do you have any stories to tell about romance between White boys and Chinese (or Asian) girls? I would love to hear them.

  14. Hugh hefner has money, a mansion and Playboy magazine, casino etc. Young women like the wild lifestyle and later pose on Playboy that’s all. Actually, I think it’s a business deal/transaction. Imagine you’re older and have no money. Not even a fly will land on you. All those women got what they wanted and moved on. I can’t imagine an 18 to 21 yrs old girl/woman would waste her life with an 80 yrs old man. Maybe she likes his wrinkled skin or ass? Let’s be serious here.

    Manny, learn a second language like cantonese or mandarin. Mandarin is for now but 20 yrs ago you have to learn cantonese. You will have an upper hand if you know her language or have an interest in her language or culture. Register yourself in a college course related to foreign language ( mandarin)

  15. Hey Bruce, my bro. Good to hear from you again after a long disappearance. I was beginning to think that you became bored of this site and then decided to abandon us all. Well, thanks for your advice about learning either Mandarin or Cantonese. Thanks for all the advice to date. I do not think that I need to take any Chinese language course at this time because I am about to propose to an ABC (American Born Chinese) girl this weekend for her to be my steady girlfriend as things between her and me are going well. She was born and raised in the U.S. and thus she speaks perfect American Westcost English including a Westcoast accent. She does not have a trace of a foreign Chinese accent. If one talked to her telephonically, one would think that she is a typical White girl based on her accent and choice of words. Only if you see her face-to-face will one realize that she is Chinese by ethnicity. If I fail with her and then I decide to visit Shanghai and/or Beijing next summer, then I will be certain to learn some Mandarin. I will keep you posted on al developments, bro. I will also tell that whether it is all hype or fact that a “fortune chickie” can satisfy a White boy better than a White chickie. You will recall that many of my fellow White boys have been telling me that a “fortune chickie” is better. Thanks for everything.

  16. Nah, I think sexually , it’s just in your head. Makes no difference if she’s asian ,white ,blacks or green. All in your head okay. When it comes to families values and pushing your lazy ass to excel then she might have more to offer. I’m just generalizing . You just have to be lucky sometimes. What did your white boys say that asian women are better than white women? In what ways?

  17. Manny,

    One day, I want you guys to ban me from this site. I’m expandable!! There will always be someone coming along who is better than me. Like everyone here, I have my worries of everyday life. Manny, you are about getting a gf. For me , it’s about creating a more satisfying life for now and for the future. Happy ,satisfied life means good health, peace in the home, non-stressful career ( work under my terms) and not broke. You can be a multi-millionaire and without those things above, you will always be lonely and unhappy. Money will only makes things better but it won’t meet all elements as being happy,satisfied life. Working hard like an ox and having all the money and all the real estate won’t escape you from death.

    We just have to do our part in order to make this world more understanding. That’s why we can’t just do the same thing all the time. We have to do different things to reach out more.

  18. @ Bruce. Please note that not all of my fellow White boys preferred an Asian girl. I am saying that only some of those White boys preferred a “fortune chickie.” It seemed in my personal observation that a lot of my fellow White boys want an Asian girl these days. Among those who have an Asian fetish like I have, they said that the Asian girls have super slender bodies and don’t gain weight as much or as fast as White chicks; they have silky smooth skin unlike the White girls who have to shave to achieve this smoothness; their faces retain the younger look better than the White chickies who have to use aides such as more cosmetics, plastic surgeries, botox etc.; they value family cohesion more; they are a little more submissive than the White girls as they obey the man more; etc. Need I continue, bro? I even heard from one White boy who told me that almost every morning, his Chinese girlfriend performed fellatio prior to both of them waking up. She knew that a man’s penis is erected in the morning and she knew this was a good time to provide the oral sex to make her boyfriend happy. He also said that no White girl was willing to go to this extent every day to satisfy her man. So, bro, does this answer your question as to why so many of my fellow White boys prefer a Chinese (or Asian) “fortune chickie”?

    I still know a lot more stories that I heard from my fellow White boys and I can write for days and days without end. Do you still want to hear more? Or do you want me to spare you the details?

    Now do you see why I want a “fortune chickie” instead of a White Chick?

  19. @Bruce. So, wish me luck this weekend as I will ask my potential “fortune chickie” to be my steady girlfriend. Then if she says “yes”, I will report back to you and to others in this site whether the greatness of a “fortune chickie” girlfriend is all hype or fact. So, wish me luck.

    Any last minute advice for me? I would appreciate it from you and as well as from all others.
    No, I will not ban you from this site as you are too useful to me as you continue to advise me on this matter. Thanks for all your help, bro.

  20. “I even heard from one White boy who told me that almost every morning, his Chinese girlfriend performed fellatio prior to both of them waking up.” —> that is false man. Your friend is exxaggerating. Don’t listen to that guy man! First of all, in the beginning of a relationship everything is happy happy according to plan but later on none of that stuff will happen. Manny, you mean I don’t know?? I have dated asian women before so I tell you. Everything you’ve talked about is related to an individual. Not all asian women will do that or try to please a man. Most will not listen to you after a few months. Normally, women will do alot in the beginning in order for you to get HOOKED and then you will pay later. More details if this site will allow you , Manny. I have silky smooth skin ,too. wanna touch ? 🙂 LOL. Yes , we don’t have much body hair but we have other things we don’t like about us also. no one is perfect dude. I like the way white women look more than asian women. We all have something we prefer.


  21. @Bruce. Thanks yet once again for your advice and help.

    So, here is the update. I traveled out of my small town this weekend to the place where my sister Pam lives for her university studies. I stayed with my sister and my “fortune chickie” lives in the general area as well. I did see my “fortune chickie” and I did propose to be boyfriend and girlfriend with to her. She accepted but she and Pam did not have much time to celebrate with me because they are going through finals this week. So, the celebrations will occur after the finals. Once the finals are done, Pam and my “fortune chickie” will come to my town where my “fortune chickie” will stay with my family for a few days. Then Kate will return to her home in California to spend the Christmas Holidays. Afterwards, she will return to university along with my sister. I hope that after her finals and during the several days that she will be with me in my small town, I will get to do a lot of touching and feeling of my Katie. I hope that I will be able to unwrap my “fortune chickie” (if you know what I mean). I will keep you abreast of all developments, bro. Take care and once again thanks for all your advice.

  22. Manny,

    “Touching and feeling “? It’s a given that touching will occur in any relationship. No big deal. It’s all in your head man. After a few months, there won’t be any more excitement . We just have to get back to reality then. Now, a woman who has the personality to stimulate your mind then it’s very fun being with her. It’s the humors, the caring and being considerated will take you to another level.

  23. @Bruce. What type of present do you recommed me to buy her for X’mas? Should I buy a similar sexy red underwear which Jocelyn posted on her Nov. 23, 2012 posting: I want to buy her something sexy to suggest “Sao” which I just learned today on Jocelyn’s post. Now do you see why Jocelyn is one of the greatest all times? She gives free cultural lessons for me. Now do you see why I cannot leave Jocelyn’s site? There is no doubt that Jocelyn Eikenburg is the greatest!!!!

    @ Jocelyn, you are the greatest of all times!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    @ Bruce. Oh, I almost forgot to mention that you are one of the greatest Chinese men of all times also. Thanks for all your help as well.

  24. Manny,

    You don’t have to kiss up to me or anybody. I’m not one of the greatest chinese men of all time :). I think you take everything out of context. Superstituous people wear red this and that including red underwear. Red symbolizes good luck. I don’t know if it’s true or not that she wants to be your gf but it’s too early to give her underwear . Your timing is off a bit. You can give her like 2 to 3 months later when everything starts to progress. Yes, it’s true that I ‘ve had given women underwear a long long time ago but that was months later. Did your ex white gfs in the past jump in bed with you ASAP? Buying underwear is a very intimated thing and personal also. Manny, you should know this man. Didn’t you date before? Tell me now dude! If you say you don’t have much experience then I will forgive you :).

    Normally, the men in WMAW relationships are calm, understanding and friendly that I’ve seen and talked to. Asian women are not attracted to loud mouth men or arrogance in men. This is what I’ve seen :).

  25. @Bruce.

    No, I have not ever had a steady White girlfriend before. I only have dated several White chicks in the past for a brief time and I chose not to continue any more with them, because they did not turn me on. I had plenty of opportunities to date White girls though as some have demonstrated interest in me but I turned my back on them time and time again. Although I “banged” several of them, I did not enjoy it too much because of the fact that they are White and because my heart and mind were into “fortune chickies.” I had to close my eyes and imagined that they were Chinese (or Asian) girls in order to have some type of sustained erection. I am not too attracted to White girls even though I am a solid White boy. Many people have asked me why I cannot fall in love with a fellow White. The answer is simply that everyone in my family is White and I see White every where. When I see a White chick, she reminds me of my sisters or female cousins of whom I have plenty. I get the sick feeling of incest when I touch them. Don’t ask me why this is the case when there are many White boys who can and do date White chicks and do not have this sick feeling. I guess I am different.

    Now, when I see a “fortune chickie” I go wild!!!!!! A Chinese (or Asian) woman is totally exotic and do not give me the incestuous feeling that a White girl will give me. I dream daily of unwrapping a “fortune chickie” and am very close now.

    I will refrain from buying her the sexy red underwear for now based on your advice because as you said it is too early to show this level of intimacy. So, do you have another recommendation for me to buy her as a Christmas present?

  26. I understand the feeling of not finding one’s own race not attractive in an intimated way. Buy her a red sweater for Christmas is fine. You have to make her comfortible in every single ways. Don’t just think about banging her and sex sex sex. If you still listen to that friend of yours regarding sex every morning , then you will be very very disappointed. Maybe you’re 27 and your sex drive is high but later on in a few weeks, you don’t look at her in that way anymore.

  27. @Bruce. Thanks for your help. She will come this weekend after her finals along with my sister Pam to stay in my town for several days before she returns to California. I hope that her sojourn in my town will enable me to unwrap this “fortune cookie.” She said already that she will be my girlfriend but she did not have the time right now to celebrate with me as she will finish her finals his Thurs. Dec. 13, 2012. Afterwards, she will visit me. I will be certain to buy her both a sweater and a necklace without straining my budget. Wish me luck.

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