Guest Post: When I Think of Seoul, I Think of Flesh and Sweat and Sighs of Pleasure

An anonymous reader who calls herself “Nasty Woman” sent in this story of what she describes as “the absolutely red-hot but short-lived affair I had with an Asian man while on vacation, the sexiest man I’ve ever known.”

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Last month, I visited Asia with a friend for the first time. The plan was to go to Tokyo, Kyoto, Osaka and then Beijing over the course of almost three weeks. Reading all the sweet, romantic love stories on this blog, I feel a little naughty sharing this one, because it’s a story of pure lust and not much else. I hope that’s OK – I figured since Asian men are undersexualized in American culture we could use a story about the absolutely red-hot but short-lived affair I had with an Asian man while on vacation, the sexiest man I’ve ever known. Seriously ladies, buckle up.

I fit the stereotype of the sexually liberated Western woman pretty well. I prefer meaningful, loving relationships but certainly don’t say no to casual sex when the opportunity arises. While in Japan, I downloaded Tinder and did meet up with someone but wasn’t really attracted to him, so that didn’t go anywhere. I was having a great time with my friend so I didn’t care all that much about meeting guys anyway. On our last night in Osaka, though, things changed.

I was getting ready to go out drinking by the river with my friend, and when I came downstairs to the hostel lobby, I saw that she was chatting with a guy staying at the hostel. He was a very handsome solo traveler from Seoul and the friend that I was traveling with was half-Korean/half-Chinese, so they were just casually making conversation. When I found out he could also speak excellent English, I joined in on the conversation and liked him immediately. I invited him out drinking with us, and we had a fun time getting drunk and getting to know each other.

It wasn’t long before he and I started to basically third-wheel my friend. I’ll never forget the moment we were sitting next to each other, across the table from my friend at a bar, and he put his hand on my knee. I had been flirting pretty heavily by then so his touch was electric. I slid his hand further up my thigh and by the time we left, we were groping each other right in between the legs (classy, I know). Because I was drunk I thought all of this had gone unnoticed by my friend but she later told me she saw all of it. Ha ha!

So at this point he and I know it’s going down, it’s just a matter of time. We all get in a cab together back to the hostel and manage to stay civilized in the cab and on the walk back. A few minutes later, we’re all in the hostel bathroom, brushing our teeth, and I hop in the shower. When I get out of the shower, he’s the only one in the bathroom. We just look at each other, and for the first time all night, I feel shy. He’s standing near the door and I start to walk towards the door, maintaining eye contact with him the whole time. When I get near him, he puts his arm on my waist, and in what felt like a millisecond, we were kissing passionately and the clothes were coming right off.

So because this isn’t an erotica blog I won’t get into the details but let me tell you something ladies: even as a sexually free Western woman who has had a handful of partners, I have never felt more like a goddess or more out of my mind with lust and pleasure than I did with this man. He checks off literally every fantasy that you dream about in a sexual partner – giving and sweet but also strong and passionate, adventurous and hungry but also considerate and gentle. It was, without a question, the best sex I’ve ever had. I still shiver thinking about it.

The next day, my friend left for her flight to Beijing, while my flight was booked for the late afternoon. I had originally planned on doing more sightseeing, but instead I spent the whole morning in his arms. Because we had more time and space to ourselves, it was more sensual and slow and loving than the night before. It was almost like we were in love and on our honeymoon. When the time came to head out, he saw me off to the airport and could not have been more of a gentleman. I think I saw an interview where Jocelyn said that Asian men take care of their women – girl, he TOOK CARE of me, in so many ways. Despite knowing him for so little time, saying goodbye to him really did make me sad, and I couldn’t stop thinking about him and wishing our time together wasn’t over.

Well, as it turns out, it wasn’t! We kept in touch while I was in China, and he told me I was welcome to visit him in South Korea anytime. I wasn’t sure if that was ever going to happen, but as it turns out, our China plans were changing. My friend was initially planning to bring me along to meet the Chinese side of her family, but she’d had a change of heart, wanting to go alone since she wasn’t sure if she’d have another chance to see her grandparents. Voila – I had a few extra days in my itinerary, which she suggested I spend in Shanghai. But I had a better idea.

When I think of Seoul, I think of flesh and sweat and sighs of pleasure. The memory of his lips on mine, his hands on my body, still gives me goosebumps. We did do a lot of sightseeing together and he was the sweetest, most considerate traveling companion, but the sex and lust was just so out of this world that the regular stuff fades into the background. We still keep in touch as friends and his apartment is my No. 1 destination for the next time I go to Seoul.

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13 Replies to “Guest Post: When I Think of Seoul, I Think of Flesh and Sweat and Sighs of Pleasure”

  1. I think this woman gives off a vibe similar to Western ladies who are passionate about K-dramas and how that has shaped their view of Asian men….And at the same time, she provides some proof that repudiates the assumption (that seems to exist mainly within heavily secularized dating environments) that Asian males do not exude “sex appeal.” True, a lot of them are like that which lends credence to the view that it’s “perfectly valid” for White women not to find them, “sexually attractive.” But I do not think that applies to say, someone resembling Korean actor Jang Dang Geun, Chinese heartthrob Wallace Huo, or even a young Chow Young Fat….

    1. Haha, I’ve actually never watched a K-drama in my life, nor do I listen to k-pop or have any serious interest in Asian cultures. I’m about as white as it gets, and he was just a hottie I ran into, who happened to be Asian.

  2. In East and Southeast Asia, K-drama actors provide plenty of eye candy, that seems to rub off even with non-Asian ladies across the ocean who enjoy these type of shows….But indeed, it’s kind of refreshing to read an account that in my view, repudiates that old, tired narrative about how Asian guys seemingly cannot attract White girls and attribute that to some “sinister” connotation such as “racism.” Yup, a “hottie” is a “hottie” regardless of one’s ethnic/racial background….Even better when they can effectively communicate with the object of their affection!

  3. Haha, this is a great story! Usually with AMWF what you get is a romantic but bland story of how a relationship developed between an Asian man and a white woman. But your story here is one of raw sexual pleasure and spontaneity that makes the AMWF pairing seem cool. And AMWF can use a little more of cool in its public relations.

  4. Personally, I prefer heartwarming AMWF stories such as the post entitled “How My Husband Teaches Me About Grace” on “The Dutchinese Couple” blog….I really enjoy reading about demonstrations of love and empathy especially due to their capacity to inspire!

    1. Nasty Woman’s story is heartwarming to me. The problem with the kind of story that you refer to is that while it can be inspiring in its demonstration of genuine love and affection between two people, it’s pretty much all we get from AMWF couples and it reinforces the stereotype of Asian men being asexual by the apparent lack of sexual energy. What Nasty Woman has shown here is that Asian men can be an attractive proposition for white women (or any woman) not just because we’re nice, attentive, considerate or whatever but because we possess the raw sexual potency to arouse and induce mind-blowing pleasure.

  5. Being Filipino, and having lived in this country for decades, it was only when I came across this blog that I first learned of this so-called stereotypical notion of Asian males being “asexual” or “sexless.” Me thinks that this idea seems to reside mostly among relatively small numbers of people that I seldom interact with, in real life. In fact, not once have we ever discussed this topic with my Asian friends, whether in the United States or elsewhere because the idea is simply unthinkable. I am almost certain if I were to bring up the subject, people I know–both men and women, would think of it as being completely absurd.

  6. This is all so trashy and unnecessary. Just because the man is an Asian doesn’t elevate it to something else. This just goes to confirm that humanity is a lust machine and it strengthens the perception that western women are 随便

    1. Don’t you think you’re being unnecessarily critical of Nasty Woman? She has been very clear in pointing out that she doesn’t have an Asian fetish and she’s not one of those fangirls of Asian pop culture. She just met a guy who happened to be Asian and had the best sex of her life, which is totally cool.

      1. Just saying that there’s necessarily nothing wrong with being a “fangirl” of Asian pop culture, but “Omni’ does have a point, though….This just bolsters certain seemingly negative perceptions about Western women in ways that further degrade their image in the eyes of Asian males and others. Just look at the damage wrought by the widespread availability of hardcore porn….And I can even refer to the “stigma” attached to Philippine women being associated with the “mailorder bride” phenomenon, and how they resent being viewed within that context.

        1. There is nothing wrong with being sexually liberated and if Asian men have a negative view of Western women because of this then the problem lies with Asian men. Are you seriously suggesting that a woman shouldn’t have sex with a guy she finds attractive purely for pleasure? This is the kind of traditional patriarchal conception of what an ideal woman should be that could in fact make Asian men appear backward and thus less attractive.

          And let’s be clear here… We’re not talking about the porn industry or the mail order brides where women could be subjected to exploitation. We’re talking about a woman who has the agency to choose to bonk a guy simply because he’s hot.

          1. Well, the explosion in STD rates–especially here in the West has certainly not gone unnoticed–so tell me again about how great “sexual liberation” has been…lol Btw, I’ve around long enough to have observed how the AIDS epidemic decimated millions of lives, and nowadays, people are growing concerned about penicillin-resistant gonorrhea…A friend of mine at work, he was gay and sexually promiscuous, and now he’s gone….So I don’t think ranting about “male patriarchal conception” will prevent one from being infected. Incidentally, just to let you know, Asian guys who choose to steer clear of “sexually liberated” Western women do not consider their decision a “problem” because they know that they are not the ones putting their lives and futures, at risk…..Believe me, there are plenty of available decent, quality Asian women that are ideally suited for long-term, monogamous relationships.

  7. Unfortunately, that’s been a common perception for quite some time and it hampers the chances of “decent” women to find meaningful relationships when they are being viewed so unfavorably…..

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