Posted in China articles on Aug 30th, 2010
My Chinese inlaws raised a dog last summer that we came to love. But that dog’s pain, and ultimate demise, became a tough reminder that China — especially the countryside — has a different perspective on owning a dog.
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When John, my Chinese boyfriend, refused to eat my salad, that moment was a window into one major difference between our culinary cultures. In his village, nobody eats lettuce, unless it’s cooked.
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As a friend goes into quarantine, and the virus closes in on John’s hometown in the countryside, I had to learn how to live with the threat of SARS, everyday.
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Living at John’s home in China’s countryside was different than what I’d known — from showers to even the living room. But as I pondered the excesses of American life, I wondered — whose standard is right?
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I wondered why Er Ge — the second oldest brother of John, my Chinese boyfriend — was so painfully quiet. Learning his story was like a window into the pressures of young unmarried Chinese in the countryside.
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Even as I shot a photo of John’s family during Chinese New Year, I still didn’t see have the entire picture of his family — until I showed them pictures of my own.
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I never felt such a bitter cold until I went to my Chinese boyfriend’s countryside hometown for Chinese New Year — and discovered I was too embarrassed to ask for more warmth at night, afraid his parents would look down on me.
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I followed John, my Chinese boyfriend, and his two older brothers as they paid respects at their ancestor’s grave during Chinese New Year. As I stood aside and took pictures, I wondered just how close — or how far — I was from their family.
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I felt like an anachronism visiting my Chinese boyfriend’s countryside home for the first time, with everything so strange to me. Yet, I was surprised to discover an unusual gesture his parents made, to make me feel welcome and comfortable.
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John’s ancestors come from the area near Huangshan — one of China’s most impressive mountains. But his family lives in a countryside ravaged by economic development. I see this first-hand when I visit during Chinese New Year, 2003.
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