Ask the Yangxifu: Chinese (and Asian) Interracial Wedding Dos and Don’ts

kissing my Chinese husband at our Chinese wedding
Tip #7 on my list? Have fun -- or, in our case, steal a kiss at your Chinese wedding. 😉

For those of you with a Chinese wedding in the works for the new year, this article — titled 7 Interracial Wedding Dos and Don’t for Your Asian Groom — is for you.

Published in the AMWW Magazine, this article, written with the Chinese/Asian men out there in mind, covers what you should keep in mind before you say “I do” to your lovely bride. Here’s an excerpt:

Once my Chinese boyfriend and I became engaged after a long courtship, visions of an interracial Asian wedding in his whitewashed, bucolic country home in China danced through my head. I longed to experience a traditional, intimate Asian wedding, just like his mother and grandmother had done years before. But with a personal twist — a Buddhist vegetarian banquet, prepared by a chef from one of my favorite vegetarian restaurants in Shanghai.

Little did I know, I would end up having a big, fat Asian wedding banquet in an urban hotel in China, with more than 200 guests and a menu of carnivorous delights, including a turtle standing on all four legs.

While this isn’t the usual Q&A I feature on regular Fridays, it does provide a lot of answers to any interracial or cross-cultural couple planning a Chinese wedding. To learn more, read the full article at AMWW Magazine.

P.S.: The Q&A will be back next week, promise. In the meantime, keep those questions coming in, and, as always, thanks for your support. 🙂


Do you have a question about life, dating, marriage and family in China/Chinese culture (or Western culture)? Every Friday, I answer questions on my blog. Send me your question today.

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6 Replies to “Ask the Yangxifu: Chinese (and Asian) Interracial Wedding Dos and Don’ts”

  1. You know, I am most EXCITED about getting those awesome Chinese photo albums done! Did you get one of these?? Looks fun to parade around town, all the famous sites, photos, makeup, and different costumes and dresses. Also stoked for being able to rent like 10 luxury cars for the wedding party. How did you budget for your family to come to China for the wedding? How many family members were able to make it? I think I want to have Chinese and Canadian weddings… Guess I will have to get rich in the mean time. Thanks for the post – emailed it to my boyfriend as soon as I read it!

  2. I saw my Chinese wedding depicted in that article, and in the excerpt you chose as well. I also ended up marrying in a hotel packed with relatives and friends and thousands of dishes (turtles as well).

    The star of our wedding was our baby, who was 10 months old when we married. I got to wear only one dress (Chinese style) and undid the terrible hairdo the hairdresser had made up for me that morning, and English braided it. I like things simple.

    The worst thing for me was, no doubt, the clouds of smoke during the wedding. I hate that having-to-smoke-and-drink thing.

    And the wedding photos? Oh, my, I got to feel like a princess and like a puppet at the same time.

    Keep up the great work!

    1. @Dora, thanks for the comment. Yes, I did get a photo album done, but we mostly had more candid photos taken during the day and the ceremony, so ours is a little different — a combo of studio and a lot of candid. But it was a lot of fun.

      You know, most of my family simply could not make it. I wish I could have had the budget to bring more of them over, but it didn’t happen. In the end, my father and my uncle came, and I was very grateful for their presence.

      @Aorijia, thanks for commenting! Wow, no doubt that baby became the star of the wedding. It’s nice to hear that I wasn’t alone in having a wedding that didn’t live up to what I imagined in the beginning. I will say I was happy w/ the hair styling, but at least you finally got what you wanted after you re-braided it.

      The smoke is horrible. We fortunately had pretty good compliance on not smoking, except there was this one guy smoking during the ceremony who we asked not to, and he actually stopped.

      Ah princess and puppet in the photos…I know it all too well. 🙂

  3. My daughter married a Chinese man with an American wedding. 1 year later were going to NYC for a Chinese reception with his family. What does the attire need to be for the American parents and siblings?F

  4. Hey Nikki, thanks for the message. I would suggest dressing as if you were going to a more fancy restaurant — from my experience, the parents of the bride/groom would try to dress up for formal events, like a wedding reception. But I would also check with your daughter’s husband as to what the customs are for their family.

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