From the Archives: Posts on My Chinese Inlaws’ Marriage

My Chinese mother-in-law in the kitchen
My Chinese mother-in-law in the kitchen.

I spent much of the past week in bed, and unfortunately, much of this weekend as well. So I’m sending you to the archives this Monday so I can catch my breath and rest up a little.

Those of you new to this blog may have missed my posts on Chinese marriage, through the eyes of my mother-in-law and father-in-law. I spent the summer of 2011 living with them, and one outcome of that summer was my newfound understanding of their own marriage. Enjoy!

My Chinese Inlaws’ Not-So-Free Marriage. My Chinese father-in-law insisted that the new China included free choice in marriages. But it seemed like an illusion when he admitted he didn’t freely choose his bride.

The Four Big Items For My Chinese In-laws’ Marriage. When my Chinese inlaws married in 1971, the marriage must-haves were a bicycle, sewing machine, radio and wristwatch.

For My Chinese In-laws, Scolding is Love. I didn’t understand why my Chinese mother-in-law always argued with my Chinese father-in-law. But, according to my husband, maybe that’s their way of showing love.

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9 Replies to “From the Archives: Posts on My Chinese Inlaws’ Marriage”

  1. It is great idea to write about this. How often do we get insight into marriages of people on the other side of the world.

    I can’t wait to meet my boyfriends parents and learn a bit about Korean marriages.

  2. You have to step your feet into someone’s shoes in order to understand, learn and respect their marriage. Bystanders are the ones who will never ever understand sitting around just criticizing. You haven’t been there before;therefore, you know nothing. I’ve been there and done that.

  3. oegukeen, Koreans in general have very bad temper. I’ve watched quite a few Korean dramas with English subtitles and I’ve seen in many occasions where an angry woman slaps her daughter-in-law around or a man beats his son with a stick. In one drama about modeling (I think it’s called “Models”), a group of models both male and female were asked to kneel and the head of the modeling agency beat their butts with a stick. It’s odd that they show this kind of violence on TV. If you don’t believe me, go check it out.

  4. Great post, Jocelyn. I am learning more and more about the Chinese people. Soon I will be ready to date a Chinese girl with so much knowledge acquired from your site.

  5. Scolding is love actually reminds me of my grandparents’ generation (I’m from Europe) – I guess you’d have to rename it “nagging is love” though. My grandma used to go on how my grandpa’s belly was too big and that therefore he should stop eating chocolate (no, not his diabetes was the reason she wanted him to stop eating chocolate). Now that he’s been gone for a few years, my mother half jokingly suggested she finds somebody else so she won’t have to feel so lonely, but my grandma insists that grandpa was the only guy she would ever look at.

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