“Justin” wrote to me to say, “Many of the past posts in this category have featured Chinese men running away and dropping all contact. Let’s just say that the reverse happens as well, and can cause just as much heartache.”
Then he told me his own story of falling in love with an incredible Western woman he met while on a holiday in Thailand — who later slipped away from him inexplicably — and offered permission to share it with you. Thanks to Justin for this contribution!
A while back I was working in a medical mission in Thailand when I met a wonderful person. I was using a long weekend holiday to take a trek tour through Northern Thailand, and she was part of the same tour group.
We didn’t talk much the first day. But on the second day, after our group paused to rest by a waterfall, we both went swimming and then chatted on the banks of the river for hours. We talked about everything – pop culture, interests, hobbies, life goals, adventure travel, past relationships. It was a real heart-to-heart about many deep and intense subjects. It wasn’t all serious though as we both peppered each other with jokes. After that point I realized that not only was she stunningly beautiful, but also amazingly compatible in terms of mindset, personality, and interests, more than anyone I had ever met before. I thought that truly someone with such a fun-loving adventurous nature and purity of spirit could only come around once in a blue moon. Thus, even though we had a significant age gap (seven years), were separated by 13 hours of flight time, and were unlikely to be able to move together anytime soon, I resolved to make my best attempt at romance because you never want to live life with regrets, right?
That night, by the campfire, after everyone had gone to sleep, I wrapped my arms around her waist, pulled her in close, and nuzzled her cheek. She was a bit hesitant but didn’t pull away, so we ended up kissing. She freaked out a little and broke the kiss, and then dragged me away to the bunks to sleep (separately of course). I was a bit dejected but understood — she was only interested in being friends and had never thought of me as a potential partner. I had either failed to make a strong enough connection with the conversation or failed to stir her passion with the kiss.
In the middle of the night, I awoke groggily to what I thought was her shaking my feet, and then her saying, “I’m going down to the river bank to watch [the tour guide] fish.” I tried to go back to sleep not knowing if I had dreamed that sequence or not, but couldn’t. I was struck with worry about her. So I got out of bed and climbed down the steps to the river bank with just slippers and the light of my cellphone as a torch. I saw her at the edge of the river watching our guide fish. I caught up and after he left, rounded on her with my worries. She was surprised, but this incident caused us to reconcile. We spent the rest of the night watching the fishing, secretly holding hands and stealing kisses when out of sight.
Unfortunately the next day we had to part, which we did with a hug. We exchanged contact information and promised to stay in touch and try to develop a relationship. Surprisingly, a few days later, I received an email from her saying that she was flying back to my city for another few days. I was overjoyed and we made arrangements to hike up to a nearby mountain and watch a concert that night. Our chemistry was just as electric as the first time, conversation just as stimulating, and kisses as passionate. Though it was just a short time, I was falling hard for her and was definitely envisioning a future with plenty more similar adventures with her.
After she went back to her country, we kept up with the emails every day. I structured my vacation time for the next year around planned trips to Croatia and Costa Rica with her. After a month or so though, I could see her interest begin to flag as her responses became less detailed and more tardy. That was until one day when she stopped replying completely. I sent a follow up email several weeks later but she also did not reply. For some incredibly unsatisfying reason, she decided to end contact completely.
In retrospect, it could have been that I was too aggressive with my interest level and scared her off. Alternatively, she may have just seen me as a fling and never intended to have anything serious, lost interest, or found a boyfriend in her own country. The sad part is that I will never know the real answer, and our plans of an amazing life together were dashed completely. But it is as they say – life and love can’t always have happy endings.
We’re looking for a few good stories from Chinese men and Western women in love — or out of love — to share on Fridays. Submit your original story or a published blog post today.