Guest Post: To the Chinese Girl Who Fell in Love with My Black Ken Doll

What would you say to the next person who fell in love with your ex? Here’s a letter from an anonymous woman to the Chinese girl who fell for a guy she calls her “Black Ken Doll”.

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(Photo by Sean Rainer via
(Photo by Sean Rainer via

Was it his contagious smile that got you? Or did you fall for his tall and lean muscular black frame?  For me it was his smile. I met him in my friend’s living room when I was nineteen and I couldn’t get his smile out of my mind that entire day. If it were his body, I don’t blame you, I fell for that as well. You should have seen him when he use to run track and field in his early college years. I swear his feet were on fire! So I don’t need to paint the imaginary picture of his figure since you’ve already seen him naked. He looked like a black Greek God. He always looked like that. We became best friends instantly.

You see, we have more in common than you may think: We have great taste in Men.

When we became friends he was in a relationship as well, and he praised his current girlfriend every chance he got. I remember thinking I would love more than anything for a man to love me unconditionally and put me first like that. Years later, that dream came true. My black Ken Doll went from being best friend to becoming my lover. He was my first everything.

I can’t really blame you for falling for my Black Ken. It was probably uncontrollable. It was like this for me. Thank you for taking care of him when I couldn’t. I was oblivious to how much he needed me to adjust to the culture of China. Thank you for listening to his worries and problems when my ears were closed. Thank you for seeing the lonesomeness in his eyes for a woman’s touch when my eyes were closed.

I don’t know what the future holds since he may now be yours or another’s.

If he does become yours, you will be a very lucky girl.

You should know that he guards his heart like a hawk and hides behind his sense of humor.

When he pushes you away, push forward even harder.

You should know he’s not into glamour so a simple dress with a ponytail and flats will due for him.

He loves running his hands through long straight hair. Although he would never admit that to me. I always wear my hair in braids so he didn’t get to do much of that in our five years relationship.

Do not try to make him jealous with other men! You will push him away.

When he gets angry do not try to confront or calm him down. It will get worse.

When he calms down he’ll come to you I promise.

I wish I could tell you more about my Black Ken Doll. But some things are better left unsaid. For you will see them as you get to know him.

My only wish as I finish this letter is for him to be happy. Thus if you’re prepared to take over after me, you should know that I raised that bar high and I wish you the best of luck trying to erase me out of his heart.

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One Reply to “Guest Post: To the Chinese Girl Who Fell in Love with My Black Ken Doll”

  1. Great to know there’re still brave people out there challenging racial barriers in an increasingly bigoted world.

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