Should you stay abroad with your Chinese spouse? I share with one reader our reasons for returning to China someday.
To Stay or Not asks:
I am an American woman who just married a Chinese man, and am so excited to find your site! We are planning on coming back to the US so he can go to graduate school. I know your husband is currently in school in the US, and you wrote somewhere you both plan to return to China. Could you tell me why you won’t stay in the US? I would like to know, because I sometimes wonder if staying in the US is right for us. Xie xie!Continue reading “Ask the Yangxifu: Why We Won’t Stay in the US”
Some Western women who love Chinese men can blog too. Let’s celebrate these unique voices on the web!
(NOTE: For the most up-to-date list of these blogs, read my 2018 update of this list)
March is women’s history month, and just last week, March 8 was international women’s day. As we remember the women who make a difference in our world, there’s one minority voice we shouldn’t forget — the Western women who love Chinese men.
China blogs are still a man’s world, so our voices are often lost in the comments and trackbacks. But Western women who love Chinese men have a unique perspective to a woman’s experience in China — which makes their blogs even more valuable in the blogsphere. Here’s my list, in alphabetical order (according to the blog’s name). Continue reading “China Blogs by Western Women who Love Chinese Men”
How do you know if a Chinese man wants to date you -- or is dating you?
Anonymous asks:
I am an American female and began an international graduate program this January here in the US. Most of my classmates are foreign and I’ve gotten the attention from a Chinese male. There is a good chance our relationship is going to blossom, so I have a few questions for you.
At first, it didn’t dawn on me that he was interested, so he stepped it up a notch. He started waiting for me after class, sitting near me in class and initiating conversations. We have spent some time together outside of class. Our most recent encounter was a trip to the movies, where he picked me up and got a chance to meet my grandfather (he was very excited to meet Grandpa). He is currently on a trip for spring break and has phoned me a few times.
Here is the kicker and where my questions come in. He is very indirect. While I’m 99% sure he is courting me, he has never expressed in words his desire to date me (although it is still early). Should I wait for him to initiate that conversation? Additionally, he asks questions in a very indirect manner. For example, instead of asking if he can walk walk with me to the library, he asks where I am going next… I think it is a combination of his culture combined with being male haha. His English is also very choppy, so we have a communication barrier. I do not speak or read Chinese at all.
His indirectness combined with limited knowledge of the English language is difficult for me to understand his intentions at times (especially when he is hinting that he’d like to get together). I am an outgoing and honest person, so it’s difficult for me to know how to react to him. He is also very introverted and independent, kind of a homebody.
I guess I’m writing you for some advice. I don’t want to be too forward by asking him direct questions or disclose too much information that may turn him off. My instincts are telling me to find the balance between expressing interest and letting things happen naturally. I don’t know him well enough yet to know how I feel about him, but so far he’s caught my attention. Any advice/suggestions would be helpful.Continue reading “Ask the Yangxifu: Indirect Dating and Chinese Men”
Are Chinese men generally attracted to Western women? Are they representative of Chinese men in general?
Is there anything culturally unique about the psychology of Chinese men, as a group, that Western women should be aware of?
How are dating etiquette and customs different in China in regard to men than in the States?
What is the best way to find English-speaking Chinese men?
What are Chinese men looking for in a wife?
What are the advantages of having a Chinese husband in China?
What are some common problems Western women face with a Chinese husband?
A big thanks to Susan, Melanie and Jessica (who put up with my copious e-mails and crazy requests for things like photos)! Your voices truly made this a valuable piece.
Considering a move to China with your Chinese spouse or loved one? Here’s what you should think about first.
Anonymous asks:
The reason I am writing is — why did you not stay and live in China? My Chinese wife says if there is any problem with her actually coming to my home country, then I should come and live there…with her….
I know you are very busy, but if you could give me your impressions, about what I have asked, I would appreciate it.
———-
To move or not to move to China? It’s a dilemma that a lot of cross-cultural couples in China face.
We left China for one major reason — John’s education. Psychology graduate school is better in the US, so we moved here with the goal of getting him into a Ph.D program. The training and education he receives here will put him in a better position to fulfill his longtime dream (to create a “humanistic care center” in China). But, once he’s done, we plan to move back to China — permanently.
For many couples, the answer — and journey — is less obvious. Moving to China permanently is different than a year of teaching English, and poses new questions to a foreigner. Here are a number of issues you should consider before planting your feet in China’s good earth: Continue reading “Ask the Yangxifu: What To Consider Before Moving To China”
I’m a guy from China, really enjoy your blog, but am curious how you and your husband get along. Your from the US, he from China, so the culture and food are very different. I see few couples like yours, and don’t think I could ever marry a foreign woman because of the differences. Â How you can stay together well?
How can foreign women improve their chances to meet good Chinese men -- in China? (Pictured: my Chinese husband, John, sitting on the campus of Suzhou University)
Priscilla didn’t ask me anything. But after reading her February 12 opinion piece in the Global Times, titled “Chinese men: pull your weight”, I thought she needed some answers — especially when it comes to finding a good Chinese man. So I decided to pre-empt my scheduled Q&A this week, to help Priscilla.
Here’s an excerpt, where she discusses her interest in dating Chinese men — but lack of suitors:
One girl in a circle of friends decides to give a Chinese guy a chance and is shocked to discover, he’s pretty cool. The others also start testing the waters: flirting with that cute Chinese guy in a uniform, dancing with the tall one at the club, maybe even venturing to have a fling or two. And once the blinkers are lifted, ladies, you’ll discover that you are actually surrounded by attractive men.
But I am writing this as an enlightened foreign lady with several foreign lady friends and I can’t think of a single one who is dating a Chinese guy.
….one reason I can personally attest to is a lack of effort by Chinese men.
She ends the piece by exhorting all would-be Chinese suitors to “man-up” — be a real guy, and get the courage to ask Western women out.
How did I spend this Chinese New Year? As a host — along with my Chinese husband, John — for our university’s “Chinese Night” on Feb 13, 2010, here in the mountain West of the US. It’s not CCTV’s Spring Festival Party (perhaps, thankfully so!), but it’ll do. 😉
My Chinese husband, John, and I dressed in auspicious red silk to host our university’s Chinese New Year celebration.
I have a question about weddings. I am in my late twenties and recently engaged to my Chinese-American boyfriend,which I am really excited about.
But the wedding worries me. Initially I wanted a simple ceremony. I was raised Christian but he wasn’t, but I wouldn’t insist on a church. just maybe a simple ceremony then banquet with friends, some photos outdoors, etc. But when I suggested it to my boyfriend, he said his parents would never agree to it (his parents are from China), that they expect a big traditional Chinese wedding. I heard Chinese weddings can be very elaborate,exhausting with a lot of drinking, more than one dress,lots of guests etc. Seems overwhelming and not my style!! I haven’t brought it up in front of his parents but I feel kinda stuck now. I just really don’t want all this fuss and don’t understand why we cant make it simpler. I’m not sure I can survive a huge Chinese weddings. What should I do? Continue reading “Ask the Yangxifu: A Big, Fat, Traditional Chinese Wedding?”
This website uses cookies to improve your experience. We'll assume you're ok with this, but you can opt-out if you wish.AcceptRejectRead More
Privacy & Cookies Policy
Privacy Overview
This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. Out of these cookies, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. But opting out of some of these cookies may have an effect on your browsing experience.
Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. This category only includes cookies that ensures basic functionalities and security features of the website. These cookies do not store any personal information.
Any cookies that may not be particularly necessary for the website to function and is used specifically to collect user personal data via analytics, ads, other embedded contents are termed as non-necessary cookies. It is mandatory to procure user consent prior to running these cookies on your website.
Tony asks:
