"Rougan": How My Husband Helped Me Love My Curves | Speaking of China

40 Responses

  1. bruce
    bruce July 16, 2012 at 9:45 am | | Reply

    “I don’t know, but I’ll never let John go. He’s helped me realize that my “meat” can be seriously sexy — and I can’t wait until he crawls into bed with me tonight. ” sounds so funny , Jocelyn. Like I said before, I love women with curves. There is just something about curves . I love it.

  2. Sveta
    Sveta July 16, 2012 at 10:20 am | | Reply

    A few guys I was with only liked my breasts. (My Korean special friend included, ) I never heard them compliment or say anything else, although there’s a chance I could be wrong.

  3. butterfly
    butterfly July 16, 2012 at 10:33 am | | Reply

    I think some Chinese men like our curvy hips…

  4. airen
    airen July 16, 2012 at 10:36 am | | Reply

    丰满 is right words

  5. Dan
    Dan July 16, 2012 at 10:44 am | | Reply

    The opposites often attract. Western women got more curves.

  6. ordinary malaysian
    ordinary malaysian July 16, 2012 at 11:18 am | | Reply

    It is funny how the word rou “肉” (meat) and the word gan”感” (feel/sense) remind me of the English phrase “one man’s meat is another man’s poison”. LOL. But trust the Chinese to come up with the phrase 肉感 rougan to means sexy/voluptuous. As in 肉感的英文 ruogandeyingwen sexy/voluptuous English! But seriously, sexy/voluptuous or not is a perception of course often coloured by culture. In certain cultures as in the Polynesian, plumb is beautiful. But perception is not necessarily a uniform thing even within a particular culture. Ergo, everything works out fine between you and John whose perception of 肉感 is encouraging.

  7. bruce
    bruce July 16, 2012 at 5:11 pm | | Reply

    I like curves in the right places. You can touch and pinch voluptuous women;however, you can’t be too rough with skinny women. Just smoother and softer to feel the thighs, legs and butt 🙂 just everywhere 🙂 hahahah lol :). Maybe I’m just a big guy so I love voluptuous women or I like fitness so I like everything round!

  8. Bogdan
    Bogdan July 16, 2012 at 8:46 pm | | Reply

    i dont understand why most Chinese guys like skinny skinny girls..

  9. namenotgiven
    namenotgiven July 16, 2012 at 10:22 pm | | Reply

    John is definitely my hero!

    I grew up with a saying that is more or less prevalent in my culture. “Only a dog wants a bone.” Meaning that a curvy women is more desirable than one who isn’t.

  10. Sara
    Sara July 17, 2012 at 1:35 am | | Reply

    After reading this today, I asked my Chinese boyfriend about this word. I’m a beginner in Chinese, only having studied about 6 months so far, so I’m constantly texting him with a new word I come across in various places. When I asked him about this one, he was pretty happy and asked me where I heard it, because it describes me and he loves it, he says. I admit that when we first started going out a little under a year ago, I was insecure at first because although I’m short I’m not really skinny, and I’m certainly curvier in the thigh/hip/waist area than most Asian women, but he’s always told me he loves my body. I never knew there was a specific word for it until reading this, though. Thanks~

  11. ordinary malaysian
    ordinary malaysian July 17, 2012 at 9:25 am | | Reply

    Really, skinny or not, plump or not, curvy or not, if you are comfortable and your partner is comfortable, that’s all there is to it. How are we to say that skinny is it, or plump is it or curvy is it. A dog likes his bone, well, that what he likes and a cat likes his too bones too, although here it is a fish’s bones. That is not a problem. In fact, it becomes a problem when a cat likes a plump chicken haha for then you will have another enemy other the cobra to contend with in the coop. What I am saying is that to each his or her. 肉感 ROUGAN IS JUST THAT – how you feel. 感 gan is feel/sense and rou you know already. So no problem lah!

  12. Pamela
    Pamela July 17, 2012 at 9:34 am | | Reply

    I love John! LOL!!!
    I have to say that living in China redefined my concept of “skinny” and I feel kinda “big” compare to most girls…and boys… luckily my boyfriend is not that skinny…I would say that he looks like an average westerner..
    I did ask him,if he was ok with the fact that im not Chinese skinny..he just started laughing and asked me if I was ok with him not being “muscular” …
    he did explain that for Chinese being “fat” is consider a really bad thing, not that he had to explain anything, working with Chinese girls I often get advice like ” you should stop eating for a couple of weeks” my manager once told me,before she knew about my boyfriend ” if you want to marry a good chinese man you must be skinny” and “you are so beautiful…but fat” once she even touched my waist and said ” uugh…too much meat” … (-_-) no need to say how uncomfortable this situation is … and Im not even fat lol just curvier than Chinese … anyway … the point here is how we all like John even more now 🙂

  13. Dan
    Dan July 17, 2012 at 10:45 am | | Reply

    I was in a bar with a Chinese girl before. When it was time to order, she did not want beer, only a little wine. She said beer would make her fat. She was skinny already. As self-conscious as a lot of western girls are about weight, I love the fact we can always sit down have beer and a great time.

  14. SBC
    SBC July 17, 2012 at 3:41 pm | | Reply

    I think your husband is a hero… the kind of pressure most Asian women I know have for being skinny, is a bit ridiculous. Even normal shaped women who would be considered skinny elsewhere are constantly fretting about loosing weight or getting a tan…I can understand if one is sunbathing at 100 degrees on a beach, or really needs to loose weight. But most of these girls I know or came across are perfectly normal. But their ideal seems to be a stick thin long legged girl with no curves. And while I have nothing against women who look like 10 yr old boys, I guess some cultures value accepting ur bodies far less than others.

  15. Bruce
    Bruce July 17, 2012 at 6:43 pm | | Reply

    I know what everyone here is talking about skinny women. If you have curves in the right places to me is gorgerous/beautiful. Having your woman wearing tight shirt and pants/dress/skirt with curves, man it’s a turn on in a good way. nothing sexual but very sexy to me. Men are very visual.Of course , if you fall in love with a skinny, wonderful woman then you have to accept her but eventually she will gain some fat later on. Skinny women can have curves in the right places also. When you reach 40 yrs old , everything will go down so enjoy your curvy body while you can :).

  16. Julie
    Julie July 17, 2012 at 9:05 pm | | Reply

    I have also found there is a whole segment of the Chinese male population breaking with the traditional desired standard for beauty…my boyfriend loooves my big butt and can’t keep his hands off the curves that I have.

  17. cvaguy
    cvaguy July 17, 2012 at 9:14 pm | | Reply

    I like athlelic type of woman and hence athletic body type. Not so much skinny type. It is the active life style that is really appealing. One can be curvy but couch patato life style will make one over weight down the road. The active life style will maintain shape over time. The associated displine also shows strong mind at work. Only the strong willed can put the cookie down and keep the routine up.

    I never understand why people want to get tan on purpose. Tan is the side effect of sun burn in my opinion. Exposing to too much UV will lead to skin problem. And I just don’t see any correlation between losing weight and sunbathing.

  18. Claire
    Claire July 18, 2012 at 1:01 am | | Reply

    People get so hung up on how much they weigh but if you exercise regularly you can weigh more and appear slimmer – it should be about body shape than the number on the scales. The only downside to exercise (or upside, depending on how you look at it) is that you tend to want to eat more haha.

    I have to say that I don’t like to see really skinny women or men myself, when I see super skinny legs it makes me feel a big queasy because I think they look like they’re going to snap!

    Like someone mentioned earlier, I think Chinese men may be curious about curvier women because it is not the norm in China. Opposites do attract.

  19. Aussie Surfer Chick
    Aussie Surfer Chick July 18, 2012 at 4:35 am | | Reply

    I recall one Chinese guy telling me (Australian surfer chick) that he’d like to “fluck me like a flying tiger”. He didn’t get lucky, but I was rather flattered.

  20. Cvaguy
    Cvaguy July 18, 2012 at 4:56 am | | Reply

    @Claire – Agree that body shape is better measure than weight. By “overweight”, I mean to apply to those who have extra body fat, the same expression of “big bone”.
    I also mentioned active lifestyle instead of exercise, because active lifestyle including more than just exercise. It can be gardening, cleaning, oranizing, etc. If you are active in drawing and spend time on it regularly, you have less chance to gain fat than those who sit on couch watching tv all day.

  21. Kedai
    Kedai July 18, 2012 at 7:57 am | | Reply

    @Bogdan

    Do you have statistics to back your claim up, or are you just speaking from personal experience of rejections?

  22. 丁杰
    丁杰 July 18, 2012 at 10:08 am | | Reply

    Southern boys like Southern girls like thin high and handsome Indeed, Chinese people like a thin girl :::::Chinese men like girls 1 Kind-hearted Clever 2 Appearance 3 body weight 50KG to 60KG 4 Height 158CM to 170CM Do not make-up natural GIRL
    …..

  23. Dan
    Dan July 18, 2012 at 12:12 pm | | Reply

    I saw plenty of Asian girls hit gyms too. I am not sure the athletic type is all there is. It eventually comes down to personality. Western girls are raised to be more confident and independent. Asians girls with slim body types still won’t feel secure. Beauty is in the eyes of beholder. I know that is how western guys attract to smaller Asian girls too. Your body will need to be alive with right personality.

    On average you won’t meet a lot of bigger and tall Asian guys. Same goes to Asian women with curves.

  24. bruce
    bruce July 18, 2012 at 4:02 pm | | Reply

    Voluptuous women are just softer to hold and look sexy with more curves sticking out when they wear tight clothes. I like some meat on my woman. Just look very sexy with some cleavage. Yes, you combine your personality with your voluptuous body and you will know how people will react. Like I said before, at the end people will admire/like you on your personality and the body is just secondary or icing on the cake. Nothing more or less. Men like me will not only look at the body but we look at personality,intelligence and respect in our women. Having a voluptuous body is wonderful but is not the whole picture about a woman.

    Bruce

  25. james
    james July 18, 2012 at 4:37 pm | | Reply

    @Aussie surfer chick ,
    my english has improved since, what are my chances now?

  26. 丁杰
    丁杰 July 19, 2012 at 12:18 am | | Reply

    Harbin, Dalian, Qingdao, Yantai, Girls, most of the 165cm-175CM So the city boy like high girls

  27. 丁杰
    丁杰 July 19, 2012 at 12:20 am | | Reply

    Qingdao, Yantai, Dalian, Harbin, female high school students most of the 165CM to 175CM So these boys like tall girls

  28. namenotgiven
    namenotgiven July 19, 2012 at 10:12 pm | | Reply

    @ Aussie Surfer Chick
    “fluck me like a flying tiger”
    I cannot stop laughing!

  29. Naomi
    Naomi July 20, 2012 at 9:26 am | | Reply

    Thin really is relative–one of my former students told me that Hollywood actresses were pretty but fat. Yikes! I was discussing this with a Chinese friend, who agreed and said that many Chinese prefer to see a girl with a concave stomach and visible bones, really Auschwitz-type thin.

    I work in a fashion company, and it’s so funny because every day the girls greet each other with: Am I thinner today? Have I gained weight? Surprisingly, no one has made any comments about me, even though I could stand to lose a few.

  30. Bruce
    Bruce July 20, 2012 at 9:32 am | | Reply

    “fluck me like a flying tiger”
    I cannot stop laughing!”

    Sometimes, you just have to do it like that! 🙂 hahahahha lol. Just do it :)…It’s fun 🙂

  31. Lex
    Lex July 21, 2012 at 8:48 pm | | Reply

    I have the opposite problem. I am naturally very thin and most men I encounter tell me I am too thin for them. This includes the Chinese guy I am seeing. I am starting to think a lack of curves is far less desirable. All women gain weight differently. My weight doesn’t go to my chest anyways. It was estimated in a study that only 8% of women have an hourglass figure naturally in the US.

  32. 丁杰
    丁杰 July 22, 2012 at 12:00 am | | Reply

    @Lex ……….>>>>>>.Your weight and height … But most Chinese people like to lean This is true

  33. mira
    mira July 23, 2012 at 7:26 pm | | Reply

    There is so much pressure on a moman to be thin especially in China because thin = beauty, acceptance and is some cases better prospects. I have a number of Chinese girlfriends who are smart, beautiful, modern and intelligent but who all crumble when it comes to weight. Nor one of them is happy in the way she looks and all wish they were thinner ( they are all thin and healthy). I have one friend who when ever we meet asks me “have I put on weight?” This is always her first question to me. I am sad to see such a wonderful and intelligent woman feel that her body weight dictates who she is and what she is. I applaud all you men who love and appreciate the curves in their wives and girlfriends .

  34. cvaguy
    cvaguy July 23, 2012 at 8:46 pm | | Reply

    I saw a skinny white woman today on the street. She has a cute pretty face but it was such a turn off the moment I saw her skinny leg. No offense, it just reminds me the concentration camp prison…

  35. Shannon
    Shannon August 24, 2012 at 1:08 pm | | Reply

    My boyfriend told me he loves that I am fleshy too. He really dislikes how skinny women make themselves. He grew up in the 70’s & 80’s in China when everyone was too thin from lack of food and nutrition. He too was too skinny in those days. So he finds it sad that women, and sometimes men, purposely make themselves thin.

  36. NES
    NES January 20, 2014 at 1:37 pm | | Reply

    With all due respect, women are dumb about their own bodies. Only other women and men who aren’t attracted to women think that the bag-of-bones, skinny waif runway models look pretty. We men, real men, love wide hips, round bottoms, and an hour glass figure. It’s hard-wired into us genetically since those kinds of bodies are better for producing, bearing, and sustaining offspring. I know it doesn’t sound very romantic, but don’t worry. We aren’t thinking, “Wow! She could produce healthy babies!” We’re too simple and stupid for that when it comes to women. Whatever the reason, we like what we see and can’t help but to want to grab your flesh and run our hands along the curves of your hips. Now shut up and kiss me! 😉 😛

  37. Sarah Lin
    Sarah Lin July 22, 2014 at 4:10 am | | Reply

    Hey, my hubby is chinese and also loves my shape….I would be more “large” or “plus sized” as apposed to voluptuous and my hubby’s friends just don’t get why he’d want a larger lady, they all like stick insects haha he just tells them “u don’t know what ur ignorance is causing u to miss out on, she’s a wonderful woman, every bit”…..so John u ain’t alone, u got a brother from fujian over here haha

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