My husband shared with me an article published on the Beimei Liuxuesheng Ribao (The North American Overseas Student Daily) here in China — and it happened to be about a topic dear to my heart. Why do so few Chinese men end up with white women? But this time, from a Chinese perspective. They widen their exploration to consider the rarity of Asian men and white women together, and while their conclusions are mostly what you might expect, there are some surprises along the way.
Below is my translation of the original piece in Chinese. In a few areas, I’ve added my own comments as well as relevant links to cited materials and topics. The piece also includes some links to Amazon, where your purchases help support this blog.
Also please note the following credit for the featured photo up top, first seen in the post 9 Powerful ‘AMWF Superman’ Photos to ‘Save’ Your Day: (Photo by Ana Hudson (WhiteChocolatePlayer), featuring Justin Zhang (IG: NoobStrength) and Angelina (IG: musicloveandlies))
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Whenever walking through Beijing’s most international Sanlitun area, from time to time you will see “yellow and white pairs” – foreign men and Chinese women together as couples. But there’s another kind of “yellow and white pair” – couples of white women and Chinese men, which are extremely rare to see.
Those who are good at analyzing the inherent ethnic flaws of Chinese people will more or less have seen or heard something like this. There are people who believe Chinese women have a “white” allegiance and throw themselves at these foreign men, characterizing them as the very “easy girls” foreigners say they are.
There are also those who believe the problem is with Chinese men. Shanghai Academy of Social Sciences Professor Zhang Jiehai published the results of his own Survey of Chinese Men and directly gave Chinese men a “death penalty”: suffering from a collective mental impotence. Foreign women don’t look for Chinese men because the men lack confidence, and this however was “the result of China’s backwardness over the past century, because of ceding territory and losing money.” The analysis of Chinese-foreign differences had a master key. Anything, as long as it was backward, was because of inherent ethnic flaws; and these inherent ethnic flaws could all be traced back to the late Qing Dynasty.
The truth is what people see – that there are many more pairs of white foreign men and Chinese women, and very rarely do Chinese men get together with white European or American women. But you cannot merely blame this on Chinese men. In all of Asia, especially East Asia, it’s rare to see the men paired with white European or American women.
Asian men – at the bottom of the food chain
Overall, the ratio of Asian women and white men together is much higher than Asian men and white women.
According to the 2012 Pew survey on interracial marriage, in 2010 in the US, some 36 percent of newly married Asian women had spouses of another race, compared to 17 percent of Asian men.
But this was the opposite for African American men – 24 percent of the men were married to spouses of another race, compared to only 9 percent of the women. For white and Hispanic people, the situation was not that different.
In the dating market, for Asian men it’s even crueler. The online dating site OKCupid found that Asian women were the only group that all men (Asian, white, black, Hispanic) considered attractive at a rate that was higher than average – not even white women reached that level of popularity. Meanwhile, Asian men were rated far lower than the average by all other races, except for Asian women.
The OKCupid data also gave this kind of result – that men who weren’t black didn’t like black women. The racial preferences of black men weren’t obvious, and all women liked men of their own race. Relatively speaking, women were less attracted to Asian men and black men. Black men and Asian men were at the bottom of the marriage food chain.
Data from another dating app called Are You Interested found similar results. Except for black women, nearly all women flocked to white men. While when it came to women, Asian women were most popular.
So, when it comes to interracial marriage, white men and Asian women are the most common pairing. Both stand at the top of the marriage and love food chain. In the interracial dating marriage market, Asian men are most thoroughly a case where “women are superior to men”.
This phenomenon of the women marrying other races more than the men is almost peculiar to Asians. Even men from Korea and Japan, developed countries with living standards and educated populations, cannot overcome whites. What is it that caused such a great divide between Asian men and women?
Is it that from the perspective of other races, Asian men are not attractive enough? Research by Cardiff University in the UK found that, among whites, blacks and Asians, Asian men were considered the least attractive, with a rating of 3.781 (a perfect score was 10). But the study also found that Asian women were considered the best looking group, with a rating of 5.511, higher than the 5.065 for white women and the 4.720 for black women.
The sex appeal of Asian women has been called “yellow fever” (a term that originally referred to a disease). The Chinese American playwright David Henry Hwang’s “M. Butterfly” proposed this for the first time. And Asian women also flock to Western men. William Somerset Maugham wrote in “The Moon and Sixpence” that “You know what these girls are; they’re always pleased to go with a white man.” This phenomenon has been named the “Pinkerton Syndrome”, and is also called Madame Butterfly Syndrome, borrowing its name from the opera “Madame Butterfly”. [Jocelyn’s note: it’s important to recognize that the Asian fetish has a negative effect on Asian women in particular, and that Asian women can face harsh and unfair judgment in interracial dating.]
While both are Asian, why is it that Asian men are at the bottom of the dating food chain, while Asian women are at the top? Perhaps through the typical images of Asian men in Western movies and TV, we can see some underlying reasons.
What’s the use of studying well?
What’s the use of studying well?Before the 1960s, evil like Fu Manchu and emasculated like Charlie Chan were the typical images of Asian men that thrived on screens big and small. But since the 1960s, against the backdrop of counterculture and civil rights movements in Europe and America, the images of Asian men became more diverse. On one side of the equation you had evil, crafty, emasculated and low-status Asian men; on the other were smart, studious, high-achieving and increasingly “model minority” examples.
But this high-achieving attribute did not make Asian men more attractive. At best, they’re high achievers; at worst, nerds without social skills who have strange behavior and never talk. Even in countries that value education like China, it’s hard for nerds to find a partner, let alone in the United States of America.
Today, the images of Asian men in mainstream Western culture have become more abundant, but they tend to stick to only a few types. They can do kungfu (like Bruce Lee, Jackie Chan or Jet Li), they’re pedantic (like Charlie Chan), they’re high achievers (as seen on almost any American university), their role is the punchline of the series (like the Korean boss in “Two Broke Girls”). These roles might on some level inspire admiration, but they are entirely without sex appeal.
In fact, the dominant images of Asian men in American media are not sexual roles. Research has found that Asian American men on the screen are only 25 percent as likely to have a romantic or family relationship as other races, overall portraying Asian American men as “asexual”. Even the most masculine martial arts stars are usually only responsible for those hand-to-hand fights among men, and sex scenes are rare for them.
For example, in the American movie “Romeo Must Die,” the film originally had the American female lead Aaliyah kiss the male lead played by Jet Li. But during a screen test, audiences were really not used to it. So the film company changed the ending, having Aaliyah and Jet Li hug. In discussing “The Slanted Screen,” the documentary about the portrayals of Asian Americans on the screen, its director said, “Mainstream America, for the most part, gets uncomfortable with seeing an Asian man portrayed in a sexual light.”
This may have something to do with the perceived lack of masculinity among Asian American men. The earliest Asians in America, particularly Chinese immigrants, were more engaged in washing clothes, caring for children and cooking, business pursuits considered more feminine. Add to that short stature and wearing a long braid, which was very unpopular in mainstream society. This perceived effeminate character has continued to the present without much change. Even Asian actors with outstanding capabilities such as Bruce Lee and Jackie Chan are only permitted to be “hired fighters”, where there’s no opportunity for romance.
At the moment, Asian men are mainly portrayed in mainstream America as idiotic nerds or as someone with eccentric behavior meant for comic relief. Although this is a significant improvement over the 1st half of the 20th century with its “evil Fu Manchu”, it’s nevertheless still not that likeable. For example, Asian men play characters that are meant to be laughed at. Consider Han Lee, the short boss who owns the diner in “Two Broke Girls”, the gay Asian boss in “The Dictator” who screwed Edward Norton, Leslie Chow in “The Hangover”, or the Asian man in the US version of “The Office”.
Asian men like that could hardly meet the European or American women’s standard for guys – a fully masculine “Marlboro Man”. Think of how odd it would be for an Asian man to dress up as a Western cowboy, while a black man or a latino could surely pass. [Jocelyn’s note: Actually, an Asian man, Lee Byung-hun, did star as a Western cowboy in the movie “The Magnificent Seven“.]
Demand determines supply, and there’s such a small number of Asian American actors playing a narrow range of characters because audiences don’t accept them. Popular entertainers in Europe and America are also popular in Asia, while Asian entertainers rarely make it big in Europe or America. If you were asked within five seconds to name an Asian male star in the American and European entertainment industry, most people would be tongue-tied.
There are some TV shows and movies that include love affairs between Asian men and white women. Chinese people are most familiar with Tony Leung Ka-fai and Jane March in “The Lover,” and Chow Yun Fat and Jody Foster in “Anna and the King”. But when Annaud, the director of “The Lover”, was selecting the male lead, he experienced some difficulties. As there was no one who could meet the requirements among Hollywood’s Asian actors, who mainly played bit parts and had difficulty conveying the emotional drama of the character, after much struggle the actor settled on Hong Kong actor Tony Leung Ka-fai.
Asian women are the most likeable
Research has found that the image of Asian Americans is overall perceived as more feminine. This has impacted Asian men, where “at best they’re an effeminate queen of the deep, like Charlie Chan; at worst, they’re a homosexual threat like Fu Manchu.” But at the same time this has benefited Asian women. As America’s “model minority”, this perceived subservience, kindness and loyalty are considered good qualities for women. [Jocelyn’s note: However, these stereotypes have negatively impacted Asian women, so this isn’t really a benefit.]
In addition, Asian women are thought to be mysterious and exotic. The famous opera “Madame Butterfly” fully satisfied the fantasies of white people about Asian women. Butterfly is a Japanese geisha who meets the American military officer named Pinkerton stationed in Japan and falls in love with him. Even after Pinkerton returns to his country, Butterfly still deeply loves him and believes that he will return. Finally Pinkerton returns to Japan but brings with him his American wife. Upon learning the truth Butterfly committed suicide — thus Asian women are subservient, kind, loyal and full of Eastern character. “Madame Butterfly” was later adapted to “Miss Saigon” — the story and background was moved from Japan to Vietnam, but the essence of the story remained the same.
In addition to being perceived as submissive, Asian women have a fortitude and sex appeal that is considered rare among Asian men. For example, there’s Lucy Liu’s role in the 1997 to 2002 American TV series “Ally McBeal”, Maggie Q’s lead role in the 2010 to 2013 TV series “Nikita”, or even Lucy Liu’s main role as a female Watson in the TV series “Elementary”. These characters have not only the excellent qualities attributed to Asian people, but also a sex appeal that Westerners prefer.
Of course, Asian men at the bottom of the marriage food chain need not worry too much. When it comes to choosing a mate, Asian women first consider their own men. [Jocelyn’s note: as the 2008 study Racial Preferences in Dating: Evidence from a Speed Dating Experiment noted, “women of all races exhibit strong same-race preferences”. See also the NYTimes article, highlighting that more Asian-Americans are dating within their race.]
Then again, if you really want to win the hearts of foreign women, take a look at movies like “The Lover” and “Anna and the King” with Asian men paired with white women, and you will realize a truth: as long as you have money, the color of your skin isn’t a problem anymore.
What do you think of this piece?
It seems that the males in China should have a higher probability of being accepted by foreign females than within other western countries. In discussion with some former white military males stationed in Asian countries, my former white roommate’s 3-month sojourn in the Micronesian island of Kawjalein, and my own observation in Hawaii, minority whites “transplants” do gradually change their points of view of those non-white majority natives in due time. At first, they would say “no way in h-ll. They are not attractive!!”, then, they gradually see them as less “Martian” like, and then they do find them attractive and willing to socialize with them. May be mother nature helps some in the fact that the need of opposite sex companionship kicks in more drastically after a longer while and that blurs out the glaring racial/cultural differences? Within the western countries, there are enough white males around whereby the white females don’t have to consider different racial partners .
It would be very interesting to hear from other white ladies who view Jocelyn’s blog on their own experience with this social acclimation.
Chinese men are hot. We simply dont meet/see them often. Also you need to be a person intrested in other countrys/cultures/people to see them.
I watch chinese shows sometimes and the men there are different but very handsome. I think they are not feminine but simply different kind of masculine.
I think men in good shape who keep themselves up good hygiene and overall care about their appearance are always looked at well. I definately dont see Asian men ranking lower. Like all races some ppl are just more attractive. I have seen Asian men you would definately give a 2cnd look passing by. I think saying they are lesser than any other race is wrong. I’m white and would give all of the races the same.. evaluation. Not everyone is anything other than average, but then we also have many of every race who stand out. Its human nature to be attracted to your own race, but Asian men & women, are beautiful and unique. And that does attract all others stop watching to perceived idiots.on TV.. Its horrible to even research garbage. Many goodl looking Asians as well as others .
I can’t generalize for all Asian males in the world but I can say this for me and all the other blue-collar Asian men that I work with…We are just overworked, overstressed and busier than hell. All the guys I work with don’t even have time to THINK about relationships, much less pursue one. Me, I work 60 hours a week plus overtime, come home reeking of diesel fuel and covered in warehouse dust and on days when I finally get one day off, all I can do is get stoned drunk or perked out on painkillers since I’d be aching all over. All the guys I work with, all the guys at the other supply depots I deliver to, and all the other guys I meet along the way who do the jobs that I do share pretty much the same life story. The only thing that the term “dating” means to us is filling out the date logs on vehicle repair and maintenance checklists. Someone had asked me before when I will try finding a girlfriend again, and my reply was I barely have enough time to go to a smoke shop and grab a 6-pack, a bottle of Jim Beam and a pack of Dutches to self-medicate on a day off, forget about anything else man, you dig?
Personally, the whole “nerd” thing doesn’t really affect me. I’ve been a quiet, seldomly talking greaser most of my life. As long as everybody knows that if they really try to take advantage of me I will f#ck them up real bad. The Smith & Wesson decal on the back window of my personal 4×4 mudwagon tends to illustrate that point pretty well. A lot of folks back in them days thought The Don, Carlo Gambino himself was nerdy and aloof, but he was the most feared gangster in America. There was a time in history, and even in some cases today, Italians in America were looked down upon and despised. And you know what these tough old boys did? They said that they don’t care what anyone thinks, as long as they were feared and respected. Asians, especially Asians abroad have a lot to learn from these old time tough guys. When a man knows how to throw down and do so without hesitation at the drop of a dime, he can get pretty far in life, no matter what society thinks of him.
Hm. Well…I can only speak to crushes, I and such, since I am married..but it just depends on the guy. I took a Chinese film and animation grad course and it did open my eyes to movies beyond what the theaters show. That expanded the number of Asian male actors I have seen. (I also like Japanese movies; and Netflix has recently added a lot of South Korean TV shows/series). Of course, that is rarefied, as it’s still actors, not regular people. However…there are quite a few Asian actors I find entrancing. I have a chronic migraine with intense photosensitivity so I don’t get out that much, but people I see IRL, of different races than mine, it again just depends on the guy.
I must say, for all I have a crush on Tom Hiddleston, I have long thought Takeshi Kaneshiro the most beautiful and attractive man I have seen on screen. (I know, he’s not Chinese, but he is Asian.) And anyone who voted against Jet Li kissing someone? Booo hiss! I would have been a little swoony. So much, for me, has more to do with an expressive face/eyes. Oooh, this is bugging me that I can’t think of more examples from film or TV series.
All I can say is it’s more personality than anything else—real, in real life, or how portrayed, as actors do.
I had a little chat with the photographer. She has a Chinese boyfriend which inspires her to do photo shoots with amxf couples, though this couple is not a couple in real life.
I volunteered to help any future shoots and she does not have single friends but those who pursuing model careers. Also she’s in Los Angeles while I live in Dallas, Texas area.
white men are handsome？ Asian men are ugly？ I don’t agree with you ， You go to Ukraine It’s easy to find a girlfriend Why is America afraid of China ？ If most Chinese watch American news I think most Chinese really don’t like America And UK ， About the height When I go to Weifang no.1 middle school The average height of male students is about 178 cm to 180cm Most male students are over 178cm ， I have seven white girlfriends in 2014 – 2018 White women are more open This is true I met an American woman in 2015 She is in Shanghai She is about 150 cm She is 32 years old I’m 23 years old She wants have sex to me . This is my first time having sex with a white woman About the size I have seen 10 cm Also seen 23 cm He’s from henan His height is about 170cm 75k’g I am 184 cm tall I am 17 cm
It probably depends on where you are at. Locally it may be different and you may have a lot of friendly folks willing to experience another culture or something, but it may not be the same for the whole community. Personally speaking, a lot of Asians in America, especially newly arrived transplants, have a severe attitude problem which just does not do us great in social circles. I admit, I am like that too on a lot of occasions. I easily get offended over the smallest things and I am not hesitant to use physical force to show my displeasure. Not something that most girls like in a man. And I am an American born, fully Americanized Chinese who grew up in the streets of Brooklyn where greasers, guidos and wiseguys hang out and a street-savvy brat like myself is usually cultured in the arts of the fists, baseball bat and switchblade. Most likely all that rubbed off on me and has become a permanent stain on my character. But I have met a majority of newly transplanted Asians, most of them restaurant owners or freight brokers, who are just as explosively tempered, obnoxious in speech and mannerisms, and prone to extremely ugly behaviors and vices like drinking and degenerate gambling as locally raised greasers like me. Try having us on the dating scene and we probably won’t even make it past the front door because we would probably have called someone a motherf#cker or c#cksucker and got into a fight over some BS right there. LOL. Just the other day I was driving a carting truck that picked up recyclable industrial scrap from local businesses to haul to a processing yard when I stopped at a Chinese restaurant because my boss wanted to exchange 4 brand new propane bulk tanks with 260 pounds of HVAC tubing with the owner of the eatery. When I approached a 30-something worker with obviously bad English, he did not even attempt to call his boss or even listen to me explaining in Chinese about the transaction or look at the paperwork I was holding but barked at me “You f#ck off and go away, boss not here, ok?” To which I was like “Whoah, whoah HOLD THE F#CK UP HOMIE YOU TALK TO ME LIKE THAT WE GONNA HAVE A BIG F#CKING PROBLEM”. And then immediately in Chinese I said “If you don’t get your boss on the line right now I am going to tip up the rear of my truck and dump all the scrap and refuse in the back, over 2000 pounds, all over his front door and sidewalk and YOU can explain to him AND my supervisor why I f#cked his sh#t up. In the end he called his boss on the landline that he told me a minute ago that the place didn’t have (screw his ass) and put me on the phone where I promptly had a nice discussion with him about the legitimate business transaction and also how he might want to coach some common sense into the assh#le of a guy he had hired, unless he allow me to beat some sense into that prick myself. My supervisor later found out what happened, thanks to two full versions of the account from both me and the boss of that eatery and said I should have taken it more easy with him. To which I said “Hey man, if he run up to your face and started talking a whole lotta smack like that you’d want to beat the sh#t out of him too”. Now I realize too, it probably is not the media that is screwing us “poor Asian guys” LOL we are doing it to ourselves. No wonder a lot of us here in Brooklyn become gamblers and alcoholics.
I wonder if there are other fellow German or European readers here to prove me right or not – I don’t experience these gender/race clichés being so dominant here in Germany. From time to time I encounter amwf couples here and I often am told by women that they consider my Mongolian husband as extremely attractive (as I do, too ;)). Yet I remember a certain type of Chinese students at university who seemed to never spend a single thought on the opposite sex. I often heard, that Chinese students aren’t supposed to start a relationship before graduating? Anyway, the state of asian-european ‘gender-relations’ – can anyone Share my experience or it just my bubble?
Hi Jojo, the emasculation of Asian men in media and culture is predominantly an Anglo/English-speaking phenomenon. That’s probably why you as a German/European have not come across the same — almost instinctive — bias against Asian men with regard to sex appeal that we’re talking about here.
Hey Jojo,
There is not a feasible way to measure or test if the bias is real in North America. Living in the US for years, I feel the hardship of finding/matching American girls here(not just Caucasian, but Hispanic, Native American, Black, and so on). And here I am talking about just matching, for people to start a conversation to get to know each other.
I wish I could live in Europe for a while so I could understand the culture there, and experience if the situation would be different.
I certainly can confirm that when I was in college the opposite sex was the last thing on my mind, purely because of financial and time economics. With a very limited budget and relying on scholarship and part time jobs to squeak by there was just no money left over for the luxury of socialization. Secondarily, with a full load of engineering curriculum there absolutely was no time left to entertain any relationship.
Luckily, after graduation, with a decently paid and socially acceptable profession there was plenty of time and financial resources to make up for lost time.
During my many visits to Europe I didn’t find the locals to be any more friendly to Asians than in the US. In fact I personally found western Canadian females to be much more friendly to me, an Asian male. I even wound up marrying one of them.
What is all the fuss about Chinese men perceived as the least desirable dating partner. We Chinese men are happy and confident with and about ourselves. Economically, the Chinese are doing very well. China is fast becoming the world’s largest economy. The overseas Chinese or diaspora are doing very well. In the economic front, we are the top echelon. Here in Malaysia, as well in Indonesia and even in the west. We love our Chinese women and have no desire to pair with white women. What is it about muscles and a macho image? These are fleeting things. Once you are married and middle-aged, you become flabby with mammaries and 8 months pregnant bellies hahaha…We Chinese men generally stay slim throughout our lives and we age well. The west can portray Chinese men as nerdy and undesirable all they want. We are not bothered. We have the last laugh hahaha….
I get your point about not caring about what other people think. The, problem, though, is that the emasculating stereotypes have serious and negative practical consequences for the lives of Asian men. You say that Chinese men have no desire for white women and so it doesn’t matter, but what if even Chinese women reject Chinese men? Would that then bother you, because many Chinese and other Asian women in the West do in fact buy into the stereotypes and reject their own men. This doesn’t happen with women of other races.
And at the end of the day, it’s a matter of principle — it’s about fairness and equality. Why should Asian men tolerate such a humiliating treatment?
Jesterleigh, seriously? Hahaha Chinese women reject Chinese men? You westerners think too highly of yourselves. Nine out of ten Chinese Malaysian women don’t even want to consider the thought! hehehe….And if truly Chinese women are all mad about the angmoh as partners, they are welcome to their choice. We have other ethnic women too to choose as partners. No problem. Because we don’t have yellow, white, black or brown fever hehehe……
Jesterleigh, any why should we bother? Why should Asian men tolerate? We don’t have to. And we don’t care. The western media et al can continue their game. We don’t have time for their play at superiority complex. We know who we are. And for Asian men who don’t and feel threatened, they need to wise up. You are as weak as you want to. And as strong as you want to.
I hear ya, Om Ni. You are absolutely right! We know who are and we don’t necessarily seek validation from anyone else. We are judged as to our individual merit, not as part of some weird ideological assumption….
Stop being so “patronizing,” Jesterleigh…As a Philippine guy, myself, I am more “amused” than “insulted” by these all so-called “emasculating stereotypes.” Frankly, I would have rather be viewed as an ‘individual” than to have myself lumped together with others who, for the most part, share only one similar characteristic, that of “Asian-descent.” Frankly, when I first stumbled upon this site, I thought it was “cute” because of the pictures and also because I have my own AMWF experience and I viewed this as an opportunity to read and share similar stories. But the politics and ideological rhetoric and the seemingly neurotic obsession over statistical relationship disparities have mostly left a bad taste in my mouth regarding the AMWF “community,” in general. However, that does not mean I would go out of my way to avoid that type of interracial relationship. In my case, and I have written about this before, I kind of got pulled into it because the woman in question was already a close friend, and we had known each other for several years before we decided to take our relationship up a notch. It was not like, “love at first sight.” And as far as I am concerned, I do not associate us with the aforementioned AMWF “community,” which is steeped in a particular ideology that I do not necessarily agree with…..
What are you talking about? We’re not talking about the AMWF community and the merits thereof; we’re talking about the emasculating stereotypes that are ascribed to Asian men in Western media and culture and this affects all Asian men, whether their sexual preferences lean toward white women or not.
And what exactly do you see as being the AMWF “ideology” here?
I once asked other Asian guys about that and one of them told me that the so-called “emasculating stereotypes about Asian males” is mainly an intellectual construction based on the same mindset as those who promote Frankfurt School-style “Critical Theory” and other fringe ideologies. Incidentally, prior to visiting this blog last year, I had no idea, whatsoever, that this type of thinking even existed about Asian males. Seriously, how is it that after decades of living in the United States, I only hear about it for the first time in 2017? On this blog? And what do I think is AMWF “ideology?” It’s highly secular and heavily influenced by attitudes inspired, again, by or derived from “Critical Thinking” intellectual thought. AMWF relationships–especially statistical trends, have to be analyzed and interpreted in ideological terms and those who foster these beliefs seem to always be seeking validation from a secular society. They obsess over so-called negative public perceptions about Asian males, much more so than we guys do because we are either oblivious or completely indifferent to them. They bring up concerns that are barely acknowledged by Asian males like myself because these are completely irrelevant in our daily lives. As a result, I know of other AMWF couples and virtually none of them have anything to do, whatsoever, with AMWF secular issues.
I think most Chinese men like Chinese women You know many Chinese men can’t find wives When Chinese men see a western man and a Chinese woman Do you think Chinese men are happy? My friend saw an white man and Chinese woman He told me He wanted to beat up the white man
I report this kind of hatred comment. You shouldn’t blame the Caucasian man for having a Chinese girlfriend. The Chinese girl wants to have a Caucasian boyfriend. It’s nothing to do with you. NO ONE cares what kind of partner you find, it’s your own business.
I report this kind of hatred comment. You shouldn’t blame the Caucasian man for having a Chinese girlfriend. The Chinese girl wants to have a Caucasian boyfriend. It’s nothing to do with you. NO ONE cares what kind of partner you find, it’s your own business.
I was with Chinese girls while living in China. But now I am in the US the situation is different. Everyone does his/her best to seek happiness. As long as it does not hurt someone directly or indirectly, it’s fine.
Indeed, you are completely correct! It’s their own business as long as they’re not hurting anybody, people have the right to seek their own happiness….
Do I care about the happiness of frustrated Chinese men who can’t find wives? Nope, not in the least, and if some idiot like them wants to go up to a random white man and beat up him merely because the other fellow is with a Chinese woman, perhaps the would-be attacker deserves a bullet between his eyes. “Blue Sky Country” is right. A lot of these guys have “attitude problems.”
Stop being jealous.
You shouldn’t worry about this man and this woman. It’s not your business to put it bluntly.
You don’t own any woman even if you and her share Asian ancestry.
I am a white man who is currently single. I know it can suck to be alone but you really should not hate another human you don’t know on superficial reasons like being Caucasian. You might not even like that Chinese woman or Asian woman he was with if you were with her.
You should try to just be concerned with your life and find another woman possibly not Chinese. Just try and if she says no accept it and move on. You must understand life is not fair. Not just for you but for everyone mostly.
Why do so few Chinese men end up with White women? I could ask the same question about Philippine guys, like myself. Who do so few of us end up with White women? Well, the worst-kept secret among Asian guys–if the AMWF community were to really pay attention, is that outside of satisfying sexual curiosity, few “quality” Asian guys (you know, the ones who have “great” relationship attributes) that I know of, want to be stuck in anything resembling a long-term relationship with White women. No, seriously. That just happens to be one of the least-favorite topics of discussion among those I know. Incidentally, there is an inside joke circulating among a few of us, this whole thing about “getting Stoddened.” If you don’t know what that means, don’t feel bad. From what I understand, it’s a rare term that refers to an Asian guy that get romantically entangled with a “physically attractive” White female who happens to also be a “gold digger,” and they are plenty of them, out there, by the way. It’s named after Courtney Stodden–if you are not familiar with her, go do a Google search, and after divorcing her husband, actor Doug Hutchinson, she’s now with Chris Sheng, who is reportedly of Chinese-descent. But Hutchinson says that she’s just “using him,” and I do not doubt that, for a minute. Frankly speaking, a lot of Asian guys have their own version of the “White female horror story,” based on personal experience or that which they heard about, and it does not necessarily involve another Asian male…..
@Alex To be honest Many American man are ugly and fat Many white men look old A 35-year-old white man looks like a 50-year-old Chinese man。。。 I can’t get a white woman? Many white women love me I’m not a typical Chinese man If I talk to a white woman。。 I’ll tell her I love white women. You’re a sexy woman 。。 Then they were very happy… They think I’m handsome But I think I’m just an ordinary Chinese man..
Thanks for commenting. I don’t know what your point is. If you could find a girl you like, whatever the race, age, or personality, that’s your business. There is nothing to do with Caucasian men, fat, fit, or skinny. If your point is to tell people that you are good at finding what you like, I admire you. Whatever they find you attractive, that’s their opinion.
I agree with you, “Alex.” But unfortunately, this board has become seemingly too obsessed with people’s outward appearances and whether they are “attractive” or not…..
Well, the appearance does play a roll. You feel someone is attractive because what he/she looks like, how he/she behaves, how he/she talks, and so on. But there are thing other than those. If you like someone simply because of looking, it’s “lusting” and “hook-up” only. That’s the first step, don’t get me wrong. There are beautiful girls in the USA, but some I don’t feel attractive to, such as their tattoos, I don’t understand that kind of art and beauty.
Yes, being “physically attractive” does play a role, but I think many who subscribe to some form of AMWF “culture” seemingly obsess over it and I think that’s unhealthy….Look at South Korea and the popularity of cosmetic surgery, as an example, although that’s not necessarily AMWF-related.
“Why so few asian men end up with white women”, the irony of this statement seems to be lost on everyone. Complaining about race discrimination while singling out just one race of women. Maybe, just as asian men writing this article idolize white women specifically for no other reason but because they are white, white women who reject asian men simply dont find them attractive for no other reason than that they are asian.
Complaining about racial discrimination rings hollow when you practice it yourself.
No.
People reject those the deem “unattractive,” all the time, for whatever reason….But from my observation, this whole “why so few asian men end up with women” issue seems to be completely meaningless, based on discussions with fellow Asian guys, who prefer to avoid the topic, altogether, because they have so little interest…But one of the few times I recall when someone referenced something related to AMWF relationships, was when a friend whose Japanese-American–and a fellow karate practitioner, “proudly” showed me some of the entries in his digital “black book,” phone numbers belonging to White women who are mutual acquaintances. I also remember this one fellow, also of Japanese-descent, who I used to train with in another dojo, many years ago, when he was still a child, and recently seeing pictures of him, all grown up and having achieved success as a professional judo competitor. One of the shots featured him surrounded by a bevy of mostly White women. And immediately, I thought, he’s probably dated his share of attractive White girls, a good-looking, athletic Asian guy like him. No surprises, there. I know an older Filipino male, based in New York City, who had no problems, whatsoever, dating White women in his younger years, like mid to late-1970s, because he had charm, looks, and was a good dancer, to boot. He later engaged in interracial live-in relationships as he got older, but the women left because he refused to commit to marriage.
I’ve dated one Chinese guy the past year and I’m a white girl. He is superhot! And there is nothing about them “being small” . Particularly I love the shape of the eyes in Asians. But in my case (39) there are not much Asians when I was young. The number of them are increasing a lot, and I just love that! I do believe cultural en social differences make it hard for white women to date Asians. Male, platonic, best friends was in my case the biggest problem and the jealousy and anger it brought. Asian women are usted to it as a social standard I guess, that is what makes it easier I guess for white men to date Asian women. For me, I only get excited looking at Asian men. I guess I’m different. 😁
Thanks for sharing, Melina — glad to hear you’ve had a generally positive experience!
As a white woman who has always found East Asian men the MOST attractive, I have been pondering this for a while, and getting frustrating results. Some of the most beautiful men I have ever seen in my life are Asian. Like the Chinese actor Dylan Wang. Oh my goodness he’s gorgeous. Chinese, Korean, Japanese etc. All beautiful imo. I won’t claim to know this to be true, but I’m basing it on my experiences, and that of other women. Because Asian men seem to imagine (wrongly) that they are not as desirable as other races, they won’t act on it when they are interested in a female. I’m still pretty old fashioned, and I don’t approach men. In my experience dating, men tend to view this as a turn off, so I’ve learned to let them ‘lead’. But Asian guys never approach you. On dating sites, they never message you. And I’m an attractive woman that gets all other races of men approaching me. Or maybe Asian men don’t find western women as attractive as other women? But if that were true, there wouldn’t be so many articles like this, where they are saying Asian men are getting an unfair deal. I’ve seen too many to think they are not interested. And I don’t understand why they would be having a hard time, other than stereotypes that are really invented by western men….
What I personally prefer about Asian men. (Please don’t think I’m trying to stereotype, or ‘fetishise’ like so many white men do with Asian women whom they deem ‘submissive’, docile, feminine, etc.) I don’t find ‘macho’ attractive at all. I don’t like big muscles. I don’t really care for Western culture in general if I’m honest. It’s crass, loud, and obnoxious. Anti-intellectual is celebrated in the west. There are too many things like people covered with tattoos, shouting, and swearing a lot, etc. I like all the mostly slender Asian males I see on things like C and K dramas. They are slender, elegant, educated, beautiful. They dress MUCH better than their western counterparts, and are not too casual, or scruffy. Asian men seem more ‘clean cut’ than western men. (or western women for that matter….) Asian men tend to have nice hair, and not unattractive beards like western men. On much of this media they are thoughtful, sweet, able to show emotion, openly cry, devoted to their love interest etc. That’s what I find appealing. If they are quiet, intense, shy, that is all OK! If they are goofy, and confident, that is also OK! I am a very petite woman, so if a guy is not huge, that doesn’t bother me at all. Western men tend to be highly misogynistic, and make fun of all this stuff, referring to Asian men as ’emasculated’ or ‘feminised’ etc. That is all nonsense. Honestly, I think western men feel threatened, and jealous because more western women are finding Asian guys attractive now. I can only speak for myself, but I’ve talked to lots of other western women who agree with me.
Thank you for sharing Emily!