Ask the Yangxifu: Western Parents Say No to Chinese Boyfriend?

Angry white man clenching his teeth
What should a Western woman do when her parents disapprove of her Chinese boyfriend? (photo by Alessandro Paiva)

M asks:

Me and my Chinese boyfriend have been dating for six months. His parents are happy that he is dating with me and have nothing against me. This is totally different with my own parents! They cannot understand why I don’t want a western man, but prefer an Asian one. In their opinion (especially my father’s) Chinese men just keep their wives as slaves, hit them, sleep with prostitutes after work and have child-wives. I really don’t know how to make my parents to believe that my boyfriend is certainly not like this! My parents are very prejudiced against any other nationalities except our own. My mother actually dared to ask me if I was sure that my boyfriend is not engaged to some Chinese child in China!

Do you have any advise how I should cope with this situation? My boyfriend and I live in the UK, but my parents and his don’t. However my mum is coming here this summer and I’m hoping to reduce his prejudices when she sees my boyfriend 😉 Continue reading “Ask the Yangxifu: Western Parents Say No to Chinese Boyfriend?”

Ask the Yangxifu: Unlucky in Love in China

A stiletto high heel crushing a rose petal
Friday the 13 -- the perfect time for stories of unfortunate love. (photo by Aleksandra P.)

Programming note: from May 2 until May 13, I’ll be in the process of flying to and then settling down in China for the summer. During this time, I’ll be digging up some classic content from the archives, and sharing it with you in the form of theme-related posts. And don’t worry — I’ll be back on May 16. Promise! 😉


This is Friday the 13th, one of the unluckiest days of the year — a perfect time for tales of star-crossed lovers, and relationship woes, Ask the Yangxifu style:

Cheating With a Married Chinese Man. An American woman clings to an illicit relationship, and wants to believe it could be so much more. Too bad he’s married with children.

When a Chinese Man Buries His Love. There’s nothing worse than when he loves you, but decides he won’t move forward with the relationship. Makes me want to cry over Love in the Time of Cholera one more time.

Can Western Women Love a Communist Military Man? A military man in China would love to date Western women. Only problem? The government forbids it. This has all the makings of a modern-day version of Romeo and Juliet set in China.


Do you have a question about life, dating, marriage and family in China/Chinese culture (or Western culture)? Every Friday, I answer questions on my blog. Send me your question today.

Ask the Yangxifu: Frequently Asked Questions About Dating Chinese Men and Western Women

The Thinker by Rodin
Get answers to your most popular questions on dating Chinese men and Western women at my Ask the Yangxifu FAQ section. (photo by Henk L)

Recently, I’ve been getting a lot of the same questions in the Ask the Yangxifu mailbag — and often sending my fans links to this or that article I’ve written before. I love getting questions, and love answering. But as Friday started looming, I realized I had no good, new questions to feature on the blog. I thought, shoot, what I am going to write about for the Friday column?

But in the midst of my emerging content crisis, it suddenly came to me. When you get repeat questions, it means just one thing — you need a frequently asked questions page.

Enter in the brand-spanking-new Ask the Yangxifu Frequently Asked Questions, with some of the most popular questions on dating Chinese men and dating Western women. Tell me what you think, and let me know if I’m missing a favorite question of yours.

Don’t worry — the Q&A will be back next week. 🙂

P.S. to all of the Chinese men out there: I really, really wish your section wasn’t so painfully short. Only a fraction of my e-mails come from Chinese men wanting to know about dating Western women. Want to help me expand the knowledge base? Send me more good questions to answer. Thanks! 😉


Do you have a question about life, dating, marriage and family in China/Chinese culture (or Western culture)? Every Friday, I answer questions on my blog. Send me your question today.

Ask the Yangxifu: How to Introduce Your White Girlfriend to Your Asian Parents

Instead of my usual Q&A this Friday (nothing to do with April Fools Day, I promise!), I’m steering you over to my latest article on the Asian Man White Woman magazine. If you’re a Chinese guy who just started dating a White girl, well, this one’s for you. It’s called How to Introduce Your White Girlfriend to Your Asian Parents — here’s a snippet:

When I first started dating John, my future Chinese husband, everything seemed as perfect as our first kiss by the lake.

We could have entire conversations with just a glance. Our chemistry was so good that, for weeks, I came to work every morning, beaming from bedroom bliss. And within weeks of getting together, we had taken two romantic dates together, and planned a third trip to Beijing.

So finally, after a little over a month together, John decided to go home and tell his Asian parents all about me. His report?

“My father said I can be friends with you, but not date you.”

Gulp. Not exactly what you’d call, uh, “perfect.”

So if you have a white girlfriend or fiancee, what do you do when your Asian family gets in the way of happily ever after?

To find out, read the full article now. If you like it, share it. And thanks!

Ask the Yangxifu: Western women in China are NOT all sluts

Samantha Jones from Sex and the City
Despite what you might have seen Samantha doing in "Sex and the City," all Western women are not sluts.

[This is an excerpt from a series of e-mails from a Chinese man. He met a British woman, who he ended up having dinner with, and later spending an afternoon with her and her friends.]

For a while, I have gone crazy with western girls [in the past]. It’s like I blindly go after any western girls that are pretty, and forget what a relationship is really meant to be. So I calm down and thought for a while. Actually I don’t know this girl Tracy enough yet, so going too fast might actually hurt our future possibility, unless I just want something like fast sex or what. I think I have watched too much US drama [or got that impression from the bars and clubs]…

I found out that I just have a better understanding about Tracy, and I now know that she’s the kind of person who doesn’t like things go too fast. (For example, she mentioned to me that she met a girl yesterday the first time, and then the girl kept asking her to hangout to this place, that place, and then Tracy said she doesn’t like that, as it’s the first time, she doesn’t even know her yet, so she doesn’t feel comfortable, she said she prefers to take some time and get to know the person) When I heard that, I thought, Äre you telling me as well? :)….

I am a bit worried that I will fall into the friend zone, is there any particular precautions you would like to give me? Continue reading “Ask the Yangxifu: Western women in China are NOT all sluts”

Ask the Yangxifu: Dating Advice for Chinese Men from JT Tran, the Asian Playboy

JT Tran, the Asian Playboy
In this exclusive interview with Speaking of China, JT Tran offers dating advice for Chinese men on everything from sexuality and confidence to personality and approaching women.

In lieu of the usual Q&A, this week I’m featuring an interview with JT Tran, the number one Asian Dating Coach for Asian men.

JT has been featured on ABC, Chicago TV, VH1’s The Pick Up Artist, Asian Week, D Magazine, Nichi Bei Times, Entrepreneur, Harvard, Rutgers, Wellesley, to name a few. He offers hands-on coaching through his bootcamp seminars with the ABCs of Attraction. And, just recently, he launched the AMWW (Asian Men & White Women) Magazine to provide dating advice for Asian men in every stage of the relationship (in full disclosure, I’ll be writing for the magazine starting this January). Regular readers may also remember I reviewed his free audio dating CD and eBook in December (which are still available for download).

I talked with JT about a variety of subjects, from sexuality and building confidence to having personality and just approaching women. I’m confident you’ll find the conversation as enlightening and enjoyable as I did.

Since this is a monster of an interview, I’ve broken it down into topics, so you can click your way through to the information you want to know most:

Continue reading “Ask the Yangxifu: Dating Advice for Chinese Men from JT Tran, the Asian Playboy”

Ask the Yangxifu: Review of Exposing the Myth Behind Why Asian Men Can’t Date White Women

Chinese husband, Western wife, singing karaoke
My review of the CD "Exposing The Myth Behind Why Asian Men Can't Date White Women" (and the accompanying e-Book)

This week, I’m pre-empting the usual Q&A, to give you a review of the free audio dating CD, “Exposing the Myth Behind Why Asian Men Can’t Date Western Women,” and free e-book, “Enter the Pickup Artist Preview,” by JT Tran, the Asian Playboy.


Over the past year, I’ve gotten a lot of e-mails from Chinese men, who are desperate to know one thing — how to date Western women.

And so I’ve answered, from advice on how to meet Western women in China or America, to how to approach Western women in China, to even dishing out my suggestions for a Chinese student pursuing a brunette here in the US.

But the truth is, as good as my answers are, there’s much more to getting in a relationship with a Western woman than being in the right place, and having the right approach. That’s because you can fail for so many other reasons — because you don’t have the confidence, or you lack personality, or you don’t know how to hold a conversation, or you have the wrong body language.

Fortunately, there’s an Asian brother out there who understands. JT Tran was once, as he puts it, a “textbook nerd” who studied engineering in college here in the US, and had absolutely no clue on how to get American women. He was even rejected by eHarmony for being “too analytical and cerebral.” That was the wake-up call that jumpstarted his own transformation into the guy now known as “the Asian Playboy” — the number one dating coach for Asian men.

Asian Playboy? Continue reading “Ask the Yangxifu: Review of Exposing the Myth Behind Why Asian Men Can’t Date White Women”