Tag: Western women Chinese men

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UK Chinese Studies Student Seeks Chinese/Non-Chinese Couples for Dissertation Survey

Small porcelain dolls showing a Chinese husband and wife in traditional red clothing
(photo from rickz Flickr)

UPDATE: Participants are still needed until January 2013! Please read this message and contact bankslaura (at) hotmail.co.uk.

Want to help scholars with research into Chinese/non-Chinese interracial relationships — in just 30 minutes?

A UK student in Chinese studies is doing her dissertation on Chinese/non-Chinese interracial relationships, and she needs to find couples — both married and non-married — who are willing to complete a survey, which should take about 30 minutes. That includes Chinese men and non-Chinese women, as well as non-Chinese men and Chinese women. See the details below in this letter: Continue reading “UK Chinese Studies Student Seeks Chinese/Non-Chinese Couples for Dissertation Survey”

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Ask the Yangxifu: How Do I Explain Goth To My Boyfriend?

A girl wearing a black hoodie with white skulls on it.
(photo by Laura Mountford)

Miskatonic asks:

I’m in a fairly new relationship myself with a nice grad student from China. I’m kind of at a loss as to how I should explain what Goth is to someone who doesn’t have many points of reference for Western culture in general. My clothing style is so subtle I can pass for normal most of the time, but the same cannot be said of my house. He’s going to want to come over to my place at some point and I’m going to have to explain why there’s bats and skulls and spiders on everything. He’s going to think I’m nuts. Help! Continue reading “Ask the Yangxifu: How Do I Explain Goth To My Boyfriend?”

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I’ll Remember… Posts About Never Forgetting Your Love

A heart-shaped candy on the dictionary entry for the word "always"
(photo by Kate Ter Haar)

I’m taking a break from posting from May 28 until June 8. But in the meantime, I’m sharing some of my classic content — which might either be new to you, or just a great read worth revisiting. Either way, hope you enjoy these, and I’ll see you June 11. 😉

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It’s Memorial Day in the US, a time when we remember those who serve or have served in the military. But the word “memorial” itself immediately made me think of those loves of the past — a love that changed us, or a love that we might bury deep in our hearts, never to be forgotten.

So I’ve dug into the archives to share a few posts about loves we remember — from my own personal stories to those of Chinese men and Western women across the world.

The Sands, and Teahouses, of Time. When love bubbled over with my first Chinese boyfriend in his favorite Taiwanese teahouse, I tried to hold on to that sweetness of what we had through this place he left behind.

Double Happiness: Once You Go Black, You Never Go Back. Shanghai-based writer Chenyin Pan recalls the love he found with women of color in the US.

Double Happiness: A Journey Towards China And Love. Mayte never forgot the two loves she found with Chinese men, both touching and unexpected.

 

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How My Husband Embraced My Wedding Ring Tradition

Photo of a bride with a bouquet and her wedding ring
(photo by Crystal Jensen)

Ah, wedding rings. Whenever I see an ad for them on TV, I immediately shout out “Hūnjiè,” (婚戒), the Chinese word for this most intimate of all jewelry, and then shoot my husband a grin. He usually laughs and nods at what’s become our husband-wife running joke — that I still have no wedding ring, and John still “owes” me.

This isn’t some post-wedding inner Bridezilla of mine coming out, as if I enjoyed putting my husband on a guilt trip for all the ways our wedding never lived up to expectations. No, as weddings go, I’m pretty happy over how we tied the knot and wouldn’t change a thing. I’ve never even pressured him about buying things; if anything, I’m the one usually clamping down on our family budget, and he’s the one encouraging me to “reward myself” with something I really wanted. Still, behind this running joke of ours remains a real promise — that, someday, he hopes to buy me the perfect wedding ring. Continue reading “How My Husband Embraced My Wedding Ring Tradition”

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Ask the Yangxifu: More On Finding Western Women to Date in China

Three women in a club
A Chinese man in Guangzhou wonders, can he ever find another Western woman to love in China? (Photo by Jim Reilly)

Ken asks:

I went over to New York when I was 20 years old and I finished my BA and my MBA there. I also worked there for about one year before I decided it was time to come back to China with my classmate/girlfriend then who was from New York. I was able to make the decision of coming back to China because my girlfriend was very supportive of this decision, which, to be very honest, was really to my surprise because she never had been outside of the States except for going to Canada that one time. Continue reading “Ask the Yangxifu: More On Finding Western Women to Date in China”

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Ask the Yangxifu: Chinese Boyfriend Seems Too Chinese To Western Girlfriend

A worried Chinese man
When a Western woman tells her Chinese boyfriend he's "too Chinese," he wonders -- is "too Chinese" unattractive to Western women?

Seborga asks;

my fiance has been together with me for 4 years. she always mentioning that it won’t be possible for her to be together with me if I were too Chinese. Since I have been overseas for 13 years since I was 16, she thinks I have the same wave length of thinking as her. I had few western gfs, and most of them taking “Chineseness” as something very negative. So does that mean thinking and behaving as a total chinese is very unatttractive in the eyes of mainstream western women? Continue reading “Ask the Yangxifu: Chinese Boyfriend Seems Too Chinese To Western Girlfriend”

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Featured in China Daily Article: Western Women, Chinese Men

Western wife and Chinese husband jumping up as they hold hands together
Megan Millward and husband Zhang Lie -- one of the couples of Western women and Chinese men featured in this China Daily article (photo from http://www.chinadaily.com.cn/)

In case you missed it (or, like me, you spent the weekend away — in my case, a wedding in Hangzhou — and are just catching up), the China Daily just published an article titled Western Women, Chinese Men — about the growing trend of marriages between Western women and Chinese men. It features me, as well as fellow bloggers Jo Gan of Life Behind the Wall and Melanie Parsons Gao from The Downtown Diner. Here’s an excerpt from the article with some quotes from me and my husband:

Jocelyn Eikenburg, a 33-year-old American who blogs on speakingofchina.com, had a similar experience [of having the relationship get serious fast] when she first began dating her husband, Jun Yu. “Immediately after we first started dating, he was calling me laopo.” That is Chinese for “wife”.

She was surprised by how quickly the relationship had gone from friend to potential spouse. Her blog focuses on cross-cultural relationships between Chinese men and Western women.

Family can also be another hurdle for many foreign women in relationships with Chinese men.

When Jun told his family about his relationship with Eikenburg, his father did not approve. “He cautioned me about dating a foreign girl and did not want me to get hurt,” Jun says.

His family’s attitude toward their son dating a foreign woman quickly changed when Eikenburg went home with Jun for Chinese New Year. When she showed his father pictures of her family at home, “it really opened him up”, she says. As filial piety is important to Chinese families, Eikenburg says that experience helped break down barriers….

Read the full article here — and if you love it, share it. Thanks!

 

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