Articles | Speaking of China

Celebrating 10 Years Together With My Husband

Ten years ago on July 26, I spent an evening beside the West Lake with a young man from rural Hangzhou, a man whose kiss transformed us into something far beyond friends. Two years later, on the very same day, we made things a little more official — we registered our marriage in Shanghai. And three years after that, we finally said “I do” in China with all the pomp and circumstance a bride could ever hope for in a wedding ceremony.

Even after all this time together, John still makes me swoon. 😉

And, I should add, he was the one who inspired me to launch this site, and the one always encouraged me to keep writing.

John, thank you so much for 10 wonderful years together.

P.S.: I’ve been busy celebrating this weekend — and through this week — so my apologies for this short entry. I’ll be back again with a full entry on Friday.

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“Rougan”: How My Husband Helped Me Love My Curves

A shot of a woman in a short plaid skirt showing off her strong thighs — (photo from Flickr, by Emily Johnson)

Last night, when my husband rolled into bed, he rolled straight over my thighs and couldn’t help caressing them as he went by. Once he tucked into the covers and spooned me, he once again ran his hands up my thighs to my waist and pulled me in closer.

“I love your ròugǎn,” he whispered to me, using the Chinese word (肉感) that means sexy and voluptuous.

Even though I always understood his Chinese perfectly, the idea of ròugǎn as a compliment once sounded absolutely foreign to me. The first character in the word, ròu (肉), is the same word used for meat and flesh. And that reminded me of how people in English might say, “She’s got a lot of meat on her bones,” but never in same sexy and sultry way as my husband. Continue reading ““Rougan”: How My Husband Helped Me Love My Curves”

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The Filial Side of Moving in With My Grandma

Lame, loser, or just plain “oh Lord.” My American friends could have easily thought any one of these things — if not more — about me, all because my husband and I moved in with my grandmother.

That’s why I never just told people in America, “We’re moving in with Grandma,” but made it clear that this move came with an asterisk. She’s 89, she had a stroke some years ago, my grandfather passed away last year and she lives alone. We’re moving to China next year, once John finishes his internship — it just didn’t make sense to start a new household all over again, only to have to leave it all behind in an international move. Without this addendum, I felt certain we’d get branded as just another pathetic boomeranging couple leaching off of sweet little grandma.

But my Chinese father-in-law never needed — or asked for — the footnotes on our move. Continue reading “The Filial Side of Moving in With My Grandma”

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On Moving: My “Too Much Stuff” And My Husband’s Little Blue Duffel Bag

A stack of moving boxes — (photo by Chris Schauflinger)

One tiny blue duffel bag. That’s all John brought over to my apartment in Hangzhou years ago when he first moved in with me.

So imagine his surprise when he discovered, months later, all the things I decided to take with me when I moved to Shanghai — to find a new job closer to him. My stuff barely fit into his cousin’s microvan, causing him to shake his head at my accumulated belongings and sigh, “So many things!” Continue reading “On Moving: My “Too Much Stuff” And My Husband’s Little Blue Duffel Bag”

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We’re Moving (John and I, Not This Website)

As I write this, John and I have just finished moving things out of our apartment, and are getting ready to hit the road and move out of Idaho — back to Cleveland, Ohio, my hometown. Words cannot express the excitement I feel at this moment, that we finally will leave this place and start anew.

Here’s the good news:

John passed his dissertation defense this week, went very smoothly. All that remains is his internship year.
And speaking of the internship, John already found someone to work with him in the Cleveland area. Still working on the details, but should have it together before the end of the summer.

Since we’ll be on the road this week, and I’ve had WAY too many things going on, I won’t be able to post anything this Friday. My apologies. I should be back a week from today.

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Help a Half-Asian, Half-White Girl Needing Life-Saving Surgery

Instead of my usual Friday content, I’m running something a little different today. This post represents a promise I made long ago, that I would help a dear reader in need. So here goes:

Meet Shameme Adams. She’s a half-Asian, half-white English girl who loves silk brocade, has a puppet named Clifford, dreams of traveling to China someday, and desperately needs an operation that could save her life.

I first came to know Shameme by one of those lost arts in this day and age — a handwritten letter she sent to me out of the blue. Well, let me say she touched me with her spirit and optimism, not to mention the courage it takes to reach out to someone you don’t know and write such a heartwarming letter as she did. She also told me the story of her condition: Continue reading “Help a Half-Asian, Half-White Girl Needing Life-Saving Surgery”

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From Chinese New Year To Christmas in July?

John never looked more upset the moment I lifted our artificial Christmas tree — up and out of the living room.

“What are you doing? Don’t move that,” he said.

“But it’s embarrassing,” I said, not glancing back at him as I carried it into our bedroom. “Just think if our guest saw it.”

“Nobody cares, just leave it out.”

“Look, this isn’t just another Chinese New Year decoration you just hang up all year long.” I glared at him as I said it, the kind of glare that says, “Don’t even try winning this argument.”

Outside, the sun’s rays turned the field across from our place into a shimmering green, where the crack of baseball bats and the barking of dogs trailed by owners in shorts and T-shirts reminded me the holidays had long gone. But you wouldn’t know it by the Christmas tree, stockings and string of holiday lights in our home — decorations that, to my Chinese husband, deserved a place in our home the entire year, just like the red couplets or “Good Fortune” characters decorating the homes of most Chinese. Continue reading “From Chinese New Year To Christmas in July?”

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For the Love of Soccer (in China)

Cannavaro (L) and goalkeeper Gianluigi Buffon watch play against. Egypt during their Confederations Cup soccer match at Ellis Park. — Italy, John's longtime favorite team in European football (photo from Muhammad Ghafari's Flickr stream)

For John and I, the arrival of the 2012 UEFA European Football Championship felt like Christmas in the summer. Ever since we returned from our vacation, we’ve bounded out of bed each morning with the excitement of children desperate to unwrap their holiday presents, and flicked on the TV to enjoy yet another soccer match. Half the fun, though, is watching the matches with my husband, who still remains a veritable walking Wikipedia of all things football after all his years of playing the game and enjoying it as a fan. It’s as if my love for John has translated into a love for the beautiful game he enjoys so much.

But it didn’t start out that way, as John reminded me of recently. Continue reading “For the Love of Soccer (in China)”

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On Travel and Love (In China)

Jocelyn and John standing on the beach at sunset — John and I standing on the beach at sunset at Nusa Lembongan, Bali

I’m taking a break from posting from May 28 until June 8. But in the meantime, I’m sharing some of my classic content — which might either be new to you, or just a great read worth revisiting. Either way, hope you enjoy these, and I’ll see you June 11. 😉

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The summer kicks off the travel season, and there’s nothing better than traveling with the one you love. I dug into the archives to share a few classic stories of traveling with the one you love (and often, for love) in China.

Hitting the Great Wall(s) of Beijing. Sometimes, you hit walls in life in China. And sometimes, you hit walls on the way to the Great Wall, as John and I did when we traveled there.

Going to John’s China Hometown. John’s ancestors come from the area near Huangshan — one of China’s most impressive mountains. But his family lives in a countryside ravaged by economic development, worlds away from what his ancestors knew.

Stuck Between Taiwan and Jun, Published in Matador Life. In “Stuck Between Jun and Taiwan,” I tell my story of how I learned that international love doesn’t come easy during a time of traveling for work.

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I’ll Remember… Posts About Never Forgetting Your Love

A heart-shaped candy on the dictionary entry for the word "always" — (photo by Kate Ter Haar)

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It’s Memorial Day in the US, a time when we remember those who serve or have served in the military. But the word “memorial” itself immediately made me think of those loves of the past — a love that changed us, or a love that we might bury deep in our hearts, never to be forgotten.

So I’ve dug into the archives to share a few posts about loves we remember — from my own personal stories to those of Chinese men and Western women across the world.

The Sands, and Teahouses, of Time. When love bubbled over with my first Chinese boyfriend in his favorite Taiwanese teahouse, I tried to hold on to that sweetness of what we had through this place he left behind.

Double Happiness: Once You Go Black, You Never Go Back. Shanghai-based writer Chenyin Pan recalls the love he found with women of color in the US.

Double Happiness: A Journey Towards China And Love. Mayte never forgot the two loves she found with Chinese men, both touching and unexpected.

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