Double Happiness: “He Calls Me ‘Guapa'” — A Chinese-Spanish Love Story

A Chinese guy and Spanish girl in love -- Tony from China, and Laura from Spain
Tony, from China, and Laura, from Spain.

Guapa means good-looking or handsome in Spanish. It’s also a lovely word to start off a story about an equally lovely couple — Laura, from Spain, and Tony, from China.

Thanks to Laura for sharing this story, and the photographs.

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Tony calls me cariño (dear), sometimes guapa (good-looking), and other times Lauritina. It is really wonderful to have someone who calls you guapa when you get home.

We met in a Suzhou Starbucks, while I was having a coffee with a friend and he was chilling out after a meeting in Suzhou.

He came over the table and he introduced himself. He wanted to practice his English and our table was the most suitable one for that purpose. We talked for some minutes and when we told him we actually speak Spanish, he took out a book from his bag, I couldn’t believe it, he bought a book to learn Spanish the same day we met. Well, that must mean something, I thought. Continue reading “Double Happiness: “He Calls Me ‘Guapa’” — A Chinese-Spanish Love Story”

Ask the Yangxifu: Negativity From Friends (And More) About Dating Asian Men

A B&W photo of a girl looking sad
(photo by Taston via Flickr)

asks:

Here, in Eastern Europe, seeing white girls with an Asian guy — and what’s even more shocking — a guy shorter than her, it just blows people’s minds! People in the street are staring at you in a sarcastic way or sometimes even making comments like “what is she doing with him? Are they really dating each other?!” Even my friends find it hard to understand. So I wanted to ask you, if situations like this happened to you, how did you feel that time, was it bothering you? Did you feel hurt? How did you overcome this prejudice? Continue reading “Ask the Yangxifu: Negativity From Friends (And More) About Dating Asian Men”

Double Happiness: Chinese Man Moves to Mexico, Finds Love

Classic mexican colors at the Bazaar del Sabado
(photo from i_amici’s flickr stream)

How far would you go to change your life? For Hao, his journey took him all the way to Mexico, where he found a new career — and a new love. 

I’m really excited to share his story, and hope you find it as inspiring as I did.

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It all started back in 2006, when I met this lovely Mexican family (not related to my love) living in California. In that same year, my fortunes took a turn for the worse. I couldn’t find a decent job in the States, and I struggled for years not knowing what to do. Then my Mexican friend suggested ever-so-casually, “Why don’t we go to Mexico?” Continue reading “Double Happiness: Chinese Man Moves to Mexico, Finds Love”

Double Happiness: A Brief, But Beautiful, Spanish-Chinese Romance

A girl leaning over a railing overlooking a river, with a sad expression on her face.
(photo by Michael Dorokhov, via his Flickr stream)

When Lauren submitted to me, she wrote, “I’m writing to share my story with a Chinese boy, although not all fairy tales have a happy ending.”

Even though I call this series “Double Happiness,” sometimes that happiness doesn’t last forever. Lauren’s story reminded me of the joys I experience with past loves, if only for a short time. Sometimes it’s good to remember.

Thanks for sharing your memories, Lauren. Continue reading “Double Happiness: A Brief, But Beautiful, Spanish-Chinese Romance”

Yin-Yang: “A Headstrong Australian Girl…Humbled By China”

An Australian girl and her Chinese boyfriend, standing on a historical street in China
Huaiqian and Christi (photo courtesy of Christi)

When I first read Christi’s story — which shares some of the ways she and her fiancee, Huaiqian, balance their relationship — I smiled at the way she described herself as “a headstrong Australian girl…humbled by China.” Her words echoed much of my own experience with John — the moments when we realized just how differently we viewed exactly the same thing, the times when we learned to negotiate the differences. She brings so much heart and honesty to the subject, and I’m excited to share her story with you.  Continue reading “Yin-Yang: “A Headstrong Australian Girl…Humbled By China””

On Shopping With My Husband, And The Parka That Got Away

A recent cold front turned my thoughts to the winter jacket I needed replacing this year, and ended up turning us towards the closest shopping mall to eyeball a few just-arrived winter jackets. I admired the colors — plum, tangerine, teal, and ivory. At least, before I turned the price tags over.

“Aiya,” I said to my husband at a whisper, still reeling from some serious sticker-shock. “And they said this was a sale?”

But John just smiled. “Do you like any of them?” He sounded like a guy ready to whip out his platinum credit card for me — that any price was still a good price to him.

I shook my head. “Too expensive, we should just wait until the after-Christmas sales.”

“But you need a new jacket,” he said. He smiled again, as if to say, go ahead, look around, I have an undisclosed bank account I’m about to tell you about.

My pragmatic side didn’t even notice. “No, I’ll survive without it, my zipper still isn’t totally broken yet.”

I linked my arm with John’s arm and pulled him towards the door. I could have sworn I saw him taking one last, longing glance at the plum-colored parka I loved only moments before.

“You really wanted to buy me that jacket, didn’t you?” I asked him the following day.

He grinned and leaned back in his chair. “Sure, I just want to take care of you.” Then he met my glance and added, “It’s my responsibility.”

I’ve called John “husband” for years, but I still can’t get over the way he loves to take me shopping — and shower me with only the best (even if we end up leaving the place empty-handed). Continue reading “On Shopping With My Husband, And The Parka That Got Away”

Double Happiness: Michelle and Kwan are Getting Married

Michelle and Kwan
Michelle and Kwan (photo courtesy of Michelle)

Not long after I first launched Ask the Yangxifu in January 2010, I received an e-mail from an American woman named Michelle about her burgeoning relationship with Kwan, a Chinese-American man she just met. Never did I imagine that, more than two years later, I would follow Michelle and Kwan throughout their relationship (through Michelle’s occasional e-mails) — right through to their engagement and marriage plans.

What a thrill. This is the first couple I’ve ever had the privilege to follow from their first meeting to marriage.

But even better, Michelle agreed to share her story with us for Double Happiness — how she met Kwan, and how he proposed to her. Michelle, I wish you and Kwan báitóuxiélǎo (白头偕老, may the bride and groom live to a ripe old age together)! Continue reading “Double Happiness: Michelle and Kwan are Getting Married”

Double Happiness: Chinese Wedding Stories from Four Western Women

John and I kissing at our wedding
John and I, kissing at our wedding

I’m a sucker for Chinese weddings — especially when they involve my fellow yangxifu. Which is why I couldn’t help but put together a little compendium of wedding stories about Western women and Chinese men tying the knot, from getting the little red marriage books to slipping into those little red qipaos. I’ve included snippets of stories from Tianjin Shannon, Tales from Hebei’s Kelly Sandor-Yang, Ember Swift, and My Beijing Survival Diary’s Michelle Guo. Continue reading “Double Happiness: Chinese Wedding Stories from Four Western Women”

Double Happiness: A Brazilian-Chinese Love Story That Started With Football

A bride topper made for a cake that was a gift from a bride-to-be to her soccer lover fiance on his birthday.
(photo by Ban Tell)

I’ll be honest, it’s been a challenging summer for us. Moving across country, getting settled in, even my husband’s whole internship thing (he still faces uncertainty in some respects, but that’s another story…sigh).

But then, days before, I found this little postcard of a love story in my inbox — in Portuguese. Well, I don’t know Portuguese. But between my Spanish minor from college and a little help from Google Translate, I worked the story out — and was touched. In the midst of all of the difficulties, I found a little something that made me smile, and restored my faith in the world.

Thank you for this story, Diandra, you saved me from my summer blues. Muito obrigado. Continue reading “Double Happiness: A Brazilian-Chinese Love Story That Started With Football”

I Never Intended To Marry a Chinese Man

John and I on the day of our wedding ceremony“Did you always want to marry an Asian guy?” That’s what a friend of mine asked me the other night, a question that surprised me.

It’s not that I didn’t know what to say. “No, I never really even thought about it until going to China,” I told her. Then I landed in Zhengzhou, and met a super-sexy, sullen James Dean of a guy who just happened to be Chinese. And while I didn’t end up marrying him, he opened my eyes to a new reality — that I could find love with a Chinese man — that eventually led me to John.

Maybe her words shocked me because yellow fever, Asian fetishes — whatever you want to call it — just never entered into my own equation, and I know I’m not alone. Continue reading “I Never Intended To Marry a Chinese Man”