46 Responses

  1. Joel
    Joel November 8, 2010 at 4:03 am | | Reply

    re: the “not hot enough to get a Westerner” stereotype…

    no doubt people use this in reference to expat women, but I’ve only heard it, and I hear it routinely, in reference to expat ‘men’ (grown-up word for males used loosely here). In my experience, a much louder stereotype is that the Western deadbeats that come to China and chase women do so because women in their home countries aren’t interested in them (due to their looks, social awkwardness, lack or earning potential, pervy-ness, whatever). In China they have a much easier time, obviously. I can think of specific guys who are ‘successful’ with Chinese girls who embody this stereotype.

    I know some Western girls dating or married to Chinese guys who *don’t* fit this stereotype, though, meaning they’d be rated high by guys in North America as well. Don’t know any who would fit the stereotype you described, but then again, they kind of girls are rare, as you said.

    I have huge issues with the ideas and ideologies of Hollywood and certainly don’t want to defend it, but I think there’s much more to the Asian man stereotype than just Hollywood. Also, if we’re going to bring Hollywood into it, why not specifically bring up Chinese-American authors like Amy Tan (Joy Luck Club) — I’ve seen the worst portrayals of Chinese men from authors like her.
    Joel recently posted..The Great China Census of 2010- we done got counted- and a Chinese census joke

  2. melanie gao
    melanie gao November 8, 2010 at 7:31 am | | Reply

    Personally I like it when people mistake me for a Russian prostitute when I’m out with my Chinese husband. I mean at my age and after having 2 kids, I take that as a huge compliment.

    But I’m probably weird. :)
    melanie gao recently posted..Would you have stayed or left

  3. Xiaoheng
    Xiaoheng November 8, 2010 at 7:40 am | | Reply

    I think stereotype only exist in someone’s mind. But I do believe the movie of Hollywood sometimes gave some different image than the normal image of another culture’s men or women. Because watching a movie just like reading a book, you will never know what the real thing is, what the real man is or what the real woman is. To most of my Chinese friends, mainly male, western women are like desirable monster, well i dont know how they have such a idea. Because probably that is how you call stereotype from the perspective of my Chinese male friends. At least, in the point of view of most Chinese men think that Chinese women are the best wife in the world, because they care more about their family than western women. As Chinese men might think that western women focus on their personality rather than a family. Well, not all the western women looks like that, right? And not all the Chinese women are good wife, right? One example can not stand for the whole community. Rational thinking will bring us more deeper thought rather than judge something by the stereotype.

    I might say something wrong here, but I believe you can not say what I say here is not right.

  4. Kelly
    Kelly November 9, 2010 at 12:46 am | | Reply

    I’ve often wondered what goes on in people’s minds when they see my fiance and I. I know the initial thought is surprise, simply because it’s not common, but it’s interesting to hear what they might also be thinking after the shock wears off!

    My experience is that people most often assume he is my translator. :)

  5. Jessica
    Jessica November 9, 2010 at 2:47 am | | Reply

    I used to get the translator thing a lot — I wrote a blog post about it once a long time ago after this woman kept going on and on about my “translator” at the post office. This was after we pulled up together on our motorbike, me riding behind him, about 8 months pregnant with our first. Some people just don’t stop to think before they open their mouths.

    Here in Beijing I get the Russian thing a lot, they probably assume I’m a mistress or a prostitute or something, who knows! It used to bug me a lot but I figure it is probably because there are so many Russians in this part of the country and I have the right coloring, blonde, light eyes.

    I’ve also heard the comment that xiaoheng made above, about how we Westerners make bad wives because we don’t care about family. Which is so untrue, we just show our care for our families in entirely different ways in our cultures. This one used to bug me a lot too but you know, and if I’m honest, sometimes it still does, but at the end of the day getting worked up about people who believe these sorts of things is just not worth my time and energy. I guess the lives we’re are all quietly proving the stereotypes wrong.
    Jessica recently posted..Toughening Up

  6. Beth
    Beth November 9, 2010 at 6:26 pm | | Reply

    I get the Russian thing too (I’m blonde, blue-eyed). It’s insulting (no offense to Russians because I’ve met some lovely ones) because they just don’t think or care (the people that say this). But imagine if we called them Japanese (with how much Chinese people hate the Japanese). It’s the same thing. You don’t want to be mistaken for someone from a country so vastly different to your own.

    And the translator thing too times that I’ve actually been with Chinese guys. (Haha, as if I’d ever pay money for a translator in China, everyone here wants to be your translator for free).

    I love the Rush Hour quote, but seriously 成龍 isn’t an example of a Chinese hunk. Haha. But I like his son. His son is totally cute. <3333 ::sigh::

    As forrrr the “not hot enough to get a Westerner” stereotype. I think this is a joke. Almost NO girl is “not hot enough to get a Westerner” with the amount of ugly desperadoes in our countries that would take anything with breasts and legs they can find. There is no woman I have ever met unable to get a man in our countries. A GOOD man, that is a different story, but a man ANY girl can do that. ;)
    And who knows, maybe there's more GOOD men in China. So they should think about that before they judge. ;)

  7. V.B.
    V.B. November 10, 2010 at 10:20 pm | | Reply

    It seems that stereotypes about Chinese-Western relationships are quite similar, no matter who is the girl and who is the boy in that constellation. At least I have heard most of these arguments before in the context of Asian girl, Western guy relationships.

  8. Juliet
    Juliet November 14, 2010 at 7:33 am | | Reply

    I haven’t checked blogs in awhile (or blogged, for that matter. But I’m back at it now!) But I read this piece and just wanted to say thank you! Thankfully, we haven’t been confronted with any of these stereotypes. The thing I get a lot, though, is “why?” People ask me why I’m attracted to an Asian man. Really?! Is it really something that needs explaining? Love is love. Attraction is attraction. It’s that simple.
    Juliet recently posted..I live!

  9. Crystal
    Crystal November 14, 2010 at 1:11 pm | | Reply

    Past expat female friends of mine recounted onlookers muttering “Russian prostitute” as they walk by.

    Wow!
    That’s not just stereotype. That’s already DOUBLE stereotype :-)
    Crystal recently posted..English Names For Chinese

  10. Jane
    Jane November 16, 2010 at 11:00 pm | | Reply

    “Later, John confessed he brought me along as insurance, knowing he’d get more respect with a foreign wife by his side. (So much for credentials, eh?)”

    It doesn’t bother you that you are viewed as a trophy by your husband, by Chinese? That’s sick.

  11. Chaz
    Chaz January 13, 2011 at 4:24 am | | Reply

    My guess is the “not hot enough” sterotype comes from the idea that most western women don’t see Asian men as attractive (in a physical sense) thus its assumed that those western women who are considered ugly by western men are a prize to chinese men and people go for what they can get. I think this one is applied to those old western men with chinese women as well.

    Columbia University did a study on racial preferences in dating I think you’ll find interesting:

    Columbia University — with research and editing assistance from Harvard University, MIT, and Stanford University — conducted a study on racial preferences in interracial dating. The study was conducted over a two-year period between 2004 and 2007, involving thousands of participants, and the latest draft of the report was published in “Racial Preferences in Dating” in May 2007.

    From the study:

    “For male partners, our main finding is that Asians generally receive lower ratings than men of other races. In fact, when we run the regressions separately for each race, we find that even Asian women find white, black, and Hispanic men to be more attractive than Asian men.”

    The final analysis is that women have a stronger preference for dating within their own race than men, but men still have a preference for dating within their own race. The exception is Asian women who, on average, have no preference against dating white men.

    http://faculty.chicagobooth.edu/emir.kamenica/documents/racialpreferences.pdf

  12. Bruce
    Bruce January 13, 2011 at 11:10 am | | Reply

    PLEASE LADIES AND GENTLEMEN , DON’T GO BY THIS SURVEY / RESEARCH . Go out there and date/marry whoever you want to. You can date ASIAN MEN and any other men out there. Asian women culturally want men in general to take care of them that is why they have no preference against dating white men. If we keep on reading survey and sit on your ass , you will be a statistic ! I ignore all research on this Asian men thing research. Asian physically are smaller because of our diet and we are taught to focus education and making money and “maybe women will come along” . We are taugh to be POLITE. You know If you men and women out there keep on sterotyping on Asian men and only date/marry asian women ONLY, you’re hating , discrimmating and sterotyping the asian women’s fathers,too. “ASian men are weak asses , ugly, small , etc etc, that’s why nobody wants them”. You’re putting down those asian women families, ancestors , grandpas , fathers man. Listen , think first before we say something. I hope there will BE less sterotypes in White women and asian men. I REALLY SUPPORT white women/asian men relationship so there will be justice and equality in the western world!! Please ignore the Chinese MIL and move out and get married with your Chinese men. YOu don’t need Chinese MIL for approval. Asian Men should step up and stop sticking to this old tradition that you need his father or mother for approval !! I know I will ignore my mom if I believe in something. LISTEN TO THIS ASIAN MAN RIGHT HERE.

  13. Bruce
    Bruce January 13, 2011 at 11:20 am | | Reply

    You know asians are only made of 4% of U.S population and that consists of Japanese, CHinese , Vietnamese , Thai, Filipinos, Koreans in that 4%. I have noticed that people ( the majority , westerners) only talk about bad things or attributes on certain minorities only. People say that even you are big , tall and strong like a water buffalo, you will still be used by others.

  14. Bruce
    Bruce January 13, 2011 at 11:27 am | | Reply

    In order for a relationship to work out , don’t live with your Mother in laws or in laws. I don’t care if you’re asian, hispanic , blacks or white.

  15. Bruce
    Bruce January 13, 2011 at 11:49 am | | Reply

    I’m a married asian man . I have lots of knowledge regarding Chinese /Asian Mother in laws and Father in Laws and life in general because I work with people everyday. I see and hear things that normal people don’t hear about all the time. If you’re going to BAN asian men from dating/ marrying white women, you should BAN ASIAN WOMEN from marrying WHITE MEN , also!! I know majority of asian families and white families are HYPOCRITES ,also. Both whites and ASians are at fault . White families will say ” I can have you asian women but you can’t have our white women”. Asian families will say ” You can’t marry my sons , our bloodlines..but I don’t care about our daughters” In Asian culture, asian women are not that focused on regards to marriage , education but only this few decades. I hope everybody should listen to his/her own heart. Don’t go by societies.

    Thank you for listening to me .

  16. Bruce
    Bruce January 13, 2011 at 5:00 pm | | Reply

    That survey was done by some white people to further brainwash those people with tiny brains like peanuts and spread all over the media and internet. Explain to me why the divorce rate in America is 50%? I thought White women have higher ratings with all other nationalities EXCEPT Asian men but look at the divorce rate man ? Is the the survey contradicting itself? ” I pick you as my partner because you’re attractive as hell . I love your physique. I love you. I love you. I love you :) but I’m getting a divorce next week/month.Why baby ? :) because we’re not compatible anymore ” Have you people heard about Bruce Lee ? He was discriminated and rejected by the U.S media/movies industries ( Hollywood) because he was ASIAN! To make the story short, after his death, the whole world wanted to find out and know more about this person called “Bruce Lee”.He is famous worldwide til now and beyond not because he is an Asian man. It’s because he broke the sterotype barrier and brought East and West together. Doesn’t matter if you white , blacks , red, green or alien , I will teach you JEt Kwon Do ( Kung Fu). Google Bruce Lee and read about what he had to go thru. Even until today, Asian men like Bruce Lee still get sterotyped in the media. The media still can’t believe that Asian men/women salaries are the HIGHEST in America. Do you believe that?I’m asian myself and I was surprised ,too. How come they don’t do a research/survey to kick Asian men all the way down to the bottom of the list when it comes to Income?? UC universities in California and other universities are dominated by Asians and they don’t want more Asians to be admitted . Why don’t they do any survey to kick out asian doctors, engineers , computer scientists etc due to poor work performance and put all those basketball , baseball , football players to do those “SISSY UNMANLY ” JOBS? In order to make assumption about Asian people , we need more data . Do you have close friends that are asian men/asian women? I still get sterotyped too my friend! I am 6’1″ 207lbs. bench press 315lbs incline , leg press 1000lbs. bounce my chest all the time. Make over 6 figures salaries a yr. I’m writing so much here because I want all you people to know that only judge a person by his/her character not by his/her own ethnicity or skin color!!!!!!!! I constantly have to talk/ educate people either my neighbors , friends , customers/clients to get a better understanding of each other cultures. . I strongly APPROVE white women/ asian men and white men/asian women relationship/marriage to balance out discrimination. You can’t have one group more than other group that will lead to more hatred toward another side. It’s called hypocrites.

  17. igglepiggle
    igglepiggle January 16, 2011 at 6:48 pm | | Reply

    The sexiest guy alive is half oriental – Keanu Reeves!

  18. ftc
    ftc February 5, 2011 at 4:01 pm | | Reply

    the chinamen are ugly as hell!
    as for their women, I often wonder why god has put them on earth.

  19. Sarah
    Sarah February 23, 2011 at 4:34 am | | Reply

    One stereotype came up this week at one of my boyfriends work parties. He was out with some Chinese workmates, a Chinese couple I had never met them. My boyfriend came home and told me my friends wife was very interested about you…. I was like oh why? Because she has never ever heard of an Irish girl dating a Chinese guy. and she asked some funny questions like “is she a bit silly? Why is she dating a Chinese guy and not an Irish guy?”

    I guess it relates to the “not hot enough for a western man.” but it really annoyed me. I don’t know what she was trying to infer but it felt like she was saying I must be mad for dating a Chinese guy and my boyfriend must be desperate for a visa to date me.

  20. BRUCE
    BRUCE February 23, 2011 at 9:27 am | | Reply

    Sarah,

    Please don’t be annoyed by those comments from anybody period. There will always be comments coming from any combinations of couples ( AMWF, WMAF, AMAF ,WMWF ,etc). Even Chinese men that are married to Vietnamese women have comments from Vietnamese people too like “why this Vietnamese woman doesn’t go with Vietnamese man, instead she goes with this CHinese man ( he also speaks Vietnamese )?” or vice versa. So Asians have sterotypes WITHIN Asians,too(Koreans, Japanese ,etc) . Lots of my Vietnamese male friends have Chinese wives, too. Chinese people sterotype Chinese people also depending on which parts of China you’re living. I have realized one thing in life. Comments from others will not kill you and people that “play” you will not kill you either. Only GOD “plays” you will kill you. NARROW MINDED people will have such comments to tell you the truth. Sarah, it’s wonderful that you see your bf as a person and not because he’s Chinese.

  21. Cec
    Cec March 16, 2011 at 1:02 pm | | Reply

    Asian men are hot. You cant explain atraction. I like White and asian men. I dont feel atractted to black people (that doesnt mean i find theyre ugly, i just dont think about sex with them).
    Plus, i think half asian-half white people are an improveement in beauty, so lets marry and have beautiful babies :P
    But returning to serious now, you marry who you like, and whom you feel attracted to, and nobody cant tell you what features to like, cause is something you cant rationalize.

  22. Apple
    Apple May 6, 2011 at 2:16 am | | Reply

    Is it just me or are there more Western woman- Chinese man couples in Beijing? It seemed that way, when I visited the capital last month. Anyway, here in Shanghai you certainly don’t see many of us.

    As for the streretypes, yes I too have been mistaken for a Russian prostitute when I’m out with my bf. And that is something I just don’t understand. I mean, I’m small and pretty and my bf is tall and handsome, so it’s not like we’re a mismatch couple consisting of an old fat guy and a hot young girl. Why would anyone assume I was a hooker?
    Another strange phenomenon is some Western men coming hitting on me whem I’m clearly out on a date with my Chinese bf. This never happened to me when I dated Western men. As one drunk Brit put it, “But you’re hot, why do you need to date Chinese guys?”
    This really left me speechless.

  23. BRUCE
    BRUCE May 6, 2011 at 8:25 pm | | Reply

    Apple,

    Some western men are rude, have no respect for others. This kind of behavior was learned when they were young until now. Who would freaking look around to see hot taken women to tell them to you should not date “these kind of men”? Any men will get pissed if someone hit on their women and they do it in front of you ,too. What kind of scumbags are these people? If I see a hot Chinese woman with a White man, I will never ever in my lifetime will say “but you’re hot , why do you need to date White guys”!!!!It’s called privacy ( personal space), it’s none of anybody’s business. If this ever occur to me in front of my woman, depending on my mood and emotion, I might kick that guy’s ass. No matter how big or strong he is. You know in life, you can only push a person to the edge once or twice and you don’t know how you will react the next time. In Asian cultures, we always try to show respect for others even we don’t like what we see. If you have western men hitting on women like , they just want to get laid. I don’t think they want to have a healthy relationship or marriage PERIOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  24. BRUCE
    BRUCE May 6, 2011 at 8:41 pm | | Reply

    If men say something like that in front of you and your bf/husband, these kinds of men are indeed control freaks! Maybe it’s a game just to get you and once they have what they want it , they just fade away and go to the next target.

  25. Apple
    Apple May 6, 2011 at 9:30 pm | | Reply

    Yes, that kind of behaviour is unacceptable and totally inappropriate. Just funny how we never encountered that type of Western men in Europe or the U.S. Seems there are more Western men behaving badly here in Shanghai!

  26. BRUCE
    BRUCE May 7, 2011 at 8:51 am | | Reply

    Do you know why? They are out of their ” comfort zone” and they think they are all that and a bag of chips but they’re not and they will put you on a roller coaster ride .They think they can be wild men again. People have to understand that the women have to reciprocate though . If those women listen to those phases and go for it, then these women have no brains and no substance. Having this kind of woman is like not having at all!! If I were that man, I would say ” please go and don’t ever call or come back again, no need to explain anything. Millions of other women will enjoy my qualities. Get the F… out of here ” Trust me she will call and come back and then you go for the finale , close the door and throw the phone in the trash can ( because she left you for a freaking stranger for some “fun” and now she realized that other man lacked qualities , only about fun etc). I have heard in the past and my Chinese friends and I have done similar techniques and they did work . Normally,a Chinese man will not take back his woman regardless of race when she’s at fault. I know a few stories personally but I won’t tell here. darn it :(. When men say that directly to you on a date regardless of race, does that make you think about their characters? Smart women are looking for quality mates nowadays.If a person just thinks about playing around without commitment then that’s fine. You know what you get into. In some cities, when a man steals another man’s woman, both man and woman shall be drown to dead in a cage or the whole village will come over and murder you if they want to. That’s in the past but don’t know if they practice that in Indonesia. I don’t know maybe in Western society , they like to celebrate Spring Break( drinking and picking up chicks or picking up dudes and don’t think about what’s going to happen tomorrow. Just plain fun. just like college yrs). It’s all about fun( dating around) for some men! Do you think Western women will say the same ? ” Why you need to date Chinese girls? date me ” I think Western men watch too much movies regarding Asian men. We don’t open our mouth, but in our mind we really want to hurt those people who are so rude. Maybe Western men think they’re arrogant ,taller and heavier so they can intimidate or bully Chinese men ? You know that once you’re being bully all the time, you will snap at a certain point. The bullies will get hurt really bad somehow , some way. Anyway, I hate how men think or act out their regardless of countries or race!!! Can we all get along w/o hatred ? :) Please show some respects out there!

  27. Punter
    Punter February 21, 2012 at 6:33 am | | Reply

    Asian men are always being deteriorate in western media and movies, it reflects the insecurity of white males(particularly those love both white women and Asian women).

    In Hollywood movies, Asian men are portraited as rats, white men are portriated as good looking hero and whom the women will finally fall in love. Not only in movies, but also daily living in Western countries you as an Asian male(particularly if you’re good looking) can feel this kind of jealousy and hates from white males. Its common to see white men dating Asian women, but when white girls date Asian guys, racist react from white men(it doesn’t happen the other way around dunno why, probably because many still have the white race superiority thinking inside)

  28. Bruce
    Bruce February 21, 2012 at 7:50 am | | Reply

    You guys can search on all the websites in America and you will find more white males than asian males are looking for Asian females not vice versa. Maybe asian males don’t look for dates on the internets?

  29. Ksg
    Ksg May 8, 2012 at 12:45 am | | Reply

    I am ABC with a very light skinned girlfriend with almost pure eastern Europe descendent. ( reason I mention that is because you know some of the negative “mail order” bride of EE woman) even though she is fully American in manner and obviously isn’t green card chasing since she was born here.

    I have never been back to China yet with her, but I have gone to many Chinatowns in the US since we both love the food. Def. see a lot of stares. Especially, when she’s all dressed up on our outings.

    Wonder what people will think when we do go to China?

  30. Asia POWA!
    Asia POWA! July 16, 2012 at 9:09 am | | Reply

    LOl Funny article. I am Singaporean Born Chinese and I lived my life through out in the Netherlands and I dated all my life with brunets, blond girls. At the end who cares if your black / brown / white or yellow?

  31. oegukeen
    oegukeen October 27, 2012 at 2:39 am | | Reply

    This is the same thing I encounter with having a Korean boyfriend. Except there is the whole extra set of stereotypes because of popularity of K-pop and Korean drama. I wrote a post about it recently.

    In a way, we have to deal with both the stereotypes that western women dating Asian men deal with, plus the same stereotypes western men deal with when dating Asian women – yellow fever and such.

  32. askdsk
    askdsk October 27, 2012 at 7:36 am | | Reply

    @oegukeen
    How big is K-pop these days?

  33. Luke M.
    Luke M. January 3, 2013 at 1:26 pm | | Reply

    I have a Chinese-American girlfriend, an African-American girlfriend, a Moroccan girlfriend, and a Ukrainian girlfriend. I travel extensively and find that my preferences in woman are quite extensive.

    The most important issue is the quality of the relationship.

    1. G
      G December 30, 2013 at 8:39 pm | | Reply

      i doubt it bro, wheres your money and status? No pictures to show either and you’re name linked to viagra LOL. If your from america dose are the only 2 things I swing arund with me being fit and a $90000 sallary, and the only 2 things il ever need here. If you’re from the states, upload dem facebook and instagram or stfu.

  34. Nita
    Nita April 5, 2013 at 6:05 am | | Reply

    I think the blame should fall equally on both sides for bringing people up with these stereotypes about one another. It is important to go into such a situation with clear eyes and an open mind. You cannot know a culture or race just by possibly knowing a Korean man for example. You have to experience the people and the culture firsthand to truly know them.

    Up until that point it is merely an outsiders somewhat ignorant (or if not ignorant than unaware) opinion that you possess. I also think many people are afraid to date outside of their own culture for the risk of leaving their comfort zone and having to tackle an entirely new set of principles and rules in dating culture.

    It can be intimidating for a lot of us particularly for someone who is shy or introverted to know how to handle such situations and therefore prefer to avoid them entirely. I personally think Asian men are very attractive they have youthful skin, good complexion, very clean teeth, nice hair, they have a very funny and different sense of humour, I like their dress sense and they smell good. (That sounds creepy ^^, I just like people who have good hygiene)

    Though I’m an extrovert so I have no problem approaching or striking up a conversation first with someone I like. I also don’t get embarrassed easily by what other people say or think. I prefer to live with as little judgement and negativity as possible. I think its wiser and more fulfilling to be welcoming and accept everyone, rather than try to hold back the inevitable.

    Though I’m not sure how well this forwardness would go in China ^^.

  35. Crystal
    Crystal May 20, 2013 at 3:23 pm | | Reply

    I think it’s great that Asian men are dating non-Asian women, but they should be aware that eventually the same racist lies will be spread about them and their interracial relationships that have been spread about Asian women in interracial relationships for years, by Asian men. I look forward to the day when Asian men get a taste of their own medicine, when they are referred to as self-haters, sell-outs, trying to assimilate into white society, and man whores, when their relationships are also trashed and misrepresented by lies.

  36. Allen
    Allen May 21, 2013 at 3:54 am | | Reply

    ^
    “I LOOK FORWARD TO THE DAY when Asian men get a taste of their own medicine, when they are referred to as self-haters, sell-outs, trying to assimilate into white society, and man whores, when their relationships are also trashed and misrepresented by lies.”

    You must be giddy with excitement, like a kid on Christmas Eve. I’m actually more concerned about going to be said about the non-Asian woman in the relationship. Worse things/lies have been said about Asian men whether they are in relationships or not.

    Perhaps idiots like Jenny An deserve some of the blame, eh?

    http://www.xojane.com/it-happened-to-me/asian-woman-dating-asian-men-jenny-an

    http://www.xojane.com/issues/recognizing-my-internal-racism-as-an-asian-woman-is-the-only-way-for-me-to-fix-it

  37. Nina
    Nina July 4, 2013 at 5:01 pm | | Reply

    Yeah, you tell a few times about the common stereotypes of Asian men in your blog and I always thought “Did I just grow up surrounded by the right people?”, because I had never encountered these stereotypes (other than in Hollywood movies, it seems, but I never thought about that there). I’m currently living in a pretty closed-minded , conservative society (ex-Soviet country) and you do get the occasional stares, but friends and family have been nothing but nice and supportive about it. We’re just both seen as the two individuals we are, the only interesting thing being that we’re both foreigners who found each other here. So I guess it’s right that those stereo-types are “anglosphere” stereotypes.

  38. Eva Lee
    Eva Lee September 22, 2013 at 2:42 pm | | Reply

    Because she’s studying Chinese and psycholinguistics, my daughter spent two months in China this past summer. As she spoke Mandarin as much as she could, people weren’t sure of her country of origin by her language or accent, and they often asked if she was Russian. I was curious as to whether this is a compliment or not, and in trying to figure this out, I ran across your blog.

    I have two statements that may not be here or there as I have little experience with the Asian man/ Western woman stereotype, and I don’t think one way or another when I see them. First, though I find Hollywood rather slow in correcting these stereotypes, I loved Jay Chou in Green Hornet and Harry Shum, Jr. in Glee, and Godfrey Gao may have been the best actor in City of Bones, so I would like to see more Asians as leads in Hollywood movies. Second, my daughter did come home with a rather negative image of Chinese men based on their practice of rolling their shirts above their bellies. Also, because she wants a child that looks like her and Asian genes are dominant, she says she likely won’t marry an Asian male unless she falls so deeply for him that her own vanity doesn’t matter any more.

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