Guest Post: 9 Powerful ‘AMWF Superman’ Photos to ‘Save’ Your Day

Enjoy this powerful AMWF Superman photo collaboration by Ana Hudson, a new model and photographer hitting the scene. This is part of her portfolio titled “Project Justice”, the first of many more photoshoots like this to come.

She was inspired to contact me by my open call for photos of AMXF (Asian male, non-Asian female) couples. (Incidentally, that open call helped me gather enough photos to publish a January post of 25 More Stunning Photos of Western Women & Asian Men Who Got Married or Engaged)

But Ana offered something different — to share her own work photographing couples in the community.

Next month, Ana will be submitting another superhero shoot. What superhero would you like to see? Let us know in the comments!




In love, we are enthralled and never entitled. We screen the world with our sight- we see opportunities and claim them. We are wise beyond words, we know how to know.



We don’t let rules define us. They make lines for us, but we violently blur them. We float on the skies as their eyes burn is misery. We stand powerful, even against Kryptonite.



The world softens as love glows between us. We pave wonders for the world to witness- we shall love and conquer to set an example for the future. Love will save the day.

Credits:
Models: Justin Zhang, fitness coach and Youtuber ” (IG: NoobStrength) and
Angelina Bower, beautiful fashion model (IG: musicloveandlies)
Photographer: Ana Hudson (WhiteChocolatePlayer)

If you are an AMXF couple in the Los Angeles area, Ana Hudson would love to offer you a free/donations accepted photoshoot. To find out more information about planning a photoshoot you can reach her at [email protected]


Speaking of China is always on the lookout for outstanding guest posts! If you have something you’d like us to feature, visit the submit a post page for details — and then submit yours today.

Australian Women Who Married Indonesian Men, Supported Indonesian Independence in 1940s

In the story of Indonesia’s fight for independence in the 1940s, Australian women were a part of the cause — and for some of them, it became personal enough to change their lives forever.

These Australian women married Indonesian men.

For some, their personal relationships brought them into the cause for Indonesian independence. For others, it was politics that led them to forge these relationships. But regardless, this happened at a time when racial segregation was still enforced in Australia.

One of these women was Lotte Maramis. Her husband Anton was among the Indonesians in exile in Australia after Japanese invasion. While Lotte wasn’t initially that politically active, that changed through her relationship with Anton. She met him through social gatherings in private homes:

Lotte fell in love with Anton Maramis, a Manadonese petty officer, and married him with her family’s support, although she battled much antagonism from the broader Australian public she encountered. Many other young Australian women faced strong opposition from families and friends to the decisions they made to marry their Indonesian fiancés and return with them to their homes once Independence had been declared.

But Lotte’s relationship with Anton was one that “proved strong enough to embrace and flourish in the very different society and cultures they found in Indonesia.”

Australian Molly Bondan offers a different example — for her, politics came first and then led to those personal relationships that developed into marriage:

Molly moved from helping to set up the new Australia-Indonesia Society, to developing a personal relationship with Mohammed Bondan, an ex-Digulist who was active contacting the new Indonesian government. Bondan and Molly moved to Brisbane in September 1945 to set up CENKIM, the Central Committee for Indonesian Intelligence and Molly herself took on a role operating the radio to receive broadcasts from the Republican government and writing the press releases to circulate the news. She married Bondan and they began a life together which continued when she joined him in Indonesia where she remained for the rest of her life.

In fact, after moving to Indonesia with their husbands, Molly and Lotte remained involved in supporting the newly independent country. They served as interpreters and journalists, and covered some major stories (such as the first Afro-Asian conference in Bandung 1955).

If you would like to read the full piece in detail, head on over to the website for the Australia National Maritime Museum and read Personal and Political — Australian Women and Indonesian Independence.

What do you think of this story?

Guest Post: When I Think of Seoul, I Think of Flesh and Sweat and Sighs of Pleasure

An anonymous reader who calls herself “Nasty Woman” sent in this story of what she describes as “the absolutely red-hot but short-lived affair I had with an Asian man while on vacation, the sexiest man I’ve ever known.”

Do you have a sensational love affair or other story worth sharing here on Speaking of China. Have a look at the submit a post page to learn how to have your words featured here.
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Last month, I visited Asia with a friend for the first time. The plan was to go to Tokyo, Kyoto, Osaka and then Beijing over the course of almost three weeks. Reading all the sweet, romantic love stories on this blog, I feel a little naughty sharing this one, because it’s a story of pure lust and not much else. I hope that’s OK – I figured since Asian men are undersexualized in American culture we could use a story about the absolutely red-hot but short-lived affair I had with an Asian man while on vacation, the sexiest man I’ve ever known. Seriously ladies, buckle up.

I fit the stereotype of the sexually liberated Western woman pretty well. I prefer meaningful, loving relationships but certainly don’t say no to casual sex when the opportunity arises. While in Japan, I downloaded Tinder and did meet up with someone but wasn’t really attracted to him, so that didn’t go anywhere. I was having a great time with my friend so I didn’t care all that much about meeting guys anyway. On our last night in Osaka, though, things changed.

I was getting ready to go out drinking by the river with my friend, and when I came downstairs to the hostel lobby, I saw that she was chatting with a guy staying at the hostel. He was a very handsome solo traveler from Seoul and the friend that I was traveling with was half-Korean/half-Chinese, so they were just casually making conversation. When I found out he could also speak excellent English, I joined in on the conversation and liked him immediately. I invited him out drinking with us, and we had a fun time getting drunk and getting to know each other.

It wasn’t long before he and I started to basically third-wheel my friend. I’ll never forget the moment we were sitting next to each other, across the table from my friend at a bar, and he put his hand on my knee. I had been flirting pretty heavily by then so his touch was electric. I slid his hand further up my thigh and by the time we left, we were groping each other right in between the legs (classy, I know). Because I was drunk I thought all of this had gone unnoticed by my friend but she later told me she saw all of it. Ha ha!

So at this point he and I know it’s going down, it’s just a matter of time. We all get in a cab together back to the hostel and manage to stay civilized in the cab and on the walk back. A few minutes later, we’re all in the hostel bathroom, brushing our teeth, and I hop in the shower. When I get out of the shower, he’s the only one in the bathroom. We just look at each other, and for the first time all night, I feel shy. He’s standing near the door and I start to walk towards the door, maintaining eye contact with him the whole time. When I get near him, he puts his arm on my waist, and in what felt like a millisecond, we were kissing passionately and the clothes were coming right off.

So because this isn’t an erotica blog I won’t get into the details but let me tell you something ladies: even as a sexually free Western woman who has had a handful of partners, I have never felt more like a goddess or more out of my mind with lust and pleasure than I did with this man. He checks off literally every fantasy that you dream about in a sexual partner – giving and sweet but also strong and passionate, adventurous and hungry but also considerate and gentle. It was, without a question, the best sex I’ve ever had. I still shiver thinking about it.

The next day, my friend left for her flight to Beijing, while my flight was booked for the late afternoon. I had originally planned on doing more sightseeing, but instead I spent the whole morning in his arms. Because we had more time and space to ourselves, it was more sensual and slow and loving than the night before. It was almost like we were in love and on our honeymoon. When the time came to head out, he saw me off to the airport and could not have been more of a gentleman. I think I saw an interview where Jocelyn said that Asian men take care of their women – girl, he TOOK CARE of me, in so many ways. Despite knowing him for so little time, saying goodbye to him really did make me sad, and I couldn’t stop thinking about him and wishing our time together wasn’t over.

Well, as it turns out, it wasn’t! We kept in touch while I was in China, and he told me I was welcome to visit him in South Korea anytime. I wasn’t sure if that was ever going to happen, but as it turns out, our China plans were changing. My friend was initially planning to bring me along to meet the Chinese side of her family, but she’d had a change of heart, wanting to go alone since she wasn’t sure if she’d have another chance to see her grandparents. Voila – I had a few extra days in my itinerary, which she suggested I spend in Shanghai. But I had a better idea.

When I think of Seoul, I think of flesh and sweat and sighs of pleasure. The memory of his lips on mine, his hands on my body, still gives me goosebumps. We did do a lot of sightseeing together and he was the sweetest, most considerate traveling companion, but the sex and lust was just so out of this world that the regular stuff fades into the background. We still keep in touch as friends and his apartment is my No. 1 destination for the next time I go to Seoul.
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Speaking of China is always on the lookout for outstanding guest posts! If you have something you’d like us to feature, visit the submit a post page for details — and then submit yours today.

Are China’s AMWF Couples Rarer Just Because Only 25% of Foreigners in China Are Women?

A couple weeks ago, I happened to share a Global Times article titled, “When a Chinese Man Loves a White Woman”, which mentioned me and this blog. Naturally, it generated some conversation on social media. One of the comments came from a guy, asking why the author hadn’t mentioned the preponderance of male foreigners as a reason for the rarity of couples of Western women and Chinese men in China.

For those of you who don’t know, approximately 75 percent of the foreign population in China is in fact male.

It would be tempting to point to this gender imbalance as the primary explanation for why couples of Western women and Asian men are such a minority. But if you did, you’d be missing the big picture.

After all, this gender imbalance fails to explain why there are so few AMWF couples around the world, and why even Chinese American men don’t feel the love from their fellow Americans (see the essay “Are Asian Men Undateable?”). If Asian men who were born and raised in the West have it tough in the dating world, we could hardly expect better for Asian foreign men who come to the West for work or education.

I would argue, then, that even if the foreign population in China was equally split among gender – 50 percent female and 50 percent male – you would still see an imbalance in the interracial dating world in China. You would still see far more couples of Western men and Asian women, and far fewer couples of Western women and Asian men.

The reality is, prejudices and stereotypes are slow to fade. Even 50 years after the Loving versus Virginia US Supreme Court decision, interracial couples still feel the sting of discrimination from their fellow Americans (as reported by NPR). Meanwhile, Hollywood has an abysmal record when it comes to featuring interracial romance on the screen overall (and we’re not even talking about just AMWF couples here).

It’s going to take a lot more than enticing more foreign women to come to China to boost the numbers of Western women and Asian men in love over here.

P.S.: If you’re wondering why couples of Western women and Asian men are so rare, have a look at On the Rarity of Foreign Women and Chinese Boyfriends/Chinese Husbands. See also my piece for the Huffington Post titled Why Won’t Western Women Date Chinese Men?

3 Stereotypes About Asian Men I’m Tired Of Hearing

My marriage to a Chinese man wasn’t just the culmination of a beautiful love affair. It also kicked off the start of a new education for me, his white American wife. A true initiation into the world of racism, prejudice, and all of those unfortunate stereotypes I wish Westerners didn’t have about Asians, including Asian men.

Here are 3 stereotypes about Asian men that I’m tired of hearing:

#1: Asians = great at computers

I can’t tell how many times people have told me, “Wow, your husband is SO great with computers!”

Whenever I hear that, I want to flash them a painful grimace. As if I just witnessed that person step right into a big, smelly pile of…you know.

Seriously, people. Just because my husband knows how to delete the trash files from your iPad – and is Asian — doesn’t mean he’s the almighty computer guru. In fact, I’m the one who troubleshoots our tech problems, from deciphering error messages on the PC to configuring a complicated wifi network at home.

Being Asian doesn’t automatically make someone a wizard at things like math, science and medicine. But if you think otherwise, that definitely makes you naïve.

#2: Asian men are short

True story. An academic in America once had the audacity to tell my husband Jun, “All Asians are short, right?”

Cue face in palm.

You know, it’s easy to see a couple like Jun and me together, and then draw that kind of conclusion. But once again, you’re mucking around in stereotypes, as Alex Tizon reminds us in his wonderful memoir Big Little Man:

Are all Asian people small, and have they always been so?

The answer to both questions is no — a fact commonly known among educated Asians and Westerners who have traveled widely through Asia….

Today, the giant men of the Chinese national basketball teams, whose centers are among the tallest in the world, almost all come from northern and central China. The former Houston Rockets standout center Yao Ming is seven foot six, which even among tall nationalities is aberrantly tall…. Up until 2009, both the tallest man and the tallest women in the world hailed from northern and central China…. The tallest woman on record, Zeng Jelling, who died in 1982, was eight foot one.

Anecdotal records indicate that, during the time of the first waves of Chinese migration to America, men of northern China averaged about five foot seven, with a fair number exceeding six feet. This would have been roughly equivalent to the height of white male conscripts in the U.S. Army and many European immigrants of the time.

Now you know. (P.S.: I highly recommend Alex Tizon’s memoir Big Little Man – check out my interview with him from a few years back.)

#3: Any question about the size of an Asian man’s penis

Who in the Asian community – or in an interracial relationship with someone Asian — hasn’t heard this lamest of all stereotypes? It’s right on par with toilet humor, and ought to be flushed into oblivion.

I’ve noticed that, by and large, it’s men who seem content to hurl this one into conversations. Usually anonymously, in a really seedy Internet hangout. Or in a typo-ridden comment… the kind that ends up in your spam folder.

In my opinion, any guy who goes around speculating about the size of someone’s manhood already has serious inferiority issues. Or just needs to get a life.

I love what Ranier of The Love Life of an Asian Guy wrote a few years back on this:

…to my Asian brothers out there: don’t give any guy, girl, or internet troll two seconds of your time when they joke about your dick. Your wang is the wangiest of all wangs. Keep it up, hold it proud, and use it wisely. After all, 60% of the world’s population is Asian which means one thing: we may have a negative stereotype about our shlongs, but at least we’re getting laid.

Exactly.

What stereotypes are you tired of hearing?

Guest Post: Odd Questions I’ve Heard About My Interracial Love

Anyone who has ever dated outside their race will relate to this wonderful guest post by Chi, who blogs at Talking of Chinese.

Do you have a guest post you’d like to see featured on Speaking of China? Visit the submit a post page to learn how to have your words published here.
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The vast majority of people (whether consciously or unconsciously) date and marry within their own race.

According to Wikipedia, 97% of married white men and women in America are married to another white person, 89% of married black men and women are married to another black person and 91% of married Asian men and women are married to another Asian person.

If you happen to be in the less than 4% (according to Wikipedia only 3.9% of married couples in the US in 2008 were interracial couples – this is a big increase from less than 1% in 1990 but still an extremely low percentage) you are almost certain to get a question or comment about your interracial relationship at some point.

Both my fiance and I are Australian. I was born in Australia to anglo parents, he was born in China to Chinese parents.

While most people I’ve encountered don’t (at least openly) say anything about us being an interracial couple, I have encountered curiosity from both westerners and Asians as well as a few rare comments that are at least misguided if not racist.

The most common question I have gotten from Asians is a surprised “but how did you meet/get together with a Chinese guy?” while I’ve had both Asians and white people ask if I am “attracted to Asians”.

The first question stems mostly from curiosity, I think. While it’s fairly common to see white men with Asian women it is far more rare to see Asian men with white women (although I am happy to see it does seem to be getting more common).

The first question is also easy to answer – we were flatmates, we didn’t get along at all at first but slowly became friends and eventually fell in love.

The second question I honestly find bizarre. Imagine you asked that of a white person who was dating another white person “so, you are attracted to white people?”

No, I am not attracted to white people, or Asians, or black people or any race.

I am attracted to the man I am with because of WHO he is not what race he is.

I am attracted to him because he is strong but also prepared to show true vulnerability with me (something I have found to be incredibly rare).

I am attracted to him because he takes responsibility (for himself, for his decisions, for his family). He doesn’t expect anything from anyone.

I am attracted to him because he has an adventurous spirit and finds ways things can be done rather than putting them in the too hard basket.

I am attracted to him because he doesn’t shy away from things that are difficult, he faces challenges as they come up.

I am attracted to him because he knows what he wants and is prepared to work hard for it.

I am attracted to him because he prioritises what’s important to him and doesn’t let other things or other people run his life.

I am attracted to him because he’s upfront, he doesn’t manipulate or play games.

I am attracted to him because he is great at solving problems, an excellent traveller and can fix things.

Most of all I am attracted to him because we get each other on a level I find hard to explain – I haven’t felt this in any other relationship (even one that lasted for years).

Also, I think he’s pretty cute and his snuggles are second to none 🙂

Chi (her real name, no exotic background, pronounced Chai, like the tea) is engaged to a man who was born in China and grew up in Argentina before immigrating to Australia. Chi writes about her experiences (mostly her struggles trying to learn Mandarin) at www.talkingofchinese.com. —–

Speaking of China is always on the lookout for outstanding guest posts! If you have something you’d like us to feature, visit the submit a post page for details — and then submit yours today.

5 Reasons You Must See Hayden Szeto in “The Edge of Seventeen” – Pub’d on WWAM Bam

The group blog WWAM Bam (Western Women & Asian Men – Breaking All Molds) just published my post titled 5 Reasons You Must See Hayden Szeto in “The Edge of Seventeen”. Here’s an excerpt:

Whenever I think of Hollywood teen movies, I cringe.

It’s bad enough that white actors get all the best roles, with almost no exceptions. But a Hollywood teen movie also gave the world one of the most racist, stereotypical portrayals of Asian men ever – Long Duk Dong in the John Hughes’ movie Sixteen Candles. Talk about one enormous “screw you” to the whole Asian community, including the many talented Asian male actors out there who deserve better roles and representation.

Thank goodness for the new teen movie The Edge of Seventeen, just released in late 2016.

The film features one of the most refreshingly unstereotypical portrayals of an Asian man in a teen movie – the breakout role of Erwin Kim, played by Hayden Szeto.

And surprisingly, The Edge of Seventeen even shares some common ground with, of all movies, Sixteen Candles (Vanity Fair noted “Steinfeld’s character is derivative of Molly Ringwald circa Sixteen Candles”). Who’d have thought?

If you’re hungry for a good teen movie, one with a positive portrayal of an Asian guy, you must see The Edge of Seventeen, featuring Hayden Szeto. Here are 5 reasons why:

To find out those five reasons — and feast your eyes on some cool GIFs at the same time — head on over to WWAM Bam to read the full article.

Join the New Group Blog for Western Women Who Love Asian Men

%e5%b1%8f%e5%b9%95%e5%bf%ab%e7%85%a7-2017-01-02-%e4%b8%8b%e5%8d%884-11-21We’re starting off 2017 with a bam. Or, more specifically, a WWAM Bam!

WWAM BamWestern Women & Asian Men, Breaking All Molds — is a new group blog for Western women who love Asian men. I’m a part of it, along with a number of writers and bloggers you may already know including Susan Blumberg-Kason (author of Good Chinese Wife),  Laura of Our Chinese Wedding, Becky of BeckyAnces.net, Kimberly of Nama Mama, and Susie of the Daily Susily.

Here’s an excerpt from the About Us page:

We are a group of women from a Western background who are dating or married to men from an Asian culture. AMWF (Asian Male Western Female) couples, or WWAMs (Western Women Asian Men) as we prefer to call them, have in the past been few and far between but in this increasingly globalized world are becoming more common every day. Still, there are cultural differences that such couples will face and our site is here to help you navigate them. At the same time, we make it our mission to weed through the racism and stereotypes about Asian men and culture out there. We all know the truth is never just black and white (or yellow for that matter).

Aside from gripping personal experiences of relationships with Asian men and their families, and of raising AMWF children, this site takes a look at the portrayal of Asian men in Western media and reviews AMWF related productions. We furthermore will spotlight the amazing women out there who have made Asia their family; past and present.

If you are interested in contributing or have any questions, send an email to [email protected]

We’re on the lookout for Western women who love Asian men and writing. You could be a regular contributor or even just a one-time guest poster. If you’d like to be a part of our new group blog, email us at [email protected]

And to my fans here at Speaking of China, yes, I’ll continue to blog here at Speaking of China twice every week.

Wishing everyone a wonderful 2017!

Is Interracial Dating Easier for Asian Men in Non-English-Speaking Countries?

(Photo by Eleazar via Flickr.com)
(Photo by Eleazar via Flickr.com)

When I recently shared my classic HuffPost piece Why Won’t Western Women Date Chinese Men? some of you spoke up to tell me I missed something.

Here’s what one anonymous e-mailer had to say:

… I have heard from a multitude of sources that places like Bali, France, Holland, Russia (and other eastern European countries) as well as various Latin American countries have the disparity between Asian men paired with local women vs vice versa as either being near equal or vastly skewed in favor of Asian males. I just wanted to point out that our dating situation is not so extremely pathetic in every part of the world as your article may make us out to be. From what I hear amongst Asian male travelers abroad is that the dating scene for Asian men is most bleak in Anglo nations. [Emphasis added]

Comments like this reminded me of the following quote in a piece in SFGate on interracial dating for Asian Men:

Any sexual imbalances that exist due to the unique alchemy of sex, race and class in the United States fade in the face of a globalized world; one in which the playing field is different, and so are the players and rules. In the Caribbean, for instance, intermarriages between black women and Asian men are relatively common. In fact, asserts AznLover member David Nghiem, a globetrotter who recently completed an epic bicycle trip across the entire length of Latin America, “Outside of the ‘anglosphere’ — North America, England, Australia and New Zealand — things are completely different. Asian men are in general seen as dateable, sexy and interesting. Most of the world has their own media, in their own languages and subtleties, and Hollywood’s attempts to spread stereotypes about Asian men and their sexuality literally stops at the anglosphere’s edge, simply because the rest of the world doesn’t understand it and doesn’t care.” [Emphasis added]

So, is the interracial dating scene friendlier to Asian men when you leave the Anglosphere, the English-speaking world? There’s some tantalizing anecdotal evidence in support of this.

In a post on Reddit titled The dating situation for Asian men in the West, someone noted:

…it seems that French women seem to have a thing for Asian men…. I’ve also noticed that Russian women don’t seem to dismiss Asians as easily as most other white women, maybe because of Russia’s proximity to Asia. In general, it seems that the worse that women speak English, the nicer they are to Asians….

In another Reddit thread, titled Where in the anglosphere is the best living opportunity in terms of how Asian men are treated? a commenter called out France as a great place to be:

Come to Paris, I’m french and with a little bit of introspection I had it easy…. Girls are open minded and you stand out a lot for breaking the stereotype if you’re Asian, funny and outgoing with above average game!

And I’m not even from Paris but the countryside. I’ve been on a weekend with the Gf in Paris and we’ve spent the entire day in China town and I kinda missed standing out because I was far from being the only Asian with a white girl like I’m used to. I also saw a lot of mixed group of friends with both Asians boys and girls with people from other race which is nice….

Here’s yet another interesting thread from Reddit called A reminder that Asian men are valued as husbands/boyfriends by women outside the Anglosphere – excerpts from the Polish community:

…It’s not a coincidence that women outside the Anglosphere view Asian men differently.

I came across a post of a Polish woman who had asked other Polish women if they had any experience with Asian men as she met an American Chinese whom she liked very much, but she wasn’t sure if our two cultures were compatible. The feedback was overwhelmingly positive!…

These women praised Asian men on many dimensions, from being “wonderful and sexy” to “playful, romantic, sensitive, responsible, honest, handsome” – you can read translated excerpts in the thread and also the original piece in Polish.

In Hey-Ai, a poster singled out a number of places he considered friendlier to Asian men, including France, Germany, Austria, Estonia, Sweden and Denmark:

…But overall, I think French people are very tolerant about Asian people….

Germany seems to be a very good place for Asian men. I was approached by pretty german girls in Munich, Budapest and NYC. And I often have very good relationship with german people usually.

I’ve just been in Austria a few days, but the perception of asian people seems the same….

Tallinn, Estonia. Asians people are almost non existent, there are very few tourists, so we are very rare. I felt very welcomed by Estonian people (men or women), they want to know more about you and some girls may flock you…

Northern Europe. I think that Sweden and Denmark are very open toward Asians people. They are very tolerant, polite and sometimes curious. I think a lot of people from Scandinavia have an interest about Asian culture. In fact, I met so many Swedish people when I traveled in Asia….

There’s also this article on Happier Abroad, which mentions:

…Large areas in Eastern Europe, in particular, the Baltic countries of Estonia and Lithuania (currently EU members), have shown to be very accepting and friendly to American Asian males, and is a place where a growing number of such travelers have been able to find incredible opportunities for social life and romance….

Belarus is another country where Asian men, even those who are not American, have been able to feel accepted, and where they have enjoyed good treatment and many new possibilities for abundant “romancing”.

Parts of Russia and other CIS countries (outside of Moscow and St. Petersburg) have also been described as very good for such Asian men…

Parts of Brazil, according to some sources, have proven to be excellent, and some Asian men have been able to mingle freely with the local population and date beautiful women there.

France is another country in which Asian men (those who can speak French- a necessity there) have reported that they have been treated quite well by the local females….

I would stress these are only personal reports. Still, unlike what I’ve laid out in my Huffington Post piece, these anecdotes suggest a more hopeful picture of interracial dating for Asian men.

But I’d love to hear from you too. What do you think? Do you have any stories or other evidence of how Asian men fare in the interracial dating scene outside the Anglosphere? Sound off in the comments!

Guest Post: How I Met My Asian Christian Grey (Reader Discretion Advised)

Flye Hudson, a Lesbian Pickup Artist, shares the story of how she met her “Asian Christian Grey” in this guest post. She also reveals an excerpt from her new memoir PET., the story of how she was seduced by her Asian Christian Grey and how they both joined forces to become prominent members of the underground seduction community.

(NOTE: Flye references sexual content and language that may be offensive to some readers. Reader discretion is advised.)

Do you have a story you’re itching to share on Speaking of China? Check out the guest post guidelines at the submit a post page right now.
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GUESTPOST1A lot of people aren’t aware of the different types of relationships that occur for AMWF couples. A lot of people aren’t aware of the true dominance that Asian men really have. I read a lot of… romance books. And believe it or not, many of them are cheesy. What I’ve lived however is something that is very much on the dark side. A chaotic and messed up romance life in an underground community of seduction artists. I still can’t believe I am living the real thing.

There have been a lot of crazy things that have happened with my partner and I. We met off of a fetish website that catered to BDSM, which I was referred to by my former sorority sister. When I had filled out my profile, I was also trying to get back at my now ex girlfriend who had cheated on me with her girlfriend and her former boyfriends. I had specifically wrote in that I had high preferences for Asian men but was open to all kinds of men (at the time I didn’t think most Asian men would be attracted to my plainness. I was definitely the cat loving, rock loving, emo scene kind of girl back then unlike today). I had received MANY messages that were very inappropriate, especially some that were racist for me putting down Asian men. It’s amazing how insecure and rude some dudes can be on the internet.

I received a message finally from someone who approached me with the line: “Been hit up by a lot of creepers, huh?” At first I didn’t think anything of it because it was the first normal message I had ever received on the site. So maybe it was a little silly of me, but I went back and forth with him. But after a short exchange of messages, a Skype call, an accidental stand up on a date, and finally meeting in person, we ended up dating and getting into a lot of trouble.

Trouble means a lot of things. From obeying and serving an Asian Master, to having a threesome with my ex girlfriend on Halloween night, to two hospital visits, to learning the art of seduction, to the amazing parties and women we met on the way in our journey, to meeting his traditional Chinese mother who found our sex toy kit, we have been through so much. And while a lot of pain and torment came with some of our adventures, I do not regret them.

To get a taste of those adventures, here’s an excerpt from my new memoir PET.

*****

IMG_20160508_131208“Hey, did you forget about our date?”

I had already f***** it up! Wednesday at 2. How could I have forgotten? Perhaps it was me checking my bank account every so often that I stressed a little prematurely- I had taken an additional shift at an odd job that I considered to be sweet but had me going more insane than I already was.

“You’re really pretty,” said a six year old, playing with my hair. I look up at a few of the workers. They smiled with their mouths but glared with their eyes.

“You know what I wish?” the boy asked.

“No idea buddy,” I said, brushing off their stares, “What do you wish for?”

“I wish I were a zombie so that I could sneak into your room every night and bite your face off.” He whispered, then proceeding to put his hands around my neck and squeeze. I laughed nervously and looked to the other counselors for help. They stared angrily for a few moments before snatching the kid off and leading him to a different activity.

I didn’t understand my passion for working in such crazy conditions. Maybe I just had a heart for people who needed help- or maybe I was just crazy and wanted to work somewhere that made me feel more normal. But none of it mattered for the time being, because I had just lost the most exciting thing that happened to me all month.

“I’ll make it up to You,” I reasoned, “Let’s do Friday. I’ll buy You lunch, my treat.”

“Sorry, I don’t like getting stood up,” Ryder said, “Good luck in the future.”

“I know, I forgot and I’m sorry,” I said, “but I was really working. I needed the money and I just got paid. Let me treat You out.”

“I don’t know.”

“Is there any way I can make You change your mind?” I asked.

Silence. Five minutes later, my phone buzzed.

Ryder. “Let’s talk on video tonight. Right now.”

“Right now?”

“Why not? Are you a catfish? Why else would you be afraid?”

Because I looked like a pile of s***?

“Give me 30 minutes?” I texted.

“Yep.”

Plenty of time to do makeup and fix that hairrrrrrr.

Within 30 minutes I had clicked onto the video screen, made the call, and then… Wow.

It was love at first Skype.

“Hey,” He said. But at the time, there was no trace of seriousness on Him whatsoever. He was smiling, grinning ear to ear.

“Hello,” I said, immediately attracted to the man who looked better than His pictures online. I couldn’t feel my face for a moment, until He started laughing.

“What’s so funny?” I huffed, feeling insecure, “do You think I’m a catfish?”

“You’re hilarious,” He responded, “and no. I just never took you as a funny girl. But hey, thanks for not flaking on the call. You had me thinking you weren’t real.”

“Funny girl? Of course I’m real,” I justified. “And I’m sorry I flaked. Work, it just-”

Ryder laughed again. “No worries. You’re totally shady though.”

IMG_20160329_130401“Whatever you say,” I said, relaxing, “so You said You’re from Partytown University?”

“Yep. Now I work.”

“What do You do?”

“I’m a manager, remember?”

“Oh, that’s right,” I said, unfolding my fingers into quotes, “Ize Management Major.’”

He only laughed again. “Exactly.”

It was so confusing how calm and happy He seemed. His texts seemed a little more serious, but talking to Him- He was so laid back. It was just different from what I experienced.

But not bad, not bad at all.

“What about you?” He asked.

“I’m a social worker and some other s***,” I said, “interesting jobs.”

“How many jobs do you work?”

“2 part time.”

“How’s the money?”

“Decent enough,” I lied.

“You said you’re from Hometown?” Ryder asked.

“Yeah, it’s the pits.”

“Ain’t hard to imagine.”

“So what brought You to the site?” I blurted out. It was a question weighing heavily on my mind.

Another laugh- in a darker tone.

“I want to find a submissive,” Ryder said, “I had an ex girlfriend a while back who wasn’t into the lifestyle. Wasn’t very fun. So now I’m much more free to do as I please. I’m looking for someone who’s open minded, eager to learn, and who knows the meaning of loyalty. And what brings you here?”

“Have You ever had a submissive before?” I asked, cringing at the word ‘loyal’.

“A few. Have you always enjoyed avoiding questions?” Ryder snickered.

“Fine.” I said. Maybe I was playing too many games. “I’m here because I’m tired of the way I’m living my life. I’m not a bad girl or anything. In fact, I’ve usually spent most of my life being busy- even too busy for me. I want to figure out what I really want and experience more out of life with the right person. I just want to find someone that I can grow to love in servitude.”

Ryder’s expression was unreadable.

“I’m used to people f****** around with me,” I said suddenly, “people who like to push me over, use me, play their games. So if You’re here to play games and f*** me over, it’s not going to work.”

“But you’re the one who stood me up, right?” Ryder smirked.

He did have a point.

“Don’t worry,” Ryder said, “you’re not the only one in that boat.”

“How many girls have You been with?”

“9 or 10,” Ryder said, “you?”

“About the same,” I said.

“Guys or girls?”

“Girls.”

“So you’re a pimp,” Ryder teased, “or should I say a madam.”

“No, that’s not nice,” I pouted.

“But I’m not a nice guy,” Ryder winked.

Something peered at me from inside the closet.

Flye Hudson is also known as “The Lesbian Pickup Artist” and is the author of PET., the story of how she was seduced by her Asian Christian Grey and how they both joined forces to become prominent members of the underground seduction community today. You can contact her at [email protected]
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