A few years back, Fred shared his inspiring story of how he found the love of his life in Brazil. But last year, he really stirred up the conversation about interracial dating in China when he reported his experience in trying to set up his Chinese nephew with American women (to date, the post has generated 196 comments!).
Well, Fred returned to Hong Kong earlier this month and decided to do an informal “study” so to speak. Specifically, he wanted to know whether interracial couples of Asian men and Western women were really as rare as I had written before. Keep in mind that this is not a scientific sampling by any means — it was simply one person’s observations during a vacation in the city.
So what’s the verdict on interracial dating between Asian men and Western women in Hong Kong? Read on to find out! And thanks so much to Fred for filing this report! 😉
When I first sought to date Western women over 14 years ago, I found that it was often a lonely experience because I rarely encountered couples of Asian men and Western women (hereinafter “AM/WW”). I could not consult with anyone except my full brother who himself was married to a White woman and so I had tremendous difficulties bouncing ideas between couples of my equal.
On the other hand, I saw plenty of couples of Western men and Asian women (hereinafter “WM/AW”) like my younger sister and her husband. Often times, I did not find the advice useful or applicable when I consulted with WM/AW couples.
After I chose to marry a White Brazilian woman, two primary questions still remained in my mind:
1) Why are there so many more WM/AW pairings as compared to AM/WW?
2) What are the statistics? (i.e. how many WM/AW pairings versus how many AM/WW pairings can be seen in a typical geographical area given a typical day or week?)
I found Jocelyn’s website and read On the Rarity of Foreign Women and Chinese Boyfriends/Chinese Husbands in China. I felt she did an excellent job explaining why AM/WW pairings are so rare. Among the reasons that she gave were stereotypes held by Chinese men against Western women and by Western women against Chinese men, the media (i.e. portraying Asian male as asexual and lacking masculinity), Western perceptions of the relative physical size of a certain intimate part of Chinese men that makes it unattractive to Western women, etc.
However, there are no statistics on the number of WM/AW versus AM/WW pairings. There were some statistics I read once from the Shanghai Marriage Bureau showing the number of marriages between Chinese men and foreign wives compared to Chinese women and foreign men. However, they did not account for the couples that are not married and dating but nevertheless still a couple.
Jocelyn wrote in her article that it was not uncommon to see an expat walking hand-in-hand with a Chinese (or other ethnically Asian) girl. But neither Jocelyn nor any source told me the numbers. So, I decided to investigate the matter further. In order to answer question number 2 above, I decided to take the matter into my very own hands. I was also curious to see if Jocelyn was really right when she averred that AM/WW pairings are rare. I wanted to prove or disprove her article.
If AM/WW pairings are so rare as she wrote, then how rare are they? What is the proportion of WM/AW over AM/WW pairings?
So, I decided to take the matter into my own hands and do my very own personal investigation. My White Western wife and I, along with my two children, were heading to Hong Kong between April 2, 2014 and April 12, 2014 for a brief vacation to visit my half brother and half sister and their families and to do some sightseeing. So I made it a top priority during that trip to use my very own eyes to count how many WM/AW couples we saw compared to AM/WW couples. Every day I brought a sheet of paper and a pen with me, and I drew a vertical line in the middle. On the left side of the paper I wrote the heading “WM/AW Team” and on the right side I wrote the heading “AM/WW Team”. Then every time I saw either a WM/AW couple and/or AM/WW couple, I would mark a vertical stroke on the corresponding side of the paper. On the fifth stroke, I would mark it as a horizontal stroke. I would continue counting this way until my return to the US. This would be like a game for me; it started when I first entered the plane in the Los Angeles International Airport and would end when I returned to LAX International.
(Please note that my personal study is by no means scientific as it is not done by random sampling or any type of representative sampling method. It was purely my personal daily observation not predicated on any scientific basis whatsoever.)
My team was “AM/WW” and when I entered the airplane on April 2, 2014 en route to Hong Kong I wrote a stroke on the right side of the paper (i.e., one point for AM/WW team) as my wife and I constituted a AM/WW couple. So, our team was immediately leading the game by one point versus zero for the WM/AW team. “Hurray for us!” I said to myself filled with confidence that our numbers may not be so rare after all, contrary to what Jocelyn wrote.
Well, guess what? My team’s lead was very short lived.
No sooner after landing at the Hong Kong International Airport, the other team WM/AW immediately scored 3 points and now the score was 3 to 1. As time passed between April 2, 2014 and April 12, 2014 the score was skewed more and more in favor of the WM/AW team. In fact, when I visited my half-brother and his side of the family, I had discovered that on his side of the family his youngest of the two daughters is engaged to a White European man (Arnold) from France, and they are both living and working in Hong Kong. Furthermore, Arnold’s father, another White man from France, divorced his French wife many years ago, moved to Hong Kong, and now is dating and living with an Asian woman in Hong Kong. It seemed that the WM/AW pairings are incredibly ubiquitous, just as Jocelyn wrote. Well, all of my hopes of winning the game were dashed.
So, here is the final score from Hong Kong between April 2, 2014 to April 12, 2014:
1) AM/WW Team: 6 couples (including me and my wife)
2) WM/AW Team: 114 couples
We lost the game quite badly.
I guess Jocelyn was ultimately right when she wrote On the Rarity of Foreign Women and Chinese Boyfriends/Chinese Husbands. Couples of Asian men and Western women really are rare.
P.S.: Please note that Hong Kong is considered quite Westernized. If the AM/WW couples are so rare in Hong Kong, I can only imagine how rare they must be if we conducted this study in mainland Chinese cities such as Guangzhou, Shanghai and Beijing.
Fred practices employment law in Torrance, California.
Do you have a “field report”, guest post, or even love story about Asian men and Western women that’s worth sharing? Submit yours today!
204 Replies to “Are interracial couples of Asian men & Western women really that rare? A field report from Hong Kong”
Wow I’m shocked. Only six AM/WW couples?!
Properly 90% of of those 114 WM/AF couples in Hong Kong were not even local Chinese women. I’m a German living in Hong Kong for 3 years with my Malaysian girlfriend (of Chinese descent ) and almost all the white guys with the Asian girls in Hong Kong were either Thai, Filipina or Japanese, they were just on vacation to Hong Kong.
Its not the numbers that count, its the quality that counts. Cheers !
Honestly, less than I expected. For Hong Kong – Western couple I know 3 including me and myself, can’t believe we make half of it haha 🙂
I remember on baidu one guy made a whole topic where he… posted a photo of AMWF couple at the HK airport… I guess it was a bid deal 🙂
@Lina Do you have a link to that? Just curious because my gf and I visited HK a few months ago
5 Asian guys with White girls in HK
30 Asian girls with White men in HK
But like I said. I seriously doubt most of these Asian-White couples in Hong Kong were even formed with local people. Having lived in Hong Kong for 3 years with my Malaysian girlfriend most of the white males- Asian girls that we came in contact in the pubs, nightclubs, restuarant and other places ect were either Filipina, Japanese, Thai or Chinese descent from Indonesia, Malaysia, Singapore on vacation. Of the 5 Asian guys with white girls in HK I know one is definately Hong Kong local but of the 40+ Asian women I only know 3 are local Hong Kong while 12 of them I’ve met don’t even have origins with Hong Kong. I don’t know about the rest though I’m not good with telling Asians apart especially when they are Chinese descent from other countries.
Wow, this is startling! I knew it was not an even score, but didn’t think it was this imbalanced! I have a theory, though, that could explain the huge disparity in Hong Kong. I think people in HK are quite traditional and that there hasn’t always been a great mixture between foreigners and locals even though HK was a colony for 150 years. China, on the other hand, was closed for so long that the opportunities to mix with foreigners is relatively new this time around. And that people in China sometimes live far from their hometowns, especially if they are fortunate to go to university. HK is so small that it’s easier to see family every week. Also, and this might be the biggest factor, more foreign women study Mandarin than Cantonese, so they might be more likely to date a guy who speaks Mandarin. Again, just a theory. There are probably many more single Western men living in China than single Western women. So that’s another factor. All in all, a fascinating study!
Wow, I would have guesses Hong Kong to have more AMWW couples! Fred’s report has inspired me to do my own field report in Guangzhou! But I very very rarely see AMWW couples here, besides two that are my friends. So for one I got three AMWW couples in Guangzhou, let’s see if I can find more!
In Shanghai is rare to see a couple formed by a Chinese man and Western woman, but it is even more uncommon in rural areas. When we registered our marriage in T’s village the Official from the Government office said that it was the first time they registered this “kind of” marriage in their files.
While in Las Vegas I also met a guy from Shandong and his wife from Venezuela. We were very excited when we realized we had that in common, we felt closer and exchange our contact details in order to see how we could work together in the future.
Anyway, I just hope uncommon is not a synonym of strange / ackward or even extraordinary for anyone.
Ha! I was expecting the WM/AF team to win but I wasn’t expecting the AM/WW to lose so badly. Just 6 couples in 10 days…
I don’t know any other AM/WW couples in Suzhou but I basically don’t know any foreign women here, so it’s not surprising.
If I think about it I haven’t met a lot of AM/WW couples (except you girls from the internet, haha). In Spain I have met 3 such couples (Spanish woman with ethnic Japanese, Korean and Chinese guys, all of them raised in Spain). A friend from Beijing had a kid with a Swedish girl. And one of my best friends is married to a Filipino. When they went to register the marriage in the Spanish consulate in Manila, the consul told them he had registered a lot of Spanish man & Filipina couples, but this was the first time he had registered a Filipino & Spanish woman couple.
That’s interesting. I don’t know any AMWF couples, honestly. I’ve only seen a few while living in Shanghai for over a year.
There are many reasons for this:
1) Most women prefer physically larger men. Sorry but sexually speaking, bigger and stronger men with physically smaller women is sexy. There are big Asian men, but statistically speaking, western women frequently outsize Asian men.
2) Western women are less submissive and resist gender roles. Asian men and women tend to adhere to stricter gender roles.
3) Asian men are often not strictly monogamous. They all (well, mostly) have girlfriends and mistresses. Western women — particularly Anglo Americans — consider this a non-starter.
4) Asian men look for much younger wives. Western men also pursue younger Asian wives. Western women prefer to marry closer to age 30 which is a non-starter for many Asian men.
5) Western men have adapted to an expanded role of women in society. Asian men, not so much.
6) the cultural ideal of female beauty is slim and small. The cultural ideal of male beauty isn’t.
Let’s talk about your reason no 3. from what I know most of Asian men are strictly monogamous; most of asian men don’t cheat their wives or girlfriends. It’s illegal in China and many asian countries to have more than 1 wife.
When you accused asian men having mistresses, do you think it doesn’t happen in other races/communities? only in asian?
look at Bill Clinton, Arnold Schwarzeneger, Sylvio Berlusconi, Jacob Zuma (South African president having 4 wives) etc. they are just tip of an iceberg. there are many many more men in their races doing such things, including the ordinary ones. One of my American friends told me when he had a business trip in the Philippines a few months ago, he passed a red light district and he saw a lot of white and black men enjoying local ladies. He said those men don’t look young, they might have wives and families in their countries. I believe something like this happens in many other countries, not only in the Phlippines.
another example; in my company, a head of department (a married white guy) slept with his secretary.
To all white and black men, I’m sorry I’m not offending you. I’m just challenging our friend here, “Many reasons.” he/she doesn’t realize or maybe pretend not knowing the “mistress and polygamy” issue happens everywhere.
Sounds interesting and I think it is fair observation. Since I relocated Hongkong 4 years ago. I think I came across only a few AMWF couples , including myself. But lots of WMAF couples. (Not that I have been tallying up with pen and paper, but it is just an observation).
My fiancee and I are one of those people who have broken your reasons #1, so I guess we are even more unusual in that respect 🙂
I know more couples formed by a man from Shandong and a foreign woman than from other provinces in China.
My friend says is because Shandong men are taller, darker if from a rural area and know how to drink.
When my husband and I go to Europe everyone points out that he looks different from those Chinese citizens who live there. And they mention those features, not being as white, and taller than they thought.
Just in case I offended anyone: My point was certainly not to define hard and fast rules — simply my perception of where the statistical majority lies. Are there exceptions, oh yes thousands! Vive la difference!
I live in a small town where at least 2/3 of the people are students of or work for a major university. This gives our place a lot more ethnic diversity than the surrounding area but I completely agree with Fred. Sorry to disappoint, Many Reasons, but every single one on your list is blown away by our relationship.
Around here I have seen a number of couples where a White man is with an Asian woman, but my Chinese boyfriend and I seem unique everywhere we go. Among his friends he is the only one dating a White woman, even though he knows several White men with Asian girlfriends or wives.
I forgot to mention one detail which may be of interest to everyone. Among the 6 AM/WF pairings, the men in 2 of the pairings had significant exposure to Western people. I was among the 2 men and I lived in the West for many decades. The second pairing was between a Chinese man and a French girlfriend; I meet them on the cable car en route up to the Big Buddha on Lantau Island and he lives in France. As for the other 4 AM/WW pairing I did not talk to them and thus I cannot delineate whether they had sufficient exposure to Western women. So, the conclusion is that Chinese men, without significant exposure to Western people or Western women, will highly unlikely would want to pair up with a Western lady. Jocelyn’s husband (Jun) is an exception to the rule. Even Chinese men with significant exposure to Western men and women will have a lot of reluctance just as I once had before.
Well women of any race do prefer taller men. Asian men aren’t known for their height and that’s pretty much the end game. It’s easier for Asian women to find a foreign partners simply because there’s no pressure on their height or themselves to initiate the first move, and foreign men have always had an infatuation for Asian women. As an Asian man I find white women more attractive because their facial and body features are…well…just more attractive. However my height holds me back and with so many negative stereotypes on Asian men (not women) it makes it even harder. So when it comes to AM, we are on the short end of racism and sexism.
If I conducted the same study in a major city in Taiwan, I am sure I would find similar results! Like I said in a comment on a previous post, a woman couldn’t believe that my husband (then boyfriend) and I were a couple – it is just that uncommon and rare to see a Western woman with an Asian guy.
“Please note that Hong Kong is considered quite Westernized.”
America is WESTERN and the ratio here is even more warped. That said, if you are a AMWW couple other than Hawaii or the west coast, you are better off living outside the US in places such as China, Singapore, Japan or Hong Kong. You will face a lot less racism (if any) in those countries and there will be a lot less stress on the marriage as a result. These days the proportion of white British Female-Japanese Male couples in Japan has increased significantly because it has become almost impossible to get British residency for the Japanese spouse. In fact there have been several articles along these lines. I actually met several JM-British WW couples in Malaysia..the husband cannot get the visas to move to the UK..some have been around for nearly three to four years and no progress.
@Constance – Foreign Sanctuary..During my week long stay in Taipei during May 2008 I saw at least over a hundred white men but only three white women, and that too on the last day. In fact, after not seeing white females for six days, even my mother and sister noted that there were three white females on the street. In contrast, saw plenty in Beijing and Shanghai two years later.
Face it…Other than white women confined to sites such as these, very few want to date or marry Asian or for that matter any non-white male…at least here in the US.
“If I think about it I haven’t met a lot of AM/WW couples (except you girls from the internet, haha).”
@Marta…are we alone in this universe, we ask of ourselves…cant say. But are WW-AM couples that exist pretty much confined to sites such as these…you nailed it…pretty much. Here in the East Coast you occassionally find one or two pairs. And that is about it.
“It just makes me wanna breed out the east asian DNA that I have.”
One drop rule…here in the US, you will always be considered Asian if your other half is white…if your other half is black or Hispanic, you will be considered black or Hispanic…you will never become white.
Many reasons….you left the main reason at least here in the US….RACISM…an interracial couple does not want to be on the path of folks like Glenn Miller, do they?
“So, the conclusion is that Chinese men, without significant exposure to Western people or Western women, will highly unlikely would want to pair up with a Western lady.”
By your hypothesis, we should have a lot of American born Chinese men with white women here in the US…we dont see too many. I think the numbers are even more warped here in the US than back in the Far East, Hong Kong included. If you as Asian American men, even in a diverse place such as California, they usually say that they are rejected by WW and give up. Hawaii for some reason seems to be an exception.
Huu is absolutely right…but more so racism from white women than sexism. If taller men are the issue, white American women would date black and Hispanic men in large numbers…they dont. It is a stereotype that black women dont date outside their race…actually statistics show that white American women are least likely to date outside their race after white South African women…it is a history of racism in these two countries.
what is tright or wrong? the thing i feel may be bad is that you are so concern of the race not the person. meet the person you want for them not their race 😛
I don’t know if that’s too relevant in this case. From all the couples I know online and offline (there are not many so the sample is quite representative…) only in 2 of them the husband has been living /studying or traveling in the west before.
People tend to think that we are talking about men exposed to a Western side or more wealthy or for some reason I also read “Shanghai men are more international so any foreign woman would choose a man from Shanghai”.
I only know 2 couples where the husband was exposed to US
1 couple where he is from Shanghai
The rest of the couples I know we are talking about men who come from rural areas and the only exposure to western world comes from TV.
On the other hand, I have quite an amount of Chinese girlfriends with western boyfriends and two of those girls studied with me in France, and the other girls were living abroad also beforehand…
So I couldn’t come and say that there is a rule cause I see diversity. Some were in those countries earlier, some have never left their village, some are artist, some are students, some are in business, some are working the field, some speak Mandarin, some Cantonese, …
My experience during my visit of Hong Kong two years ago was similar to Fred’s. I saw many more WM/AF couples than AM/WF couples on the streets. One thing I noticed, however, was that with quite a number of the WM/AF couples, the WM was a lot older than the AF. In contrast, the few AM/WF couples I saw in Hong Kong had the two partners of similar age. These more senior white guys in the WM/AF couples that I saw tended not to be physically fit. I wondered whether these white guys would be able to attract a younger white wife/gf if they were back in their home countries. A few months ago, I came across this website that Jocelyn has put together for the AM/WF community. I read that, like in Hong Kong, the age disparity situation of WM/AF also occurs in mainland China, and I also read about the reasons discussed. I just hope that the Chinese women paired with their much older white guys were driven by true love for the guys. But that is doubtful. Tonight I went to dinner in a Chinese restaurant in a suburb of Washington, DC. I saw a WM/AF couple dining in the restaurant, in which the white guy was in his late 60’s with a big belly and the beautiful AF looked about 30 years old. When they left the restaurant, the white guy was hobbling. They did walk out holding hands. I could only hope that both of them were truly in love.
Yesterday I went to have dinner in a Korean restaurant. On the tv they were showing a concert of several k-pop bands in Paris. It was in a huge stadium or a similar place, and it was full of European young girls crying for a bunch of Korean teenagers that didn’t look tall or masculine at all to me. Maybe Korean pop bands will make more Western girls feel attracted to Asian men? haha!
BTW I suddenly remembered that when I was attending Uni in Beijing I did know more AM/WW couples. Most of the guys were Korean.
Yeah, K-pop has definitely done a lot to widen the appeal of Asian men in recent years. G-Dragon, for example, is simply badass and he makes white girls everywhere swoon.
What about the pairing Chinese man and black woman in this field report?
I guess it must be a negative figure.
I think height has alot to do with it. I live in a western country but am only 1.77m. There are many white girls who are 1.80m+ I can’t fathom asking them out, they probably will reject me as they want equal height or taller.
Can you delete my old comment Jocelyn? I think it was too negative and negativity doesn’t help anything. This thing is going to come full circle for sure.
I have always had mixed feelings on this issue of profiling and tabulating interracial couples of any combination. On one hand, it can empower those that suffer from negative stereotypes like asian men. On the other hand, it reinforces the very tyrannical system it is trying to oppose; one which looks at individuals as a representative of their race and therefore dehumanizes them into a bunch of stereotypes. The only difference is that these stereotypes are positive and not negative (or are they; asian women are feminine might be a positive trait, but it only ends up tying down asian women to standards they may not want to confirm to).
Why should white men date asian women but white women not date asian men? I don’t understand how this is either a question or an answer to the negative stereotypes propagated by media about asian men. Dating a white woman would not make them any more of a man. Frankly if men think they need to date a certain type of women to be more manly/ desirable are less men in my eyes than any effeminate, short, stubby, nerdy tiny p&nised man on the planet.
That being said, while I am all for supporting and empowering fellow interracial couples of any combination, this particular question to me seems silly even if sociologically it might be interesting. I think the world is changing one step at a time. If people choose a partner not because of race but despite it, then that is awareness. Choosing someone based on race is simply another form of racism. Asian women face it; white people in general face it. Why add asian men to the list. Sure they may not be able to get MANY women, but at least asian men can rest easy that they at least wont be dating any stupid racist women?
I agree with you in that Asian men should not look to white women as a source of validation for their own masculinity/attractiveness. To do so would in fact serve to reinfornce the supposed inferiority of Asian men or Asians in general.
However, I think the fact that Asian men are not more popular with white women is interesting because of the questions it raises about the inherent racism that pervades society/culture and about our ideas regarding gender roles, which are apparently still quite conservative/traditionalist despite all the talk of social progress and female empowerment of modern times.
“…….but at least asian men can rest easy that they at least wont be dating any stupid racist women?”
Hahahaha!! Thank goodness for unintended blessings.
“Choosing someone based on race is simply another form of racism. Asian women face it; white people in general face it. ”
You mean white people (women?) practice racism. As I have said, when a southern white wants to marry a southern white it could be interpreted as cultural compatability of confederate flag wavers. However, when a southern white claims it is ok to date and marry a Russian or Ukrainian (from recent events it is very evident that these two ethinicities belonging to the white group claim they are very dissimilar) but not a sixth generation Asian, then it is an issue of racism and bigotry as selection is made based on skin color. I am afraid there are at least a few Americans who belong to the latter category.
No I meant that these groups are preferred as partners because they are stereotyped as having certain traits and this ties them to the said stereotypes. White people are not the only racist people on this planet. Racism, ironically, has no color.
“what is tright or wrong? the thing i feel may be bad is that you are so concern of the race not the person. meet the person you want for them not their race.”
At least most people are concerned about the skin color of their partners, not other traits. Look, if masculinity is the only issue, white women will be flocking in droves to black or Hispanic men…the fact that 90% do not tells me only one reason…Racism…has nothing to do with the masculinity of Asians.
@ David (Originally from HK).
“My experience during my visit of Hong Kong two years ago was similar to Fred’s. I saw many more WM/AF couples than AM/WF couples on the streets. One thing I noticed, however, was that with quite a number of the WM/AF couples, the WM was a lot older than the AF. In contrast, the few AM/WF couples I saw in Hong Kong had the two partners of similar age[.]”
My observation is similar to yours. I saw some WM/AW where the male is much older than the female. The men are overwight; some are semi blad and with a bigger stomach. I saw some Filippinas with older White men. The men in the AM/WW situation is that they are both similar in ages.
I didn’t know there was contest going on. :-).
In all seriousness though, the couples here really shouldn’t look at the (much) higher numbers of WM/AF versus AM/ XF couples as a loss.
Just focus on your own relationship, if you’re an AM in a good relationship with an XF, or an XF in a good relationship with AM, its a win for YOU as a couple regardless of how many WM/AF couples are out there.
Its good that the much smaller AM/XF community are generally made up of decent people who support each other as evidenced by this blog and ones like it.
Wow, it’s good to see the conversation rolling
@David – I agree that relationship is down to the individual couples based on their individusl choice. Having said that conversations like these make good banters. You never know, one day you may be at a pub quiz and this is the price-winning question. You might just end up getting a few pints free. 🙂
Sorry, I meant @Allen
By the way, as a general observation, there are few comments on this site and other similar AM/WF forums that talk about racism toward Asian men. I don’t want to sound insensitive, but I only notice these kind of comments ever since I discovered the world of AM/WF online community few months ago. It seems that people who talk about it have experience it mostly in the States. Is it really that bad in the States or is it just my preception? Please correct me if I am wrong, but I can only speak for my experience.
I’ve been in a AM/WF relationship for more than 7 years, and I have lived in the UK and Hongkong for many years. I don’t recall or notice anything like what people have commented. I’m not sure whether I’ve been very lucky or whether I’ve been oblivious about it.
Maybe you guys can shed some light?
“It seems that people who talk about it have experience it mostly in the States.”
The United States….especially the US South…as I said earlier no one will attack a white southern male for going after Asian females in Hong Kong (remember Manny?), but let an Asian or Asian American try that in Tuscaloosa, Alabama see what happens…by the way for a treatise of segregation in Tuscaloosa, read the following article….
I once supported the voucher program for children by saying that they should pay the students in low performing schools to pay to attend relatively high performing schools in Alabama such as the mostly white Mountain Brook High…people who supported vouchers turned against it and all I got…death threats from whites in Alabama…on the blog of course.
Wow! I cannot believe the stats are so much in favor of us white boys!!! That is great to know.
@ David. It is so refreshing to know that older white men are able to get themselves younger Asian female companions. When I get old, I would love to be in their shoes and have younger Chinese H.K. girls readily at my finger tips. I am so happy to read this article and your comments. I am loving every moment that we white boys are viewed in such a postive way by the Chinese.
Guess they forgot to tell you that those hk women were all unattractive. Chinese women consider good looking chinese men as superior to any white boy. Oh, and white men in asia have the reputation of being losers in their home countries
I am glad that you will do your own field study and will submit a report. Let’s see if the proportion is more or less the same. I am willing to bet that the AM/WW team will lose even more.
I love your blog! specially because I’m a western girl dating and asian guy, (I’m mexican and my bf is chinese) so it is really interesting to see how rare interracial couples of asian men & western women are there! I didn’t even know that there are communities online! I’m gonna look up for more ^^ thanks for the post and your field work haha =)
I really like your posts! keep it up =)
I did this informal survey back in the 1980s at this midwestern campus known for engineering where I attended grad school, I saw several BMAW couples and no AMWW couples…in fact, in 1983 non-white men talked to white women only when necessary…if they were their students, fellow faculty members, or if any disciplinary action was involved. I saw black women with black men, white women with white men and white men with everybody, but believe it or not, back in 1984, I saw ten different BMAW couples but only seven different WMAW couples in a school of 35,000! Then I went down south for a week long conference and at this southern school I saw five BMAW couples…but it was not evident that they were Asian until you came closer…the women were very dark skinned and hence did not get stares. But, then there was this light skinned Indian woman who like a Bollywood movie actor could pass for white and her Indian husband was very dark skinned…they were in an arranged marriage…and they were always mistaken for an interracial couple..their kid was beaten up at school and they were harrassed…dead animals were left on their door steps. Eventually, they left the area…last I heard they were in CA.
Things have changed since then…lot more AWWM couples in both campuses now..but nary a WWAM couple..occassionally you will see one….but still a one way street…like the Brits working abroad dont like foreigners working in their country.
Your anecdote of your observation in the southern school is quite interesting. When I was younger, among the mixed race couples, a great proportion of them was comprised of white men with other races. I did not experience any harassment during any time when I was with my white Brazailian wife. I was not too surprised to hear about the darker skinned Indian man married to a lighter skin Indian woman both of whom faced harassment in the southern states. But I think that if you are in love, forget race, forget the others and simply concentrate on yourselves.
“I was not too surprised to hear about the darker skinned Indian man married to a lighter skin Indian woman both of whom faced harassment in the southern states.”
More recently (2013) a dark skinned Indian man with a light skinned Indian woman turned up in a church to raise money for an orphanage in India…a couple of weeks later it triggered an anti-interracial couple rant from the pastor of the church…both of them were born in America with Biblical first and last names and their marriage was arranged, believe it or not…the video went viral in February 2104…the pastor is now very famous…he is Reverend Donny Reagan of the Happy Valley Church in Johnson City, TN and I happen to know the couple…
White woman with Chinese husband reporting from Shanghai here…WMAF couples are everywhere here, and I can’t think of any other AMWF couples that I’ve met in person here. In fact, all my friends are WMAF couples. They all expressed surprise when they found out I was married to an Asian man. To me, it’s a no brainer, there is no one in the world hotter than my hubby 😉
When I go to the park with our son, everyone is extrememly interested in the hunxue baobao…because we are such a rarity it’s almost like we’re animals in a zoo, with people snapping pictures everywhere. Well, maybe it’s because my son’s so darn cute too. My husband hates it (the picture taking, not the cuteness, haha).
When they find out I can speak Chinese, it opens a floodgate of questions…and one of them is always, “So you husband must be a big boss, yes?” It’s funny the questions you get asked as a white woman married to a Chinese man in Shanghai.
Here you have another couple! We also live in Shanghai and usually get some unusual questions, same style as yours.
I can see why you dont have too many AMWW couples in say Indiana or down south in the US…but many US WW abroad dont like to date Asian or any other non-white men, rich or otherwise. Back in 2010 some in the Singapore expat community set a young woman from Tennessee on a blind date with a son of a local millionaire..when she saw he was Chinese, he freaked out and ran out. Word got around and she was literally fired and sent back home to Bristol, TN…I still think someone was trying to get her fired because she really did not like to date outside white men.
“Back in 2010 some in the Singapore expat community set a young woman from Tennessee on a blind date with a son of a local millionaire..when she saw he was Chinese, he freaked out and ran out. Word got around and she was literally fired and sent back home to Bristol, TN”
Why was she sent back to Tennessee when “he freaked out?” That fact that the man freaked out was his own doing and not the White girl; thus, it is inconceivable that the company fired her. Perhaps you can tell her to contact me and I can help her with a wrongful termination case. I would love to take case like this because she did nothing wrong by showing up and if the man freaked out and did not like her and she was fired for it, then it is a great wrongful termination case.
@ Mars and @ Laura.
You both mentioned that you received a lot of stares and questions. It is quite interesting that you mention these occurences. When my wife, my 2 children and I were in H.K. several weeks ago, we had some people stare at us and some questions as well (not a lot). For example, when my mom, my half-brother, my wife, my 2 children and I were at a local McDonalds in H.K., an elderly Chinese couple complimented me and my wife for having a boy (dragon) and a girl (phoenix) and their beauty. They wanted to know how it was possible that a local Chinese man can marry a foreigner, as they assumed that I was local because they heard me speak my native Cantonese flawlessly with my mom and my half-brother. I replied by saying that I was in fact a foreigner with U.S. passport. They were shocked but happy for us. Then there were several other times when we were dining at a local restaurant when my wife and our children were stared at, but no one stared at me or my mom or half-brother. All the stares were directed at my wife and our 2 mixed race children. On yet another separate occasion, when I was holding my wife’s hands inside a shopping mall and my mom was perhaps 15 feet behind us, my mom heard these 2 Chinese men (with Mainland accents) talk and one said to each other something like, “Look! Did you just see that Chinese man over there holding hands witha ‘gwei bo
Oopps! I pressed the wrong button and prematurely submitted my comments before I could complete them. I wanted to write:
….’gwei poa'” and then they were amazed and stared from behind our backs not knowing that my mom saw and heard them.
It seemed that some Chinese cannot believe that one of their own is paired with a foreigner. I just do not understand the “buzz” arising out of a pairing between a Chinese person and a foreigner. In the U.S. I see mixed race couples many times and I do not even give it a second thought or look. I guess when it is a rarity as Jocelyn describes, then it generates some attention.
My spelling error…should have read she freaked out and ran out of the restaurant..sorry!
One more point…until ABC’s John Qunniones does a What Would You Do episode with AWWM and AMWW couples both here in the US (in a place like Tuscaloosa, AL or Athens, GA) and in places like Hong Kong we will never find out about the depth of racism in either parts of the world.
This link is for Fred….
“In a somewhat similar vein, one of OkCupid’s questions reads as follows: “Would you strongly prefer to go out with someone of your own skin color/racial background?” I was struck by the not inconsiderable number of people who answered “yes”—including some people I know “in real life,” many of whom are hilariously self-righteous about their enlightened political views.”
Ran into this young woman two years ago on a trip from Singapore to the US…she was complaining about Filipina maids marrying American men….and told me how she always dated WASP…then I asked her whether she was voting for Romney…she nearly strangled me…she had always voted Dem and she voted for Obama in 2008 and was voting for him again. She was from California..and had two little girls and a small son…guess what she is teaching them now!!
Firstly, thanks for the link about racial profiling and preferences in dating.
Secondly, you wrote:
“Ran into this young woman two years ago on a trip from Singapore to the US…she was complaining about Filipina maids marrying American men….and told me how she always dated WASP…then I asked her whether she was voting for Romney…she nearly strangled me…she had always voted Dem and she voted for Obama in 2008 and was voting for him again. She was from California..and had two little girls and a small son…guess what she is teaching them now!!”
In response to your comments, I ask:
1) are you certain that she was complaining or was she making just a comment based on observation? As you know, I wrote about my observation that there was a lopsided amount of WM/AW pairings in H.K. in comparison to the AM/WW counterpart. I was just noting an observation and not complaining. So, you could have mistaken her comments as a complaint when she could have just been sharing an observation to you, just as I was sharing my personal observations in my post.
2) How do you know that she will not change her mind and won’t give a non-WASP or non-white man a chance? After all, when I was younger I wanted to date and marry only a Chinese or another ethnic Asian girl such as Japanese. Yet in time, I changed and went after a non-Asian woman and now I am married to a white Brazilian lady. So, you should have not given up and you should have asked her out on a date, coaxed her a little more, and see her response. Was she pretty? If so, then it was worth an attempt at picking her up.
1. More of a gossip than complain. At 3:00 PM in every afternoon US and other English speaking housewives, almost all of them white sit and gossip about which white guy went with which local woman…so I think it is gossip and laughter at the couple’s expense.
2. She is married…hope she stays married…more concerned about what she teaches her kids.
With regard to your response to # 2, I too hope that she does not teach her children to be prejudiced against other people. Even though she was married, you could have posed the question as a hypothetical and ask, “Had you not been married, would you have given an Asian man a chance?”
We should do our own informal surveys in Shanghai and compare by what district we live in!
Yes, we’ve gotten used to the attention now and people are so friendly and curious, it’s hard to be offended. I would venture to say that we saw more AMWF couples back in our home area of Chicago than we do here! I always get excited when I see an AMWF couple and do a quiet “yes” with a fist pump for Team AMWF.
@Mars, I love this informal survey idea! And BTW, my husband and I used to live in Changning district ourselves many years ago.
When we start getting out and about more, I’ll start collecting data.
Jocelyn, I’m not surprised you lived in Changning too….because we lead parallel lives! If you do not know what I’m talking about, see the comment I posted on your article about learning the family dialect. Nothing creepy, I promise 😉
Well, have you completed the survey yet? What is the proportion? I am anxious to know.
Starting data collection this week…will be taking my sister all around the city, so should get some interesting material. I haven’t forgotten, will let you guys know the results soon!
@Mars, My gf and I are AMWF living in Chicago. I went to school in Boston and visit friends on the west coast frequently, and I must say I have never seen as many amwf couples than here in Chicago. When it’s nice, we take a stroll in the loop or along the lake, and we see a minimum of 2 other couples. Two weekends ago we saw a record of 6 other distinct couples. We squeeze each other’s hand and say “Yes! AMWF!” Granted, we still see way more WMAF couples, but good for them too, we shouldn’t judge them or think they’re “lower quality” in any way.
Agree with your observation, and we like our walks by the lake too 🙂
FYI to everyone, the data from Shanghai is being collected…I will be sharing the results soon on sightings of AMWF couples versus AFWM couples soon!
@Mars, My gf and I are AMWF living in Chicago. I went to school in Boston and visit friends on the west coast frequently, and I must say I have never seen as many amwf couples than here in Chicago. When it’s nice, we take a stroll in the loop or along the lake, and we see a minimum of 2 other couples. Two weekends ago we saw a record of 6 other distinct couples. We squeeze each other’s hand and say “Yes! AMWF!” Granted, we still see way more WMAF couples, but good for them too, we shouldn’t judge them or think they’re “lower quality” in any way.
@Jocelyn posted a bunch of blogs a while back, and perusing through them, it was interesting to see many of the women had roots in Chicago or the midwest in general.
Is Manny an alter ego of Fred?
I live in Jiading, and my survey would be empty.
Whoa, you are way up there. I’m in Changning…I can tell you I know I’ve personally know 15 WMAF couples and have seen many more. I now recall seeing one other AMWF couple in the park with their baby.
So far the score isn’t looking good.
““Had you not been married, would you have given an Asian man a chance?” ”
I already have her answer from her body language and especially her nose language…it is not difficult if you have been in the diplomatic circles or have worked in international organizations….you dont ask those questions…you sort of act as a psychologist and figure it out.
“I would venture to say that we saw more AMWF couples back in our home area of Chicago than we do here! I always get excited when I see an AMWF couple and do a quiet “yes” with a fist pump for Team AMWF.”
But, anecdotal evidence indicates that other than in Hawaii the trend seems to be reversing…more AMWW couples prefer Asia these days…Jocelyn and the Texan in Tokyo are just two examples of this reversed trend…and what you see in Chicago could also be that the AM was born in the US and probably has no other place to go yet….see a lot of Aussie born Asians on media these days in Singapore…at least with an Aussie accent.
I’m a western woman married to a Chinese man. We’ve lived in Shanghai for over a year now and I can seriously count on one hand how many AM/WW couples I’ve seen in Shanghai over that time period. We travel often in mainland China and it’s very scarce to see. Mind you, out of the handful we’ve seen at least 1 couple were just tourists. We see plenty of Asian women with foreign men ~ but not the other way around. Quite frankly, people are shocked when they see us together! Just the other day when I was paying my phone bill and they found out I was married to a Chinese man they kept asking “You are married to a Chinese man?? From China?? A Chinese man? How???” LOL! We get a lot of looks and questions but the same people wouldn’t give a second glance to an Asian woman with a foreign boyfriend/husband. It doesn’t bother us any, though! I love living here in China and I love being with my husband. 🙂
We’ve also been to Hong Kong a lot and it’s definitely more likely to see a AM/WW couple there than in the mainland.
@ Mars, Rene and Laura.
Given all of your comments, I feel so inpsired that I will do yet another survey in my part of town in the Los Angeles area this weekend and then I shall report the results to everyone. I suspect, however, that our team will fare much better in the U.S. as AMs here have more exposure to WFs and are more likely to accept WFs than the men in traditional China. So stayed tuned.
Greetings from Singapore. Appearances are deceptive, at least in one prominent LA case which is being covered extensively all over the world…granted this is about black men and not Asian men, but perhaps you can interpolate….I am not a racist, I have a black girlfriend, but I tell her not to bring any of her black friends to my games…..
Yeah, you will find a large number of Asian-white couples, but do we really know what they are thinking…granted white men dating non-white women are more likely to display this pathology than white women dating non-white men…but them again, I think white women are very honest…if they are really racist they will not date any non-white men, and some extreme racist white women will consider such unions unnatural. One has to figure out how many white women who wont date Asian men date Hispanics or blacks…my bet is not many…may be about 2%. After recent rantings from Cliven Bundy of Nevada and Sterling of LA Clippers, I am convinced that race is a major issue in America as David says. Never been to Alabama and dont intend to visit especially after the recent events involving the sororities at the University of Alabama…just convinced a young Chinese Singaporean lady not to go there, but to go to Oregon instead, despite the bad weather in the latter. I also lived in Texas for a while in the late 1990s…and again in 2009…some things have changed but much stays the same, especially in and around Jasper.
I was in Lisbon, Portugal for ten days until May 9. Saw five AWWM couples, two AWBM couples and zero AMWW couples. During the past three months in the DC area saw eighteen AWWM couples, seven AWBM couples and one AMWW couple.
@ Sam. Thanks for the field report. If you are an AM invovled with a WM, then I welcome you to the “few and lonely” club of AM/WW.
I’ve gotta agree – a AM/WF couple in Hong Kong is viewed as something utterly weird.
Backstory – I went to law school in a small town in Ontario. I met my HK-born, Canadian-raised boyfriend there. We’ve been together 9 years. Even in small-town Ontario, we weren’t that unusual – the majority of Asian boys in law school had white girlfriends, and vice versa. In Canada, I’ve never been stared at or had comments about dating an Asian.
THEN I went to Hong Kong to visit his granny. Wow. Talk about culture shock! People openly gawked at us EVERYWHERE. Starbucks in North Point – the grannies stared at us through the front window. LKF, people gawked at us while we danced together at the clubs. His relatives asked if we thought our kids would look white or Chinese.
It’s bizarre. In small-town Ontario where there are virtually no Asians, we weren’t anything interesting. Yet in a place where there is a huge population of white people mingling with Cantonese people, we were an oddity.
@Fred…after several months finally saw an AM-WW couple in the bus yesterday in Washington DC.
“In Canada, I’ve never been stared at or had comments about dating an Asian. ”
Have you ever been with your bf to Alberta?
“His relatives asked if we thought our kids would look white or Chinese. ”
Could be either. But, high probability your kids would be smarter than average, and even super-smart….this is based on stats, not on stereotype or prejudice.
Thanks for sharing your story, but were you able to count the number of WM/AW pairings versus AM/WW pairings just as I did when I reporeted 114 to 6? I am interested in the stats also.
Yes, I agree that there is some staring and gwaking. I did not notice too much. My mother recounted some incidents for me. When she was approx. 15 meters behind me and my wife, 2 Chinese men passed us by and then they turned their heads and one man told the other to look at that Chinese man (referring to me) with that White lady holding hands. I did not hear them talk but my mom heard them and reported it to me. Then on 2 other occasions and once again my mom was walking behind me and my wife and my wife and I were hold hands, a Chinese lady passed us and then the Chinese lady turned her head to stare at us some more. I just cannot understand how people cannot get over the fact that a Chinese man can be with a Western woman. I do not think it is strange or odd but some Chinese people think otherwise. Yet, they do not give a “crap” when a Western man is holding hands with a Chinese girl. I cannot figure out the mentality of the people in China.
Although I suspect most of us in interracial relationships are not busying ourselves with the topic of “race” every living moment of every day, until society for the most part understands that people can find love and meaningful companionship outside of their race, we will all continue to *see* mixed couples – we stand out, even (and perhaps especially) to each other, because for the most part, we’re not a reflection of the demographic around us and because as long as some people remain unable to truly accept us, many of us will instinctively identify with each other – I suppose it’s a safety net of sorts?
I’m sure someone is probably doing proper research on this topic, but the question of how commonplace particular interracial pairings are probably has a lot to do with the degree of acceptance/understanding within the communities in question? I recently took a career break and travelled throughout Asia with my British-born Indian partner (I’m Caucasian). The most casual observer would agree that what Fred found in Hong Kong is true throughout the region – WW/AM is atypical of mixed-race relationships. However, in one sub-group I sometimes think this is not the case: I headed over here via a tweet from Lauren, of English Wife, Indian Life and although it seems (from my observance, at least) a minority amongst interracial relationships, there is a thriving online community of white women in relationships with South Asian men … but both online and in real life, the WM/AW combination is less common still where South Asians are concerned. I expect we are all probably too painfully aware and too bored of racial stereotypes to labour the point here, but maybe societal pressures weigh more heavily on, for example, Chinese men, just as they seem to on South Asian women?
In any case, @Fred, I could add another to your “team” – my best friend (HK Chinese) lives in HK with her white SO *fist pump* 😉
I will be in Singapore and Malaysia next month and if you continue to keep this board alive, I will report on the situation there. For now, here in the DC area, I am seeing more BMAW couples than AMWW couples.
“but both online and in real life, the WM/AW combination is less common still where South Asians are concerned.”
In the late 1940s and until the early 1960s there was a big surge in South Asian Men-White women couples in the US…because otherwise you did not get to stay in this country, period…in many states it was illegal..and there were occassions where some rich South Asian men paid off the white female’s parents in the form of “Blood-Mixing” money to stop them from sending the police after the couple. What changed? The 1965 Immigration Act…the Family Re-unification was expanded to include brothers and sisters of US citizens..and refined racist groups such as the Daughters of American Revolution and even the Daughters of the Confederacy supported the move because they were sick and tired of seeing South Asian men with white women…they wanted to make sure that there was enough supply of South Asian women in the country, so that they dont have to marry white women….and the proportion of South Asian men marrying white women fell sharply…although it is higher than the other way round, it still is low.
Yet, as a person with family connections in both South and East Asia, I have to say it is more acceptable for a WW to marry a South Asian male. Recently a young white woman who plays cricket for England tweeted in jest to an Indian cricketer to marry her and another English cricketer joined the conversation. No one thought much about this in India…however, in England the reaction was not that great to put it mildly and for a few weeks the two young ladies were not heard from other than by tweet…no public appearances, no press conferences and were not even seen in their beautiful English country towns and their folks did not answer any questions. Needless to say nowadays in the UK and Germany it is near impossible to get a resident or spousal visa if a citizen marries a foreigner whether white or non-white, does not matter. A white American woman married to an Englishman had to move with him back to the US because of backlogs extending three years…another English doctor married to a Thai nurse had to move to Singapore and now plans to move to Australia. A German woman who married an Indian doctor works with me here in the US because her husband despite being a prominent neurosurgeon could not get a visa as he did not pass German fluency. And Japanese men married to English women are particularly targeted…many dont get visas despite having Phds and MBAs from even British universities. UK unemployment is falling not because they are creating jobs but because people drop out of the UK labor force by moving abroad. So there are a lot of hassles in such marriages.
And Fred…you will notice one thing common among the Indian men who marry white women…they have movie actor good looks and they are pretty much light skinned…they can pass for an Italian, Portuguese or some Mediterranean countries…even the Indian cricketer targeted by the white English female cricketers is very light skinned by Indian standards and could easily get a role in Bollywood…you will see a rage WWAM couple where the guy is dark…but on blogs other than Ali Rae of Mercy Ships I must admit I have not seen any…so if you folks see any such couples where a dark skinned South Asian is with a White person, please do post the link.
I agree to keep this post and its comment alive with discussion if you report back after your trip to and fro Singapore and Malaysia and announce the stats between WM/AW and AM/WW pairings. I want to see your field report.
Can you provide the link (news) about the British woman who courted an Indian cricket player and the criticisms that she took? I am interested in seeing this news about her woes.
I’ve lived in Shanghai 6 years, I would see an AM/WF couple once a year (if that) but this year and in the same month I saw 3 AM/WF couples , I was happy and giving high fives in my mind.
Thanks for your report. You wrote that you saw 3 AM/WW pairings in a month. How many WM/AW pairsing did you see? I wanted to see the comparison or proportion between WM/AW and AM/WW. Please advise.
On average you can see 2 to 3 WM/AW pairing on the streets of Shanghai per day ( maybe more depending on where and when). Where as AM/WW pairing you are lucky to see 2 or 3 per year .
I known of a number of WW ( and I am one of them) who have had or would like to have relationships with Chinese men but for what ever reasons find it difficult.
But in saying this I feel in the past 6 years that beliefs and attitudes are changing or relaxing. This year during CNY there was a news report on the amount of young people applying for marriage certificates, it was reported that the agencies had a higher number of AM/WW applying for certificates than any other year. ( sorry don’t have actual figures)
When you say that beliefs and attitudes are changing or relaxing, are you referring to Chinese men or white women?
Report from DC for the past five days…two AWWM couples, two AWBM couples and zero AMWW couple.
Thank you for your report on the stats. I wish you well in your search for a relationship with a Chinese man. I am sorry to read that you found it difficult to have such a relationship with them, but it always seemed like the case for us Asian boys also. When I was younger and decided that I wanted to date Western women, I too found it difficult as I was turned down over and over again. Prior to making that decision, I did not have much problem dating Asian women (as I am an AM). But when I decided to date WW, it was so hard that I did not know what to do or where to go even though in the U.S. where I live I am surrounded by Westerners everywhere.
@Fred…when I was younger back in the 1970s an Asian female will get into serious trouble for being with a white male, let alone the other way around. You were lucky you were only rejected…I have seen cases where Asian men have been beaten up for asking a white woman out.
Well, I find it difficult to believe that one can be physically assaulted for asking a WW out on a date. I guess I grew up at a different time and not during the 1950 and before. When did you see an AM get beaten up for asking a WW out?
“When did you see an AM get beaten up for asking a WW out?”
Did not see any..but heard of some in Australia…There was a spate of violence against Indian male students in Australia…and word on the street was that some were with white women or dating white women. Some say that some of it was set-up. In the US, all I know is a visceral reaction to same race South Asian couples…a dark skinned Tamil from South India married to a very light skinned Kashmiri from north India mistaken for an interracial couple in Indiana..kids harrassed and they were run out of town in 1984. In 2002 an Indian doctor under a Conrad 30 program in Southern Virginia got beat up because they thought he was black who was living with a white woman…actually his wife is Indian..pretty light skinned. And last year, a missionary Indian-American couple one dark skinned and one light skinned was raising money in Tennessee which a week later led to a visceral reaction against multiracial couples by a pastor. And in 2012 in Oxford, MS a brown skinned Turkins student was chased by a mob after the elections, but got away. He was with his Turkish wife, who is blonde, blue-eyed and white…so there is anecdotal evidence.
Asian men dont like to ask white women out because: (1) they have problems asking Asian women out for fear of rejection and there is plenty of racism between Asian ethnicities. For instance, a Japanese family I knew disowned their daughter for marrying Chinese, but the other daughter who married white is treated like a queen..interestingly the white side of the family did not accept her (mormons). It is a matter of hierarchy, disgusting as it may be; (2) they have problems with white women…some people think it is that Asian men, to put it mildly, are less well endowed…but I think that the same women who reject Asian men, at least in most cases wont sit next to a non-white man (black included) let alone date, introduce him to her family or marry one..even if she is not prejudiced, she is probably afraid of her family; (3) Asian men are pretty smart…they read the internet…and stories such as those involving interracial couples in towns such as Jasper, TX do not help the situation…yes they are plain afraid of violence themselves; and (4) there is a fear of loosing face, which is still big in Asia.
Back in the early 1990s..a Chinese-American graduate student from Ivy League showed up in the Jenny Jones show with his “white girlfriend” to irritate her racist parents…they decided to play along because Jenny Jones gave them $2,000 to appear on the show….her mother was vehement that she will never accept the Chinese-American guy even if he is a multi-millionaire…years later he claimed that the whole thing was a set-up…nothing bad happened but two days later after the show involving a secret admirer, a white guy shot his admirer dead…cannot remember whether the admirer was a guy or a non-white woman…someone can check that out…in other words, our present day Asian-American Professor could have been very lucky that her old man did not come with a gun!
Wow! I had no idea of such hatred and violence between the races in the U.S. I have heard of some incidents of violence between the races but not to the extent that you described. Perhaps they are isolated incidents and inflated by the media and then once you hear about them, they became ingrained in peoples minds; then they arrive at the conclusion that hatred is everywhere. In my personal experience, I have not been attacked or ridiculed for being with my White Brazilian wife. Before I was married, I have been rejected in the past based on race and non-racial reasons when I approached non-Asian girls for dates. But then again I have received a certain amount of positive response also (not based on race).
Mr. David, what was your experience dating non-Asian women? Were you able to get any dates with any non-Asian women? Any negative responses? Any positive responses? What methods did you use? Please advise.
@Fred…mostly in the US South, particularly in Alabama….I thought you lived in LA. Here are two news items on Alabama where blacks and whites call each other racists….
Then we have Jasper, Texas…
and on the lighter side…I think this couple lives in Korea perhaps with their supersmart girls….call it a stereotype but in many cases it is very true based on stats….far from it all….
I think it’s both. The couples I see I would say are in their mid 20’s to early 30’s .