Double Happiness | Speaking of China

Wanted: Your Stories Of Love Lost, Unrequited Love and More

(photo by Leland Francisco via Flickr.com)

This past week, we’ve had a flurry of conversations arise from a simple story of a setup for love that ultimately failed. My thanks to Fred for sharing that story!

But it got me thinking. I originally called on readers to share stories of love that lead to happily ever after. And yes, I had a reason — I wanted to offer a counterbalance to all of the negativity out there surrounding relationships between Chinese men and Western women.

Yet Fred’s story reminded me that we can learn so much from stories where love never happened or love was lost. There’s value in sharing those stories — and I’d like to make space for them.

So I’m putting out an official call. If you have a story of Western women and Chinese men in love that didn’t work out — such as love lost or love failed — then I want to hear from you!

You can submit it through my page or just e-mail me your story (jocelyn (at) speakingofchina.com). Feel free to change the names and even places to protect yourself or the people in your story. And if you don’t want to be named in connection with the story (in other words, no byline), that’s fine too.

I haven’t come up with a name for this series yet (“Double Happiness” seems too upbeat in retrospect), so I welcome any suggestions for a name.

And I especially look forward to hearing from you.

P.S.: Of course, if you have a great love story perfect for Double Happiness or Yin-Yang, I’m always happy to publish that too. See my submit page for more details.

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Double Happiness: Setting Up His Chinese Nephew With American Women

In late 2011, Fred graciously shared his own inspiring story of how he fell in love with — and eventually married — a woman from Brazil.

Then last year, he started filling me in via e-mail on a new and completely different story. He decided to try and set up his Hong Kong nephew, who was in his late 30s and still single, with some American women he knew. As Fred wrote below, “I thought with 100 percent certainty that any man would leap to his death to be able to date not just one or two but three ladies!”

The story developed over the summer and just recently he updated me on what finally happened. Will Fred’s nephew find love in another country, just as Fred did? Read on.

Fred refers to that hugely popular post on the rarity of couples of Chinese men and Western women. I was speaking primarily about the situation in China, so what I wrote doesn’t necessarily apply to Chinese men who were mainly raised overseas.

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I remembered how Jocelyn once wrote that many Chinese men hesitate to date Western women for a variety of reasons. Was this really true? I decided to find out on my own. Continue reading “Double Happiness: Setting Up His Chinese Nephew With American Women”

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Double Happiness: “He Calls Me ‘Guapa'” — A Chinese-Spanish Love Story

A Chinese guy and Spanish girl in love -- Tony from China, and Laura from Spain — Tony, from China, and Laura, from Spain.

Guapa means good-looking or handsome in Spanish. It’s also a lovely word to start off a story about an equally lovely couple — Laura, from Spain, and Tony, from China.

Thanks to Laura for sharing this story, and the photographs.

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Tony calls me cariño (dear), sometimes guapa (good-looking), and other times Lauritina. It is really wonderful to have someone who calls you guapa when you get home.

We met in a Suzhou Starbucks, while I was having a coffee with a friend and he was chilling out after a meeting in Suzhou.

He came over the table and he introduced himself. He wanted to practice his English and our table was the most suitable one for that purpose. We talked for some minutes and when we told him we actually speak Spanish, he took out a book from his bag, I couldn’t believe it, he bought a book to learn Spanish the same day we met. Well, that must mean something, I thought. Continue reading “Double Happiness: “He Calls Me ‘Guapa’” — A Chinese-Spanish Love Story”

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Double Happiness: Chinese Man Moves to Mexico, Finds Love

Classic mexican colors at the Bazaar del Sabado — (photo from i_amici’s flickr stream)

How far would you go to change your life? For Hao, his journey took him all the way to Mexico, where he found a new career — and a new love.

I’m really excited to share his story, and hope you find it as inspiring as I did.

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It all started back in 2006, when I met this lovely Mexican family (not related to my love) living in California. In that same year, my fortunes took a turn for the worse. I couldn’t find a decent job in the States, and I struggled for years not knowing what to do. Then my Mexican friend suggested ever-so-casually, “Why don’t we go to Mexico?” Continue reading “Double Happiness: Chinese Man Moves to Mexico, Finds Love”

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Double Happiness: A Brief, But Beautiful, Spanish-Chinese Romance

A girl leaning over a railing overlooking a river, with a sad expression on her face. — (photo by Michael Dorokhov, via his Flickr stream)

When Lauren submitted to me, she wrote, “I’m writing to share my story with a Chinese boy, although not all fairy tales have a happy ending.”

Even though I call this series “Double Happiness,” sometimes that happiness doesn’t last forever. Lauren’s story reminded me of the joys I experience with past loves, if only for a short time. Sometimes it’s good to remember.

Thanks for sharing your memories, Lauren. Continue reading “Double Happiness: A Brief, But Beautiful, Spanish-Chinese Romance”

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Double Happiness: Artist, Dreamer Never Imagined Taiwanese Hubby or Future in Taiwan

Eileen and Dawen — (photo from myneonsignlullaby dot com)

When Eileen Fogg, the blogger behind My Neon Sign Lullaby, told me she would share the story of how she and Dawen, her Taiwanese hubby, got together, I couldn’t wait. I think anyone who’s followed Eileen for some time will agree that she’s one of the most lovable voices out there, and also a talented artist to boot. In fact, she’s generously shared some of her art with me for this piece. If you love her art, make a purchase at her Zazzle Store. Continue reading “Double Happiness: Artist, Dreamer Never Imagined Taiwanese Hubby or Future in Taiwan”

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Double Happiness: Michelle and Kwan are Getting Married

Not long after I first launched Ask the Yangxifu in January 2010, I received an e-mail from an American woman named Michelle about her burgeoning relationship with Kwan, a Chinese-American man she just met. Never did I imagine that, more than two years later, I would follow Michelle and Kwan throughout their relationship (through Michelle’s occasional e-mails) — right through to their engagement and marriage plans.

What a thrill. This is the first couple I’ve ever had the privilege to follow from their first meeting to marriage.

But even better, Michelle agreed to share her story with us for Double Happiness — how she met Kwan, and how he proposed to her. Michelle, I wish you and Kwan báitóuxiélǎo (白头偕老, may the bride and groom live to a ripe old age together)! Continue reading “Double Happiness: Michelle and Kwan are Getting Married”

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Double Happiness: Chinese Wedding Stories from Four Western Women

John and I kissing at our wedding — John and I, kissing at our wedding

I’m a sucker for Chinese weddings — especially when they involve my fellow yangxifu. Which is why I couldn’t help but put together a little compendium of wedding stories about Western women and Chinese men tying the knot, from getting the little red marriage books to slipping into those little red qipaos. I’ve included snippets of stories from Tianjin Shannon, Tales from Hebei’s Kelly Sandor-Yang, Ember Swift, and My Beijing Survival Diary’s Michelle Guo. Continue reading “Double Happiness: Chinese Wedding Stories from Four Western Women”

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Double Happiness: A Brazilian-Chinese Love Story That Started With Football

A bride topper made for a cake that was a gift from a bride-to-be to her soccer lover fiance on his birthday. — (photo by Ban Tell)

I’ll be honest, it’s been a challenging summer for us. Moving across country, getting settled in, even my husband’s whole internship thing (he still faces uncertainty in some respects, but that’s another story…sigh).

But then, days before, I found this little postcard of a love story in my inbox — in Portuguese. Well, I don’t know Portuguese. But between my Spanish minor from college and a little help from Google Translate, I worked the story out — and was touched. In the midst of all of the difficulties, I found a little something that made me smile, and restored my faith in the world.

Thank you for this story, Diandra, you saved me from my summer blues. Muito obrigado. Continue reading “Double Happiness: A Brazilian-Chinese Love Story That Started With Football”

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Double Happiness: Chinese Love Stories That End With Weddings

Samantha Mead and her Chinese husband — (photo from Samantha Mead)

I’m taking a break from posting from May 28 until June 8. But in the meantime, I’m sharing some of my classic content — which might either be new to you, or just a great read worth revisiting. Either way, hope you enjoy these, and I’ll see you June 11. 😉

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As I said last week, it’s wedding season in the US. If you’re in the mood for weddings, enjoy these classic stories from the Double Happiness archives of love between Chinese men and Western women that ends with a wedding.

A Western Woman Walks Into a Bar. “A Western woman walks into a bar…” sounds like the start of a joke. But instead of coming back with a punchline, a number of Western women came back with Chinese men who they would eventually marry. Featuring stories from Jo Kelly-Bai, Kelly Sandor-Yang, and White Girl in a Chinese-American World.

The Accidental Online Dater. A white American woman tells the story of how a free online dating account she never intended to use led her to her future Chinese husband.

How a Chinese Man Found Love in Brazil. Fred, who was born in Hong Kong and primarily raised in the US, never expected he would marry a white woman, let alone one from Brazil.

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